19.3.26 - 74 - Eulogy: What will survive of us is love

I wrote and read this for Pa at the service. It was in long hand, but I have it here typed out now. It is peppered with verses from the New Testament, because I was asked by the priest to refer to Jesus occasionally, so I made that concession. Big shout out to Ben and the Christian Community whom I spent many a delighted evening reading and discussing the Bible during Bible study class.

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Thank you everybody for coming here to honour the life of husband, father and legend which is Eric Sim Chin Seng. Pa crossed over on the 16th of March at 7.30 am. He went peacefully and gently. He breathed his way slowly past this life and on to the new one, leaving his bark, his body, which carried him and his indomitable spirit and endless capacity to love, for 81 years, to say farewell to one last time.

This tribute is to you, for you, Pa, who always walked in the sacred steps of Jesus Christ and lived the best life which could be lived.

Part I: John 1:14

"The word became a human being, and full of Grace and Truth, lived among us."

What is the story of Pa? Where to begin? To recall? To do justice to this extraordinary life of this extraordinary man.

His youth, as with the youth of all Singaporeans in the 40s and 50s, was filled with all the promise of the most uncertain possibilities. 

From the stories he told us, he was a cheeky handful - even naughty - exactly what you'd except of a lively, intelligent child.

His was so much so, that my grandmother, his mother, brought him to a Buddhist priest to have his fortune told, and there it was pronounced that when he turned 16, he would get his act together.

As with all good stories, Pa did indeed get it together when he was 16 and went on to obtain exemplary grades which landed him a job in Mobil Oil where he stayed for several decades and proceeded to do very well for himself indeed.

Education was very important to Pa and he went on to get five diplomas in Business and Management from what would become today's SMU - although he would still occasionally lament about not having gone to university - to which my mother would say, Would you just stop it?

Part II: In life you must have luck - and a good wife. (Papa)

When he was 21, he met my mother, Teresa Chan - or Ma - who was to be the love of his life. When I say that all the great love songs were written for them, I do not exaggerate - they are still the happiest couple I know.

By way of making conversation, I asked him (less than two weeks ago), how did you meet Ma? He told me, I met her in heaven. This makes total sense. True soul mates who agreed to find each other here - on this planet, on this island, in this life time.

They went on to have Jac and me - and we went on to have Oisin, Aurelia, Amhairghin and Alex. Today, Oisin, Aurelia and Ghin are overseas, but they are more than ably represented by Alex, the youngest of the four.

Pa was the ultimate family man - he was there for us every step of the way. He taught us to ride a bike, took us to the beach or pool or reservoir every weekend, to Kent Ridge to collect saga seeds, to grimy coffee shops in the hunt for the best gu bak or roast duck. He cooked, danced, laughed with abandon. He was also a relentless boundary enforcer and was extremely strict. Along with my mother, they were a formidable pair to get past. 

Part III: Matthew 18:3 - Truly, I tell you the truth, that unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

If at all possible, Pa loved his grandchildren even more - possibly because he was a big child at heart himself.

There are way too many photos of the proud beaming grandad or Kong Kong, holding his newly minted cucu. The way he was strict with us, he indulged them ruinously. In Pa, they had an endless supply of sweets, chocolates, toys, MacDonalds and Coca Cola. His catch phrase then was, "Upsize, all the way!"

Needless to say, any objections the exasperated mothers of these children - ie his daughters - put up, were batted away good naturedly with a total lack of regard.

Thank you Pa for being the best Kong Kong of all time.

Part IV: Matthew 7:16 - "By their deeds, you will know them."

When I say that Pa was a good man, he really was a good man. All he wanted to do was help others. He joined the union in Mobil where he rose to become its head. He then begun volunteering for the PAP where he would stay for decades. He was the Branch Secretary of Chong Boon and Cheng San, where we worked closely with Lee Yock Suan and the then PA Lee Hsein Loong. 

Every Thursday night, he went for the Meet the People sessions, and for years, he would organise the short lived elections which would inevitably become walkovers. 

His devotion to the PAP did result in many heated conversations at the dining table and in the car, but Pa continued to serve with real earnestness and was part of that Pioneer generation which built the Singapore we now enjoy.

For his decades in service, he received the Pingkat Bakti Masyarakat and the Bintang Bakti Masyarakat.

Part V: Psalm 128:2 - "You will eat the fruit of your labour; blessings and prosperity will be yours."

Pa attempted to retire - twice. But his expertise in the LPG markets meant he was head hunted by SPC and then, Union Gas. He was at the top of his game - and everyone else's game - when he well and truly hung up his boots and traded them in for a pair of golf shoes at 72. He then spent his time playing even more golf, hanging out with Ma and coming up to Ireland and travelling.

Pa has been everywhere - from the courses of St Andrews and Gleneagles, the beaches of the Atlantic and Desaru and many other strange and wonderful places. 

What a life! And I haven't even begun to tell you a pointage of a percentage of the man he was. 

Well, Pa - here we are, at the end of a thoroughly, ludicrously, insanely successful life. You are the man who really did have it all.

You left so suddenly and so swiftly - but utterly on your own terms. Despite your reservoirs and capacity to love, you were also ruthlessly pragmatic and unsentimental. 

Part VI: John 14:1 - "I go to prepare a place for you so that you may be with me and you will know the way."

You gave as two weeks to say our goodbyes and to tell us how much you loved us. Loved Ma. To take care of Ma. Take care of Ma were your last words. This we promise. Then, with us around you, you stepped lightly through the door - and were gone - gone to rejoin your own family who had gone before you and all the others who loved you so dearly who had done the same.

You had a superb life and gentler return into the arms of Jesus - and yet you are more present with us than you could ever be - although we will miss you so, so terribly.

I end with the last line from Larkin's Arundel Tomb: "What will survive of us is love."

We love you so much Pa. Thank you for everything. You are the very embodiment, the very essence, the very promise that, indeed, what will survive of us is love.

Rest in Peace Pa.

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The long-hand version - I rewrote the text thrice