Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

I was researching more Alexander the Great, and it seems that he was called such by a Roman historian. So that was interesting. But what was more interesting was i found my mood changing as i listened to the music and continued researching. Music i good for centering me, i know this now. I am so easily influenced by it. And I think I must just protect myself more from the day to day nonsense which Singapore brings. I think that this time round I was so tired when I arrived that I had not had the ability to edit things out and then, the surprise to see that so much had changed in the two short years I was away knocked me sideways. Then, because I didn't have the energy to edit, things just washed over me. And for awhile that was ok, but mostly it was chaos all over. It cannot be chaos anymore. I must remember who I am, and return to that. To create beauty is what my life is about really. If i had to say just one thing, one line, to create beauty. There is nothing finer or more imp...

I spent most of the last two days getting up to speed with Alexander the Great. I have to admit it is a LITTLE BIT DISAPPOINTING to learn that i would have completely hated him as a human being. I don't know who gave him the Great name, or if it is entirely warranted, but I most certainly do not think he is great. He is sort of like a testosterone fueled maniac which does not have any moral values. He was only ever interested in fighting and going to war. He was a complete narcissist and inspired whole generations of narcissists. I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of men he killed or caused to be killed. I can't imagine he was too happy about his own life. He should be called Alexander the Dickhead. It has been so wonderful not doing too much. It is my time off. And at least i get to have time off. No meals cooked, no shopping done, no laundry to take care off, no house to clean. Singapore though, i have no time for. The small pockets and my friends, but that...

I spent three days in Bintan with my sister. It was really quite wonderful in all sorts of ways. As i think about the time we had, it seems like not time at all since we were little girls, being forced together through circumstance (having the same parents) and dueling it out, or just getting on. As we have gotten older, we have become very close. I, who never appreciated what it meant to have a sister, understand it now. It probably is another thing I took for granted. I don't take it for granted now. Having someone who knows every single part of you, who has issues with you, who accepts you for who you are... it is pretty special. Not everyone can do that, not even siblings. I know sibling, not so far away from us who can't really get on, or even maybe despise each other. There is still plenty of time for us to do this to each other, of course, you can't tell what life throws at you, but I hope that our love for each other will be more precious than anything else which ...

Yesterday Oisin wanted to visit Sim Lim Square to find out how much he could buy an iPhone for. And so we ended up in a shopping centre I had not been for almost 25 years on a super hot afternoon.  Sim Lim has a reputation of being a bit like the wild west. Anything goes and you could get shouted at, beaten up, cheated, almost certainly. But i told Oisin, hey, let's not buy anything ok, let's just go in there and see what the deal is, and so we did. Sim Lim is six floors of nothing buy shops selling computers and tech. It is mostly computer repair shops, some shops selling wires and accessories, some shops selling second hand smart phones. One sex shop. The people in Sim Lim were not shady at all. Oisin said, they were just fat happy guys; they were perfectly alright. What is interesting about Sim Lim is that it is part of Rochor Road and Jalan Besar. Now, I did not know this, but this place has now got a thriving red light district. I only caught this on when I noti...

It has only bee three weeks and it feels like we have been here a lifetime. Singapore has become even more crowded if that was even possible. Living between being a tourist and an ex-Singaporean, it has been surreal, for some reason, even more so this time. The last time i was here, it was like a little bit of a tonic. This time round, it was a bit depressing. Everyone is getting older and there is something about Singapore which now seems insurmountable. I don't know what that means, it is something which i feel. There are far more older people about as well, as the population ages. A whole different set of questions is being asked. If you have spent all your life as productive, then when you are no longer productive, and you have no money, then what are you going to do? Look after your grandchildren is good. But say, if you have never spent anytime self-actualising, then what? Is life not about self-actualising, whatever that means to you? So that you have an old age with peace...

Just outside the Orchard Road MRT station I decided to walk from Orchard Road to Serangoon Road yesterday. It is hardly three km, but in Singapore, that is just unthinkable. This is partly because the architecture and the feel of both places could not be further apart, which makes it seem tremendously far away. The other reason is also because most people drive and the drive between Orchard and Serangoon Road and that drive is hell. It is traffic jam upon traffic jam OR it is extremely expensive because of the charges. But to walk it, is really interesting. Firstly because of the huge shopping centres. Small boutiques are huge emporiums Gucci, Chanel, Ferragamo, Armani all have gigantic shops Takashimaya, or Ngee Ann City For the longest time it was the largest shopping centre in Orchard Road. It since has been surpassed by several buildings, especially ION Orhcard Either side of Orchard Road looks like this now TREES! The other amazing thing about Orchard ...

I have gone running now seven days out of six. It has been brilliant. Rubik's cube.... the old fidget spinner, but better, according to Ghin Not having alcohol since i left the shores of the British Isles i feel absolutely FANTASTIC. It kind of makes me wonder why in the world i drink. I was thinking to myself yesterday, when i get back i am really going to try to run everyday. I think that as one gets older, you really have to start paying attention to yourself more. It is sort of like having a vintage car, rather than a new car. You have to be gentler and spend more time on the bodywork, and the under the hood bit. So eating in moderation because you are most certainly metabolising less, exercising more frequently but more gently, making sure that you sleep more, being better to yourself, not beating yourself up - and so not drinking really helps there. Ma, behind the wheel, in the kamikaze Singaporean traffic We brought the weather with us Bhuddist centre - t...

Enjoying dosai in Anada Bhavans It has almost been a week in Singapore and we have eaten our way through a lot of it. It is true that running everyday and not having any alcohol though is contributing greatly to my feeling of well being. I also think that running in Singapore burns more calories just because it is hotter and you sweat more. Not all runs are equal. Paper dosai is a long huge roll of yoghurty goodness with chutney This is idlly This is my sister This is Arab Street This is Ghin in his Red Bull T-Shirt This is a beautiful balcony in Arab Street, about 100  years old, i'd say This is some kind of plant This is one of the tallest buildings in Singapore By the end of yesterday, i was not feeling very well. I had eaten something which had totally not agreed with me and the total urbanisation was getting to me. I was really very very tired. The relentless pace in Singapore is enough to drive you mad. I think that after a whil...