Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

Just a quick update. I don't want good habits going out the window so quickly. I spent 10 hours up at the school and am likely to do the same today. But I broke the back of the cleaning and it's just small things now. The classroom is mostly set up and it's just placing things in the right place and cleaning up the hall way. Stuff which was from like ten years ago was still in drawers. I had to bin them of course. Children which have graduated the school still had work there. The weather was awful. Wind and rain. Nothing like I had ever seen before. I can sort things more finely later, but for now this will do. The floor also needs to be done. It's such a state. I have hoovered it but not mopped. I will do that in the coming weekend. Organising it was enough. I heard that this child is not coming to my class because he had not 'gelled' with me. Could he go to another ...

The garden... I'm so proud of it - what myself and Kevin did all those years ago Yes it does go slowly. Sigh. Yesterday Emma dropped by and I was distracted. But I didn't care. I have done the most important bit which is the understanding what needs to be done. Now the most difficult part is done - grappling mentally with the thing. I know it will take me a few days to sort it but it will be sorted. I now have two new students in the class. One starts tomorrow, one starts in a month's time - if they start at all. I ran yesterday and did 75 sit ups. So that coming along great. I'll go today again at 6.30. The days are becoming colder and darker quickly it seems. Nothing changes, everything stays the same. I love my work. I think we start off with the geography of each country. So we will start off with India first. We can do this for two days. That will let me get everything else sorted.  Yeah, I don't know what else to say. Ma looks good. Jac said she looks happy. M...

I think I know SOME Irish. Just SOME. Cannot conjugate verbs. Useless. It has been a hectic few days. Of course I cleaned my own house and before that I cleaned Ma's house. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed with having to do the classroom as well. I will just SABAR.  We had a chat from the adoption specialists in the school. It was nothing I already knew. It did reinforce things which I DID know. I said to ma, if there is a God, why are children brought into this world with so little. Less than little. Damaged by the start in life which they have. Of course, one of the speakers made a good point that everyone in the room was damaged by the Troubles. I have always understood this. And not just the people in the North. Collectively, all of Ireland still has the fallout of the colonisation which the English visited upon them.  Well, today that is not my problem. Today my problem is the classroom and the interviews.  I'm really tired.  The good news is I did go running yes...

The inimitable Breughel Last night's session at the Christian community was once more a revelation. The parable of the sower which I had heard so many times took on a different hue. The miracle of the seed, the poor substitution for 'logos', what it meant to substitute logos for word, the reminder that working with the life forces to create a fertile ground for the living plant is never easy. It requires patience, endurance, it requires the struggle. I love it. I love all of it. Every time I think the Bible has nothing to offer me, the reading group renews my faith in it.  The other thing I learnt was that the word 'patience' means 'to remain'. That is what the essence of patience is - to stay, no matter what. Until the seed becomes the plant. There is no way of hurrying that process. The other discussion was about how previously in the so called Old Testament, it was all about the law. The law literally carved in stone. Jesus never speaks of a l...

According to Steiner, we have two other hearts - the etheric and the astral. These are formed by US and the circumstances with which we live in. It makes sense you know. I think of the Zionists and their awful inheritance. No wonder they behave in the way they do. Their etheric and astral hearts must be completely devoid of any positive traits of humanity. I must reread this passage because really, especially this series of lectures, is fascinating. It looks at the human being and attempts to help us recognise what an incredible existence we have. In many ways, all the other myths do that - not of course the horrible Old Testament. The Old Testament is full of the most miserable stories. I find it more and more objectionable. Almost certainly the most boring set of myths when compared to what we are studying. I have the Koran beside me on the sofa and I am going to read that when I am in the living room chilling.  In essence, the Etheric Heart are all the etheric forces...

Life is made up of the little things. I cannot remember the little things we all did together, all I know is that when we did them I thoroughly lived them. I enjoyed them so much. I made a point of doing so. I made sure that every meal taken with my sons, every outing I went with them, every moment I had to sit through with them, I loved it. So I cannot tell you what I had and what I loved, but I know it was there. And in many ways, this blog is a testimonial to that. To what we went together. So, thank you.  Yesterday was one of those gorgeous days I hoped would last forever. We met up and went to Boojums - see above - in Victoria Square. The food is awful, but the boys for some unknown reason love it. Then we walked around trying to locate a place that sold a TP Link. It was next to impossible. But the day was warm and sunny and the boys were enjoying being with each other. It was Bank Holiday Monday so everyone was milling about. I have never seen the cit...

  Thought I'd use this today - the genocide of our time goes on. Are these people actually insane? What happened to them? Where is there humanity? I have no more words for them. None. It's 3 am. But I got up at 1 am. This is really going nowhere. It's day 4 since I got back, Well jetlag is worst around day 3. You think you've got it licked and actually you haven't got it licked at all. The best you can hope for is you haven't picked up something disgusting on the plane. I managed to tidy the garage which I am so happy with. Today I MUST do the deed and get the accounts sorted. I have waited for far too long. What I'll do is I'll do it down here and then bring all the things upstairs to the office. I don't know if I can still use the very slow laptop. It just takes an age booting up. I did the right thing taking Pa's unused computer. Pa got his tooth extracted. Old age is crap. I just want to die at 65. I've really had the fullest life possibl...

Taken today At this time of the year, I am usually filled with quiet inspiration and energy, as evidenced from my extreme productivity over the past few days. I have organised the house - the areas I usually live in, and I managed to tidy the garage where my Forest School things are. I did very much surprise myself. I only have the food and the art/education area to fine tune and organise. I am really proud of myself. I promised myself I would start transcribing. I am so tired though. Practically brain dead that this time of the year. I tried out the back room today and it seems to work, having a creativity room, a room I can think in, which isn't an office. Or the living room. I'm very satisfied so far. There is so much that can be done. I cannot say I am bored at all really. Possibly overwhelmed. I am so happy that I have managed to continue running. And eating well. Much better than I was in Singapore, where I never cooked.  Everything feels massive but very doab...

I am going to take a well deserved rest. I cleaned and tidied the garage today. Just the food and art area now to be organised,  but honestly it took 2 long hours and i did it.  After that the boys and i headed for breakfast. I had buffalo mozerella with tomatoes and rocket and they had the Titanic.  Got home and its now time for bed... so happy. Transcribing when i get up.

Well, I did it... I cleared the hall and I organised the stuff in this room into little piles. I have so much to be getting on with - it's SO MUCH. But get on with it I shall. As a break, I was reading about what Steiner had to say about the etheric heart and the astral organs. It is fascinating, especially given what we are doing to our children now. I have organised everything into neat piles. So after I do the garage, the first thing I will do is finances of Elements. That's the most urgent thing. Then I will do MY finances. Then I'll do the piles of filing I should have done - most of the things will go to the office. THEN I'll do the transcribing. I have loads of time to do that. Being in this room is perfect. This is now my room. When I do up the boys' rooms, I will choose themes. I haven't decided what it is as yet, but I will choose themes... Right, time for my run now. I have developed a slight headache for some unkno...

There are no words for the genocidal behaviour of the Pissraelis. They cry blood libel, but at this stage, it is kinda like a blood libel. The wanton killing of anyone in order to finally take over the Gaza Strip is something else. How can any race of people be so cruel. Oh wait, not so long ago this occurred routinely as part of European conquest. I do not know how I am supposed to teach the Voyages of Discovery. Maybe I don't. Well, actually I didn't the last time. The last time I taught colonialism, and I also did the cultures of the countries conquered by Europe. That's it. We do not do colonial history until RIGHT AT THE END. There are no words really. Right. I just thought I'd say that on this day, almost 2 years of genocide has taken place. And that Pissrael has placed themselves beyond the bounds of humanity. I'd say whatever people say about Zionists is now fair game.

Yesterday I actually tidied up the backroom and the dinihg room. I did that after my run. I did intend to do the finances and garage but when I went into the garage, the washing machine was filled with Oisin's clothes and that stopped me in my tracks. I rewashed his clothes and went back in and never recovered from the minor obstacle. BUT the backroom and the dining room are massive. Oh yes, I also hoovered the house. I am very proud of that. These seem quite basic, but many Singaporeans I know probably don't remember when they last hoovered their own houses. They have maids for that.  For a house which has been unoccupied, this place was really filled with dirt on the floor and cobwebs - I suppose cobwebs aren't a surprise. I felt sorry for the spiders, but I don't think they had much luck with insects anyway. I really made sure that the flies either didn't breed or were able to leave as I left the bathroom skylight open a teeny bit.  So, today, I hope ...

  Adi Shakti I didn't mean to, but I organised the back room - tidied it - not properly organised it. Just tidied it. Then I tidied the dining room table. I created the piano schedule. This then, I did plan to do - I went for my run. 35 minutes and sit ups - 60. Because of the absence of a sit up bench. But its 10 more than yesterday. It's just gone 8 am. I will hoover and do laundry next then I'll organise the garage. I may have a short nap in between. But the finances will need sorted today so I'll do that before heading to school, if I haven't slept yet. I also found my book where the rest of the stories were. So I'll also start transcribing today as well. It's busy alright. A nice busy. I called Ma again and she told me that she thought I was still in Singapore... then remembered that I had left. She misses me so much. I miss her too. She told me that she had dropped the steroids into the wrong eye - it was one drop. I said not to panic. As long as you d...

  Holywood photo - not mine It was nice to be back yesterday. The first 24 hours. I got up at 2 am and did some blogging. Then I went for a run at 6.30 am - I watched some Sandman and fell asleep. Which is appropriate enough I guess. No. After the run, I did a shop, went to print out the things which I plan to be doing in August and then came back and did them. I also checked my account and it was better than I expected. Which will make doing the accounts better today. Then I watched Sandman and fell asleep. It is very slow and tedious. Honestly. I also tried watching Squid Games and Wednesday. It was all very boring. I couldn't not get into any of them at all. I think I'm getting too old for this shit. Ghin came over for chacuterie lunch and then fell asleep. I then fell asleep. Around 4 pm. I did get up a couple of times. And now I'm wide away. Right on time. Right on cue. I have mostly given up trying to right myself with jetlag. I know it will just work itself out. I ha...

Kali, goddess of time The most precious commodity we have is that one which we cannot see - and that is time. What we choose to do with our time will tell us how wealthy we are. It is interesting that the uber wealthy, even back in the day, would use being idle as the ultimate sign of wealth. With their time, they would do idiotic things, like walk around the dining room which was very large - I always wondered how fucking large were these rooms that people could take turns in them - also, was it not very fucking rude to go off and obviously talk about someone else in front of their faces? They took on Grand Tours - which everyone now does - spending months in Europe. Because they had nothing else to do. And even if they did see these amazing sights, they were so bored and filled with ennui that they became depressed and then have to take cures in mountains, etc. It's ridiculous. Much better to do things which give you time to do the things which are important to you. Maybe people ...

Back in Ireland. The best thing about it - the silence. Thank god. Being in my own space. Doing my own thing. I do miss Ma and Pa and the pool... but really, that was about it.  Just lost the entry because the laptop had to restart. But today is all about getting organised. This time in Singapore I realised that I many of my behaviours were inherited from my parents. I don't have these behaviours anymore, the ones which I have recognised as not very helpful, but it was interesting watching them. The escalation effect was something else. Small things would be blown out of proportion if they didn't want you to do it. My father sort of did it to extremes.. like not letting Ghin come home on his own - because there were dogs out there. It was super worrying. The most important thing is to have a sense of humour. We just had to laugh at these things. Which we did - a lot. Oh most recently, my sons told me I was a pick me girl. I was that's rid...

So, as the time comes to an end, here are what happened over the last six weeks. There are many things which I wanted done which I never did. I never did any shamanic drumming. I never did any drawing. I did some writing and lots of transcribing. So here is what I did: 1. Finished class prep by the first week of August! Crazy, never been done before! 2. Wrote up almost all of my stories 3. Wrote 5 new stories - using the laptop. Never been done before. 4. Come up with an idea for the antedeluvian ages, inspired be the Ancient Cultures Steiner research. 5. Scanned my drawings - thanks Jac! 6. Ran for 33 days - that's almost every day, and swam for quite a lot of that. 7. Am now doing 110 sit ups daily. 8. Stretching 10 mins a day. 9. Caught up with my blog 10. CLEANED the entire living room. Apart from one corner. 11. CLEANED kitchen and fridge 12. Created new space for ma to sit with new TV for birthday. 13. Go...

Well for the second last day, I did go for my run and I did 110 sit ups. It is strange that at the age of 55 I am just about as fit as I've ever been in my life. And 110 sit ups. I have never been able to do 110 sit ups. I not sure what's happening here. How could I possibly be doing sit ups like I have never done before? My skin is great. My hair is great. I feel so well rested. I don't know what next year brings, but it has been so wonderful. So perfect. After that I threw out food in the fridge that couldn't be eaten any more, I threw away the plastic food container which my mum had collected over the past six months, and organised the kitchen countertop so that the cooking, snacking and drinking was all neatly organised. Then after that I packed. I tried to go swimming but it had started to rain. So I bought ma the dress she had been hankering after and some more black running leggings.  After that I went to the dentist and got my teeth seen to. It had been years si...

I dusted and organised the last two shelves I was planning to organise. Today, after this, I'll do the TV area. That needs dusting. And hoovering. I'll then go for my run and swim at around 3 pm. So that's loads of time. Really looking forward to the last place which is going to be organised. I'm so glad I was able to do that for them. I think 3 pm is a good time to go to the club. Run, stretch, swim, then we take them to the Jac's place. I think it will take two hours... oh I should do my Duolingo first...

Today is Ma's birthday. I got up and spent awhile chatting with her and she asked me to get her ingredients to make sambal buah keluak. So that I did. As I walked to NTUC to spend the last of the CDC Vouchers, I reminisced about the houses that were here. How this place used to be all single storeied dwellings. From the distance, as you approached Gardens, you'd see it as a sea of red terracotta roofs. Hence, the Hokkien name, Ang Sa Li - which translates to Red Roofs. It was a small - still is - modestly aspirational place. Many people still lived in so called 'landed property' - not the grand palatial black and white bungalows which the memsahibs would have been ensconced, but the little kampung houses, the houses by the sea, the houses on stilts where tides still came in and out, or shophouses. Like many of my friends' families would have had. The housing estate was still not all prevalent. My grandparen...

Yesterday was very productive. I organised the table to my right and then changed the table cloth for my mom. We also tidied the room. The table to the right then became my dad's golfing and award trophies and his golf things. All his golf things are now on the one table. Today I will do the shelf behind me and then the TV area. And that will be that. I'll have completed the entire thing. I tried to go to the dentist but they kept me waiting for an hour. It was too long. So I came home. It has been a very busy week.  There was a lot of thinking about the present yesterday. Thinking about what it means to be present for family. I do not want to regret not having done what I could while I could. These things do matter. Oh I also need to organise the shelves in my room. I also found out what I needed to do for the club. I think I'm going to pay them using visa. The conve...