Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

The redemption of sunrise The day began with a flat white sun in the dull sky. Gleaming just beyond the clouds, its heat just out of reach. It was uncertain what the weather would do. It could be one of those indifferent spring days: windless, chilly and shadowless. But as noon approached, the rain began and it never stopped. It rained the rest of the day. Rain dripped from overhangs and onto leaves where there were leaves, or went straight into the ground, swelling the soil with each drop. Invisible wet fruit, disappearing from sight, to later appear in the bursting buds and rising sap. It was impossible to garden after the rains began. It wasn't one of those rains which swept in and then left, like rolling waves or riding horses. It just stayed. I have lived long enough in Ireland to recognise the different kinds of rain. This is rain that falls straight and true and constantly. Rain that makes you look outside and be glad that there is an inside. I began this last nigh...

Moses San Pietro in Vincoli by Michaelangelo It is the first day of the holidays. Yesterday i went back to school and cleared a corner of the school garden as well as transferred the compost bins to a new place where they would not be blown about by the wind. We also cut down the number of compost bins to just the one, instead of three. Then we hid the other two compost bins. So that they would not be filled with compostable material or other things. I also unearthed a set of steel drums, a whole orchestra of violins and several cellos. How come we have had these wonderful child sized instruments hiding in the loft of our woodwork room. What has it been doing there? A WHOLE set of steel drums. What the? Today i will be doing lots of gardening at home. And drinking coffee. And trying to get the house and admin stuff in order. It is a holiday in that i am doing things i need to do in a leisurely manner, instead of working at nineteen to the dozen. I am also starting Moses , by...

What is the point? Yesterday i came home, had a hot bath and then feel asleep. I was practically immobile when i was asked if i had any money on me. Only my lips moved and i am not sure who was moving them. Such is life as a teacher. I love being utterly exhausted. I don't understand how my mom did this though. She too was a teacher, she'd come home after a day of teaching and clean the entire house and then she'd make dinner. I can just about having dinner made. Cleaning the house... The garden has settled nicely. All the plants i put in are thriving. It is raining today so i don't think i am going to get any gardening done. I will instead do all the laundry. This week i am getting everything out of the way. Work prep, emails, house things, etc so that the second week of the holidays will be home free. So it will be busy, but a good busy. I have watched the cuts steamroll over the landscape and it has been horrible. It has been horrible because we have crea...

How we saw the solar eclipse on Friday... through the trees An awesome day does not begin to give yesterday's Easter festivities any credit. The WEATHER was amazing. It literally WAS the first day of spring. Winter in the shade and summer in the sun. I was mostly in the shade, but that's ok. Also i managed to get my mini exhibition/display of my class done. That was REALLY nice. When i got to school the place was buzzing. Children were running in and out and because of the great weather we were able to open all the doors to the Main Building and soon there were children running everywhere. My greatest source of joy was watching the kids play in the new garden. In fact my boys - the children of Class Three - spent most of the afternoon in it playing with their new toys. And the girls - of Class Three - spent time at the pond. Everyone tried to look for the frog. And everyone said how great it was that the back garden was now cleared up. I know i go on and on and ON about...

Blake's Ghost of a Flea So, i think that one of the most distinctive things about me is my ability to just shrug off pain, ignore it completely until it goes. It is sort of two modes of reaction to pain. Suffer properly, as is lie in bed, and get over with it. Or just work through it and then it goes. Usually it takes max about three days either way. And then life goes on. I do not do long lingering weird and inexplicable illness. Consequently i think that people who have long lingering weird and inexplicable illnesses and making it up. Well, i don't really think that, but a small part of me does think that. Just get OVER it. I think that might be my inner choleric. Since having done the temperaments, i know that there is a class of people melancholics - who love to dwell and who find things truly tough. Especially the illness and mysterious pains - they aren't making it up. (But maybe they are really, my inner choleric thinks.) However, lately i have been having t...

So, we did more gardening in school today. The children sawed, weeded and watered. They cleared, lifted and dug. Our beds Last September there was nothing here. Only the herb spiral. However, the ground had been cleared from the previous summer and we had kept it cleared with black plastic down. Class 8 and 9 designed the garden and Class 3 was always going to have allotments. We then dug the rest of the garden up, clearing roots and weeds and then, the hard work began. So good we had to look at them twice We then had a parent chainsaw all the logs into the sizes which had been marked out. Always there was a guardian angel watching over us in the form of Kevin who came on weekends and who double checked all our work. Then the logs were lifted. This was not easy AT ALL. The smaller ones could be done by one person, but the larger ones needed teamwork. If anyone needs a team building exercise, may i suggest log lifting. Finally we cleared out the very soggy area near...

My garden as it is being made... my idea of a great view now - no i am not being sarcastic I have spent some part of my life pursuing highs. I mean, let's face it, who hasn't, if they could? Some people do it even if they can't. My highs usually consisted of going to places, seeing new things, you know - the travelling. Then also i would seek out new experiences. Sometimes they were dangerous. And they were cool. Cos they made me feel alive. However, then i had children, and this began to taper off cos, well, it would be a good idea to start behaving responsibly since i was now responsible for someone else. Like completely responsible. Don't get me wrong, the highs did not entirely cease, but they became fewer and fewer in between. Once i went to Rome for a week when Oisin was like quite young. I was on my own visiting a friend. After three days i thought, what the HECK am i doing here by myself? I want Oisin to be with me so i can be with him. After that i never ...

Happy St Paddy's! Crab claw that Ghin found I am Ghin Yes this is a crab claw I have few teeth missing Am i not still cute? Tide is out My memories - the best ones - have always been by the sea. But a warm sea where we could just take off our clothes and go swimming if we wanted to, without the second thought. My sons' memories of the sea will be chilly, and blue and with wellies and jumpers. I have so much work to do, but i can't seem to do it. Ugh, what is WRONG with me? Hopefully after getting this rant out of the way i will feel better. It is still so fecking cold. So fecking cold. I just want it to warm up and not have to wear layers. I am so tired of the layers. The only way i can get warm these days is to garden. However, after gardening i now have all these mysterious aches and pains which don't seem to go away. This makes me very annoyed. I am 44 i know, but i am not supposed to feel this decrepit am i? I have at least anothe...

From the Lorica of Patrick, also known as The Deer's Cry I arise today Through the strength of heaven; Light of the sun, Splendor of fire, Speed of lightning, Swiftness of the wind, Depth of the sea, Stability of the earth, Firmness of the rock. ... Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me, Christ in the eye that sees me, Christ in the ear that hears me. ... I arise today Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, Through a belief in the Threeness, Through a confession of the Oneness Of the Creator of creation St. Patrick (ca. 377) Last year i had to look into Patrick. I had approached him with trepidation. I had seen him for a long time as someone who had repressed Druidism. In fact, ...

Yesterday i attended a talk called Parsifal and the Sting of Sin. It looked at the Parisfal myth, examining it and questioning its wonderful appeal to us over the many many aeons of time which it has come down to us. It is older than Christianity. Think about the Ramayana, the King of Ireland's Son, even the Monkey God has elements of it. Essentially when you have a journey, which is spiritual, you have the striving, the failing and finally redemption. Our lives are in fact much like these stories... which is why the myth of the Holy Grail, even today, still has such a hold on us. Over the past two years i have looked at the Parisfal myth, especially from the anthroposophical angle. It us a very rich myth and anthroposophy, because it is a creature of its time (think the late 19th century when Europe was experiencing a revival in folk stories and the Arts and Craft Movement) really takes hold of it and examines its symbolism as well as its message. There are many links - espe...

I can't remember when i became a gardener, except that i have always loved gardening. Even when i was not gardening. For many years i struggled with not knowing what to do. Poking here and there... i remember walking into B&Q and picking up a shovel saying, um have no idea what this does, or this does, or this does... i made terrible messes in my garden and other people made terrible messes too. Then i decided, i need HELP. So i got someone to do a garden design for me. And i was blessed with the best possible person to do this. For three years it sat, doing nothing and this year, this year, it has finally happened. I have begun digging the lawn area out and i have also started doing a proper compost bin. Ah my battles with compost and legion. I could write volumes about it. But i won't. However yesterday Peter and Oisin went to get some free pallets and now we have a compost bin. Next will be more horticultural grit to put under the bricks and then i will start diggi...

Melusina - the esoteric female I am trying to remember the exact moment i became a feminist. It was definitely in the first year of university. It was when i was reading about language and patriarchy - why i was doing this i cannot remember. But then it hit me, bam! for the first time that feeling of unfairness in the pit of my stomach was finally given a voice and for the first time i felt like i had begun to think and speak. Then i began to look at women in the media, which quickly became an essay on pornography - back then, even in the early 90s, the public space was being colonialised by pornography. Of course it was going to get worse, to the point where feminists became confused about what consisted of empowerment and exploitation, but that is a different story. Looking at pornography helped me define myself as a woman, being sexual as a woman, and what was objectification and exploitation. I rapidly learnt the different between the Madonna and Britney Spears, and learn...

Our school garden has been through several iterations. At different times, different people have done different things to it. The point with a garden is that it is a habitat. You have to manage it or it will revert to scrub, then woodland and finally it will be a forest one day. That is what it wants to do. A garden is what happens when human beings have a plan with a piece of land and keep doing things to it. With our school garden, we are lucky because gardening is part of the Waldorf curriculum. If not gardening, then being outdoors and farming, using your body, being in touch with the world around you. Gardening fulfills many of these aims, plus it also gives back but in a slow way which teaches everyone, including the adults patience. It is a labour of trial and error.... and a lot of love. It is reading the place and being realistic. And not trying to do everything at once. This was our school garden when Oisin was Class One - which makes it almost seven years ago! It...