Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

I thought that I'd just record the 1 thing which I did during the last 4 months with any regularity, apart from look after Ma. Which was workout. I know why I worked out - it was my refuge. My place of safety and where I stayed in control. That's why I worked out. So is the recording of what took place after 4 months. Overall In hindsight, 4 months wasn't a long time - but while I was at the start of it, it was fucking brutal. I would look at the diary and think, shit and fuck. There are like 70 days to go... 55 days to go... but in hindsight... here I am at 5 and I kept running and swimming despite how far away it all felt. And how it seemed as if there was no progress. But I now promise myself I will do this for the rest of my life... certainly the rest of my time here - till next year. It has been such a good good thing. If anyone thinks that they are depressed, unhealthy, whatever, I can only suggest to start training. Set a goal and start training. Successes There are ...

Let's start with the outing yesterday - Oisin came along. We went to SIT and had breakfast there. Sup Kambing - which is what I think inspired mullankatawny soup. They did steal everything didn't they? We then walked to the shoreline and had a shop at NTUC. And we took a long walk around. I was actually tired when I got back. After two episodes of OITNB I went for my run and then swim. I had two glasses of wine. I saw the boys at the club - they had lunch. We bought drinks and 4 Fingers Chicken for Ghin. Then after that we headed back where I completed the series - the entire series - which was great - but I did end up spoiling it a bit, but only because I found some characters sooo annoying. Most annoying was Aleida, Dara's mother, and there was another character... can't remember which one, but she was ESPECIALLY annoying. The attachment disorder was so severe that she kept on making the most irrational decisions. There were also so...

As someone who gave up the idea of the nation state - round about the same time as I gave up the idea of organised religion, which coincided with my discovery of feminism and the importance of mythos and story telling - I do find national days anachronistic. I also find things like founder days and class reunions and all the things which commemorate things which are clearly done to celebrate some accident of birth which singles you out as better than everyone else. Birthday are different though. They are about celebrating someone's arrival here, although I am also very bad at celebrating those. In fact, I am generally bad at celebrating anything. I'd like to say that life is a celebration day to day, but that would also be a lie. It was not always so, but I do think the longer you live the more these days flatten out until the terrain is just an endless one to death. It is a bit depressing, but also true. This is a roundabout way of me saying, I do not care for National Day at ...

The David Byrne yesterday was excellent. So near Singapore's annual fest of tired old tropes of nationalist fervour, often accompanied with some of the most contrived songs shoe horning patriotism into every quaver and demi semi quaver, his fantastic concert was a tribute to the human spirit. He covered fascism, ICE, celebrated the human condition, the contradictions and complications, repression and the thirst for freedom, animal rights, environmentalism and the destruction of forests, etc. There was impeccable choreography and instrumentalism, the musicians carried their instruments the whole time, the visuals and graphics were state of the art - it was utterly utterly inspiring. It was the perfect antidote to the constant blaring of Count on Me Singapore and other 45 year old propaganda which everyone is subjected to when all shopping centres and supermarkets are turned into our own personal Guantanamo Bay for two weeks at this time every year. I can't imagine what the Massi...

Well it has been a week and it is still not over. Monday - Returned from Johor Tuesday - Went to see exhibition in Asian Civilisations Museum Wednesday - Went to Changi and saw The Odyssey Thursday - A day of meals and then walked around in Chinatown after dusk Today we will head to see the David Byrne 'Who is the Sky?' gig. In between all of this there was lots of conversation and laughter. Like today I discovered that Jac used to tutor a child of someone I went to RJC with - and spent lots of time with in the Track and Field team. It's raining. Oisin is planning to head to Bali so I put him in touch with Deena who has a cousin who owns a place there. Then we chatted more about things in JC. Oisin then accused me of being a pick me and possibly a mean girl as well. Because I used to be in the Track and Field team. Was I? I said, and they all piled on and made fun of me. It was ...

Yesterday was moderately busy. I had lunch with Jac and Ma and then we went to Changi Hopsital to drop Oisin off for the VC event. Then Ghin and I went for a walk to Changi Village. At first we went to this place called Smoke and Barrel, which was beside this per-friendly container park which served food and was also an amusement arcade. Seems odd that people would come all the way here for an amusement arcade. It was like a fragment of Coney Island which was Asian had been transplanted to the edge of an airfield. It was also unkempt and run down but clearly awaiting for people to visit and there were a few punters on this hot Wednesday afternoon. It felt like I had stepped into the set The Crying of Lot 49. Anyway, after deciding this was not for us, we ended up at Changi Village and walking along the coastal path. Changi is now very done up - I remember when there were no cycling paths and it was just sand. Of course it makes it more accessible.  It was, a...

Listening to the set list for 2026's David Byrne tour. It starts off with Heaven. It kind of is my spirit animal. Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.  So, the story of the saga with the DW next door, is that she is now leaving. Which is great. With her permission in contacted MOM and they escalated it. And the agent was involved and there was a meeting with the employer, my neighbour, and she is now allowed to go home. I also contacted HOME and they were also great. There is help out there - people just have to be able to ask for it. I wonder if the women get, as part of their training, what recourse they have should they encounter abuse and what they are entitled to. She told Yati to tell me thanks. I don't know what will happen to her now, but she is away from this demon. Honestly the scolding she was subjected to was brutal. And other things were even worse. It was mad.  But fair play to MOM and Home and ...

View from the hotel Ma made it to Malaysia! After years of saying she wouldn't go, Jac managed to strongarm her into going to Johor. Well, we made it. And we stayed at a super nice hotel - the Sheraton. Only that the hotel itself was surrounded on all side by construction and extreme disorganisation. Which was par of course for Johor. The place has always been a mess. The thing though is, if I was the government of Johor I would look at deindustrialising the place. Fixing one zone at a time. Getting it right. Finishing dead buildings. Honestly, the number of unfinished projects. Finish them ffs.  Then on the other side of Johor they have cleared so much forest that it is blazingly hot. Insanely hot. It's mad.  Malaysia is just a mess really. Well Johor is. I don't know any part of Malaysia where I could go to - like not a hotel - an enclave...

I've been feeling exhausted. Yesterday, the boys and I went to Marine Parade. It was so nice. The place was not busy. The day was - well, you see what it was like. We dithered about taking bikes or not. All the bike places had closed and I was exasperated to see that I now had to download an app to hire a bike. There was something which was lost. So we walked until I realised we couldn't walk any more to where I thought we should go and we came upon the McDonalds which had been renovated. Now the area had a few other outlets. Oisin chose a really nice Indian Muslim place. I had the murtabak which was massive. Ghin and he had tandoori chicken with briyani.  It was sooo nice. Then after that we walked back to the car - not having taken the bikes. But in really good spirits. Laughing and joking and just enjoying the wonderful weather, bellies full and happy with leftovers for later. It was a searingly hot day - one of the...

Sometimes I think, hey Singapore is heading in the right direction and then like buses things come around which say to you, no, you are still living the totalitarian dream. Like the leader of the opposition who has been harried relentlessly, just like his predecessor before him, so the point where he can will no longer be able to practise law in Singapore any longer. JBJ was reduced to standing outside hawker centres distributing The Hammer. The remaining forests are now under threat. It is unlikely that the voices of the people will be heard and the forests saved. That Massive Attack is told that they are under investigation for flying the Palestinian flag. I mean the list does go on. A cool band like MA performs here - in all honesty I was astounded they were allowed to perform. I was wow, Singapore is maybe getting to be a bit cool. But no, no, the sun has risen, the spell is broken and the actual form of the beast is revealed. And there it stands...