Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

Bird and anemone design Roses Variation on roses I love drawing and i have forgotten how much i love it. and having to do it now as part of work - honestly it is such a delight. One of our assignments is to do Knowledge of the Higher Worlds - to summarise the chapters, and write out the six exercises. We can also decorate the book. I covered my book in a Morris wrapping paper because i could not bear the new agey cover. So in the last lesson i started copying out the design on the back cover and when i began my assignment i thought it could be a Morris themed assignment book. And it now it. The colours are slightly more vibrant, but the magic of seeing something take shape under ones fingers, as if you're not doing it (and you aren't really) will never fade.

I am very very VERY sleepy after the high excitement of the last week. Between Bedford and Crawfordsburn, the school and everything else in between, i feel completely as if i NEED and DESERVE some rest. I suppose the truth is that it isn't just the last week. Its sort of a cumulation of the last six months which has been hatching in me. Working away. And if truth be told, even over the last year, since last July when i went to Harapan and met - well what i met there. Who can tell what the universe brings to us when we surrender to it? Once i had decided to let go, the letting go bit was easy. The decision to do so, not that easy. As i go on, the load, ideally lightens - and oddly it has both lightened and both become more intense. How can i describe the delightedness with which i find myself? A life which has been immeasurably blessed in quantaties of everything, and then to find myself at the threshold of a new dawn, the start of a new beginning, where i really do not know...

It's all i have to bring today - This, and my heart beside - This, and my heart, and all the fields - And all the meadows wide - Be sure you count - should i forget Some one the sum could tell - This, and my heart, and all the bees Which in the clover dwell. - Emily Dickinson

Wagamama-ing, again... Sunshine finally after three days of rain and coldness. Yesterday we just hung out Oisin and myself. It was lovely, i trested him to Wagamama and he was so grown up. I got myself a leather jacker from Oxfam and he told me i looked awful in it. Well not awful, just that it didn't suit me cos i wore bright things and the jacket made me look washed out. It's a compliment really if you think about it mom. I pouted. He is so sweet. He loves sweet things too. He had a coconut dessert in Wagamama and THEN he had Maud's icecream. We got him some new pens and pencils. This is now yours Oisin i said to him. For your manga. Then he said maybe we could buy stuff every Saturday for the manga mom. Which i had to say yes to. I dont know if Oisin would have ever taken to drawing if he was in a mainstream school, but because they draw all day in Steiner, he has had no choice and he has become a really good artist. Yesterday he drew a birdman which he then ti...

Elderflower outside the conservatory window Cant quite believe the amounts of rain we've been getting the past 20 hours. After a relatively beautiful dry week the clouds just opened and burst all over us. I've been organising the notes while the boys watch TV and play Naruto. They haven't done that all week and i guess after running about they just needed their fix. For Oisin this has been a very quite birthday. I can't believe he is 11. As he were reading in bed last night i said to him, Oisin i can't quite believe you are 11. It seems just like yesterday i gave birth to you. So, things are about to change even more now. What a year right. That Uranus knows how to throw a party tell you. I was saying to a friend, you know how i felt six months ago? Like excited and mostly terrified, that's exactly how i feel now. Like the universe saying, well is this not what you wanted? Well here you can have it. Let me know how it goes. Is there anything more terrif...

So this week my son became an Olympian. Really. Every year class five does a whole series of Ancient Mythology as part of the curriculum and because they are in the Golden Age of childhood, they do the Golden Age of Greece... and therefore recreate the Olympics, camping whatever the weather for four days and three nights at Crawfordsburn Country Park and then donning the Greek tunic. Then with a beautiful opening ceremony on Wednesday, the games begin. Oh yes and there is the Greek play that they do as well. So here are some of the highlights. Sports include wrestling, javelin, 'marathon', sprint, relay and discus. Lots of different kinds of jumping.! My favourite part was when one of the boys was jumping well over 1.2 metres and a girl said, He should be in the Olympics. To which another girl retorted, He IS in the Olympics. As of yesterday they were all Olympians. I cannot tell you how proud i am!. To get to Crawfordsburn they walked from the school with their entire fou...

Time for a haircut me thinks. Anyway, its been ages since i did a just thinking about stuff blog. But this is not to say i haven't been thinking about stuff. I have been procrastinating and thinking but i have come to a few conclusions now. I can't really write about them publically but suffice it to say, well i think that things are going to be changing a whole lot. I was talking to this woman whom i never had a conversation with before at the Olympics and she said to me, you are now starting a new seven year cycle and really, you need to think at this age, about doing that builds you as a person, what is going to be most fulfilling. If you do this, you will be taken care of. If you do not, you will end up regreting the rest of your life. And that touched a cord in me. I am 42 now. Am i going to continue to put my life on hold for assholes? Really, i think that is a no brainer of an answer. And when i thought of the kids and where i was and what really made me feel fulfil...

So we celebrated Oisin's birthday before Peter left for Brazil one week early. It was a really awesome night, his words not mine. We went to Kathmandu, the Nepalese place, which serves the best best in Belfast...certainly the best curry, and we brought a cake with us. It was really really fun. We made speeches and got a bit tearful. Cannot believe that it has now been 11 years since Oisin has been here. Truly amazing grateful and appreciative for the previlege of sharing this life with his wonderful being!!! So here are the photys... enjoy! Birthday Boy. We took lots of photos of Oisin... Birthday boy's brother! Brother and mother! I LOVE the expression on Ghin's face! And daddy. Oisin does Usain Bolt I had no idea he needed that many candles