Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

Yesterday's Nice Thing: An offer from a parent for a fundraising concert and walking in the rain with Emma Yesterday I said to Emma, it is like the tide is has now ebbed far far out and now it is starting to turn, it is coming in. It feels like a new beginning, in fact, it is a new beginning in so many ways. The last seven years has been utter devotion and focus on the work I do in school. Trying to do my best, every hour or every day. There have of course been consequences. My impoverished social life. The grey hairs. The aging!!!! But these I have worn proudly, like my stretchmarks, like my battle scars. And now I have the holidays to recover, to think, to write, to dream... to sit by the pool, to be in the warmth and embrace of my family, of my sons, of my friends... of the Old Country. My sons... they save me every single day. Every single day. What would I do without them? Today, I have made a pact with myself. No running until I clean the house. Often I just need to g...

The class Well, it's a wrap. Class Seven is over and done with. I don't know what I'm going to do now... We had a huge send off in the Mournes, the perfect place for the send off. After four days of activities and being with each other, doing all kinds of crazy things... it was time to say goodbye. They will all still be together of course, but well... I won't be there. And some may not even continue the journey as a class. Gift from Tara's mom.... watercolours and a beautiful personalised handmade book. It was all worth it. It has been a week of weirdness. Well, for a start, the parent who was supposed to come didn't come. So Oisin came instead. Oisin, who now qualifies as a responsible adult and helped me with the kids. The most intense mother-son bonding time of all time. The week was always going to be tough. First the nature of the activities would challenge me as I generally didn't go in for this sort of thing, and also, being with my...

Yeah I did see this coming. Off a long way. And yeah I tried to say something. I tried to say it in various ways, but the people who could have made difference weren't interested in listening. They said EITHER nah, don't worry you are just exaggerating things, OR they said, who cares? Nothing is going too happen. Well, now something huge is happening. The lunatics are now in charge of the asylum and the entire planet is in meltdown. Also, rather annoyingly, there wasn't a lot anything could have been done through politics because the system is rigged to ensure that no real change which disadvantages the privileged will take place. I'd like to think that if it really did work, I would have been doing something in government. But I did see up close and personal who ineffectual the entire thing was and that is why I am here. Of course, there is the vexing question of money. But how much money does anyone need right? Do you need lots and lots of money? You need enough t...

Whoa.... so that was the week that was. I crashed big time and just couldn't find it in myself to get any housework done. I was up at 6 am, saying to myself, well I am now going to... ended up watching W1A all over again because it is such sharp writing. Brooklyn 99, W1A and MARVEL Agents of Shield it is... and then Columbo, because all that 80s schlock is so awesome. The red carpets, the deep mahogany, the pelmets and sashs, the big hair and the bigger dresses... the overly thin women, the rampant sexism. It is Detective Opera on a grand scale. Very recently I was thinking to myself about the future. So, here it is. Over the next two weeks, apart from hanging out in the Mournes with my class, here is what I am doing... 1. Organising the classroom 2. Doing a half day retreat with College 3. Investigating the Forest School business - woo-hoo!!!! 4. Meeting with like minded souls for the Forest School thing 5. Organising a venue for an end of year exhibition for my class on...

Yesterday;s Nice Thing: Oisin turned 18 When the list is never ending and you just want to go fuck it. Honestly, just fuck it. I don't really have the time for this nor the energy anymore. So here I am the old dog for the hard road, what will be will be, says I... straight from the play. Anyway, i have been busy all day yesterday and so was Oisin - away with his work and gymnastics and circus school. My darling boy. He didn't want a party he didn't GO to a party. He is not interested in drinking. Later that evening he told me, I can now buy alcohol. And I said, so you can. wow. It is mind blowing that most 18 years olds would spend the night drinking all the alcohol they bought and Oisin just decided to stay home and watch TV with us. Right. Christian Community today and then more report writing till it is all done. Only three more to go now. Then I have to fill in the forms for the trip. It is all madness.

Yesterday's Nice Thing: The play coming together And so it goes... it goes and it goes...

Yesterday's Nice Thing: Having pizza with the boys and just conversations We seldom eat out now anymore. Basically because food is overpriced as Oisin discovered yesterday. When I told him the bill, £41 he was WHAT!!!! We are not eating out anymore. We should just cook at home from now on. Music to my ears. So, there you have it. Oisin is currently trying to set up his own business and is now very interested in money. Yesterday I was explaining fiat to him - the creation of money by fiat - and he instantly said, but isn't that going to lead to inflation? I was astonished. Listen, an 18 year old understands this. And i said, that is EXACTLY how the financial collapse took place in 2007. And it's happening again, right, he said. How come the banks didn't go bust? Well the Lehman Brothers and Northern Rock did - but the governments stepped in a bailed out the banks. You see, Oisin said. People just don't understand money. This is what happens when bean counters end u...

It has been raining now for the past two days. It is awful pretty much. But June can be like this in Northern Ireland. Came back yesterday to the house and got the boys to clean it out. Clean out the place guys. Oisin did organising and hoovering. Ghin did the dishes and helped with the laundry. I folded away the clothes and after that we went to McDonalds and had dinner there. Sometimes that is all you can do. There are two and bit more weeks left to school and it is going to be a wee bit mental. There is the play which will be ready by Wednesday, I know it will. And then there is the classroom to pack and put away. Then there is the trip to organise. Finally today I will have to write four reports because honestly, if I am to make this possible then they have all got to be done by today. Ah well. The past seven years has been ridiculously busy. But you know what I've realised I have another ten years left of proper busyness and well, I need to make the most of it. Water f...

Yesterday's Nice Thing: Rehearsing the play and it coming together. Right I only managed to do one report, but that is the reality of the whole thing. I have only ever managed to do one report in half a day. If you do it really well and properly. I am off to school now to sort out various things. I will be heading home later on today. The boys need me there. I cleaned the house and sorted out the car, so it is all good. And I have been receiving lots of support from people whom I have been in touch with. Oh must email Jonathan and let Gabriel know what's going on. It would be great if the idea of creating a support network finally came to pass. And I think I am going to check out the Vault Artists as well. That's the really cool thing about being almost 50. You just don't sweat the small stuff anymore. And it is ALL small stuff.

End of the year look The entire world is filled with colour and flowers. The gardens are growing well in the school and at home, the plants need replanting out. We are in the throes of rehearsing our play and it is hard graft. We recite lines repeatedly and we are exhausted by the work we put in. I warned the class. It will be rehearsing until our finger nails bleed. I make no apologies for it. If you want to do this play, it means hammering on it until we get it right. And the class are up for it. I am so tired. I come home and I write reports. I have a steak for late lunch. I fall asleep in front of the TV for a bit watching MARVEL Agents of Shield. I don't think the anthrosophists know how much of anthroposophy is in it. It contemplates what it means to be human, it manifests the astral and the ego, it tackles reincarnation and the idea of other worlds on a level which is unguessed at but tremendously fascinating. I have put in a proposal for the Board of Governors...

A long weekend coming Ireland is just ridiculously beautiful. Here is the view between Keel and Keem. And somehow, I have managed to end up living here. We weekend of rainbows and light People always talk about the 'light' on islands. It is absolutely true. Of course having always lived on an island or very near water whether I was in Exeter or Oslo or Derry, even Belfast I just always took for granted the 'light' situation. Sure, of course, the light. Isn't light always like this - but the light in Achill is different. It is a clean light. Coming back into Belfast i could see the murk the dullness in the light. In Achill, the stones are made of quartz and amethyst. The sand in Achill glitters like tiny stars on your boots. It is the most wonderful thing ever. And we got the weather Keem Yes, that would be the Atlantic Ocean Achill has some of the highest cliffs in Europe I did not know that when I climbed them all those years ...

I love maps, I always have Here are several maps of Ireland Just the one we drew Add another map

Yesterday's Nice Thing: Coming home and Oisin had cleaned the house. As the days go by I get more and more tired. I cannot even begin to explain it. Oh I have forgotten to take my supplements. It really does make a difference - so I CANT explain it. I am now almost two weeks without a drink. The last time I had a drink it was a glass of wine in Sakura. That's when I received the news that I ws predabetic. Since then the only sugar I have had has been four gummi bears. That was last night. Apart from that, it has been a tiny bit of fruit juice and two slices of bread in the morning. I noticed the number of times a day I turn down sugar now. In cakes, in sweets, in alcohol. And I don't miss it. I am not a sugar person. I haven't replaced it with crisps either because I have to make sure that I don't go overboard with the carbs. Also the cheese - I did buy myself some cheese this week... But I'm eating more actual fruit. And I'm eating a little less too. ...

Map of Ireland Many things matter, everything matters. The world shifts, relentlessly.