Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

  Still incomplete I was forced to use pastels for this, but it turns out it was a good decision. I struggled with Libra because it was just a set of scales, although scales are so important, especially when juxtaposed with the harvest and Virgo. BUT when I discovered that Rose was the flower of Libra it all fell into place. The scales form a sort of Tau behind the rose, as well as it's stem, and the scales weigh the heart and the feather from Maat who spreads her wings and powers over the sign of Libra. The golden planet is Venus and the words come from Steiner's contemplation of Libra, which seeks the death of the ego. Here the balance is about clarity and decisiveness, divinity and humanity. Being balanced can be the shadow of indecision as we weigh up our thoughts forever. Libra says, take the decision in clarity, which is what balance gives you, being able to judge things evenly, with a heart and with help from the goddess of justice, and then make your decision. The rose ...

Well, Jac is back. Ma gets stronger daily. Every day she breaks a new barrier. Her exercising is progressing beautifully. She has increased her reps ten fold and is now moving at least an hour a day - more actually. She is not just exercising. She's also cooking and washing up. She loves being busy. If I can get her to be 20 or 30% stronger, it may just enable her to breakthrough to a point where she can bring herself to start improving on her own. Everything is very slow and deliberate. Better that than being too hard and then discouraging her.  So, to sum up: 1. Eating well 2. Exercising 3. Emotional connections 4. A willing patient That's probably the most important thing. And I think the thing which has been most surprising about her decline. That she seemed to lose her will - my mother who was so fiery and wonderfully competent suddenly became so accepting of her immobility. It was just shocking. But she seems to have found it and everyday, she gets better and better. Like...

Was kinda trying out this camera's various settings... anyhoo, this is me today. Over the past almost thirty years - like since 1998, when I moved to Ireland - I have learnt a whole lot. For starters, I know that being with the Irish has made me a better person. Irish people, having been fucked over by the English for centuries, have always been on the right side of history - since history began. They have a super ancient connection with the land and a mythology that is so cherished that the monks bothered their arse capturing it on parchment. Because probably, they had such a long history of literacy (even if it is oral), they understood how precious and held it in such deep affection. This tradition continued all the way up to the late 19th century when the Irish Renaissance occurred (I think we can argue we are living through another Irish Renaissance) and writers like Yeats travelld about Ireland taking down the fairytales and thereby preserving them. Irish people are extremely...

Ma has improved daily. Today, for instance, after I brought back the food, she got to cooking the kiam chye teng, making rice and making buah keluak. That was a whole entire hour of doing stuff. And she was brighter and happier and more positive. We laughed and chatted and I cannot tell you how happy I felt seeing her respond to the care and attention which she has received. I said the solution was physio and good food and she said, yes, I agree. It's the positivity which has been something else.  Right. So tonight I'm going to start designing the Libra calendar - I have four more images to go. It gets more and more complicated honestly has it gets higher and higher up the zodiac. I feel relieved that Ma has responded so well to the things I have done for her. I have no doubt that if I hadn't come home she would have seriously deteriorated and then god knows where we will be? But to see her doing cooking and just getting up and fending for herself once more, when it started...

  Well, i did manage to go for my run today. But by way of work, not much has taken place.  However, I have roughly planned my day out... I did start replying to people who sent me messages and whatsapps. I should do birthday messages after this. But roughly, I plan to write, transcribe, run and look after Ma and Pa. Then do admin. All the while in my childhood bedroom. It is a true oasis here. The house is beautiful and quiet. So quiet. You can't QUITE believe it is so quiet. Apart from that i'm just watching the horrors in Gaza and wondering if the first bullet has been fired for the revolution in America. I mean they allow people to print guns, so you know, it's kinda mad. I am not an advocate of violence, but I also agree that if your back is against the wall, and you have tried to make people see sense for years, then the last resort is - well, it is gonna be violence when you have nothing left to lose. For some reason, if it was Mangione, he felt he either had nothing...

Yesterday, for the first time, I was able to do some organising... and it is now the day after... 

  Love how the lens flare did this... Poem I wrote earlier... Christmas 2024 There are no solstices here, No equinoxes, no quarter days, No falling leaves, dropping flowers, No harvest festivals, no planting times. Instead we have this eternal summer; Some days do be wetter than others, Some nights, a cooler breeze sweeps after; The bulbuls, sunbirds and orioles Nest build all year long, In the gardens, hunt scaly lizards And wide-faced frogs. This is the other world I walk in The one which saunters in the Other life of my psyche, Even when I bless the return of the sun I know in this other world it went Nowhere. It did not slacken its course, Never gave up on its stride, It never needed a sacrifice, To cajole it out of hiding: Its tale was that of endless bounty. A kind of paradisical eternity Inhabits the other side of myself. One, which when I walk, Recalls the time this concrete path was once earth and jungle, One that knows, that one day it will Revert to jungle, And then the ...

I guess this will be last part of my update. Well, before the next part... But when I heard that Ma was in a wheelchair and had to use a commode, there was NO question in my mind that I had to go and look after her. I did not know what would happen in the near future and should anything did happen I would at least be there. Ma has since made a great recovery. From being terribly weak and traumatised, she has been able to start doing things for herself. I am also exercising her. When I first arrived, I had to ask myself, should I never have gone overseas? Now this going to be followed by a whole load of cope. For the longest time I did wonder what life would be like if I stayed in Singapore. It was only very very recently, it was clear that by staying the course, instead of coming home, I did manage to self actualise and be in a place which I have been able to give the most and best of myself. I have also stopped drinking - and it isn't even an issue any longer. It will be EXACTLY O...

  It has been quite the year with being a teacher. This year all the birds came home to roost. All the work I put in with the tables and the literacy has come home to roost. The kids took to Fractions like ducks to water. And to writing and reading beautifully as well. I know I'm a great teacher. I'm very grateful that I am able to give of myself so completely to the work which I do. I know that not everyone is so blessed so I feel completely blessed. Right now every aspect of my life is pretty fucking amazing. Apart from the parts which involve genocidal maniacs. Personally it has been an awesome year. So, thank you.

  Guess here be good a place as any. This is Rostrevor. When I tell you I had a life changing experience here, I kid you not. For the first time in years I went on my own journey, supported by another journeyer and it was incredible. Mostly because I received, in that journey, a new heart. It was quite something else. The question was, what did I need to heal and I for the life of my did not know what I needed to heal because I had done all the healing I needed to do. I suppose it was true, because, the most important journey which I did, had me in Kinnego Bay, among the stones, and I was taken into the other realm. There I met Macha's Twins, there is no question it was the two of them, and I was given a new heart. My old heart was taken out, and this new heart, glowing, clean, alight, in a beautiful filigreed lantern was placed in my chest. At once, my hands which had been damaged in Pulau Ubin, were healed and there was no more pain. I want to say it was instantaneous, and it mig...

  In the last days, in the dying embers, of 2024, the world went completely doolally. You'd imagine the people who put themselves in charge of it, would have realised their enormous fuckups and rectify the situation - well for what fuck ups I could possibly be talking about, this blog is a testament to 17 years of bearing witness to the idiocracy - which includes elitely educated people and those who should not be that rich, because no one should ever be that rich. It was the rot which I saw when I started off as a young 20 something. The imbalance of power and where that would lead. There was no self correction involved as everyone wanted to have some kind of spoon in the fucking pot. It has only taken almost thirty years for the shit to hit the fan. From Trump to the murder of the health care CEO, to Gaza and Ukraine, to the slums of the Phillippines and the poverty of the people who live in poverty when there is no need for ANYONE to live in poverty, to the destruction of the pl...

 

There are many many things which I have to  Messing about with the iPhone 

It's not like I haven't written. I have been writing like a maniac. Already the book which I have been doing my short stories is almost halfway book. I write in long hand, with a pen, in tiny ant like scribbles, only legible and then, just barely to myself. The descriptions are true - and this has also helped me with many things. Being more accurate when speaking, being more eloquent, not wanting to drink anymore because it interferes so bad with the writing and the thinking and the piece de resistance, the storytelling. I am becoming a good storyteller. I tell the Norse myths. Using the techniques which Gail taught us, I have managed to remember stories and put them into my own words. The children have become riveted and love story time.... and the mast story I told which was Otter's Ransom, I got a couple of them clapping, cos the story which is already compelling also gripped the imagination. And they instantly knew that it was the inspiration for The Hobbit. Which was p...

This last two weeks has been both amazing and crushing. In all the ways. I was having the best month with writing and the school and all... I was writing everyday with one short story a day with 20 stories now which are amazing. The new moon group has been going great and the teaching has been going fab. And of course my maxim which is enjoy the work because one day it will go to shite. It hasn't quite gone to shite yet, but I have been asked to do something which is really not ideal. And I am really unhappy about this. Since Thursday night i've been trying to get a grip and it hasn't been easy, plus I've lost my phone. It has been mostly shite. I seem to have lost a purchase of my life and it feels like everything is really awful. But of course it isn't really awful. Also everything just feels like it is just mounting in all directions. Nothing serious, but still, it's just day to day nonsense which is just adulting shite. I'm so so so like... what - so I h...

It has been a truly peaceful mid term break. Yesterday the boys were over and we had a lovely feast followed by a session of pumpkin carving where Ghin made and Oisin carved a pumpkin and turnip lantern. One each for good measure. Over the past three days we've cleared the yards - front and back and organised the gardening tools. You have everything to start a landscaping business said Ghin. It's true, I said. I have no excuse to not have a nice garden. I know how to garden and I have every tool I need. I have no excuse to not have a beautiful garden. Apart from being very lazy. But I did the edging in the front garden, cleared the weeds in the yard, the leaves and then we started on the backyard. It felt very satisfying. So much deadwood was cleared. I am utterly happy. My children are now young men. I said to them, it's so nice now since I carved most of the pumpkins myself. They said, Awww... I said yeah cos you'd all l...

Drumming group Goddess card spread Storytelling Storytelling workshop notes Fro yo on a wonderful evening of  too much laughing It's been a very busy September-October and the children have done really well. Fractions is going like the clappers and spelling and reading - the class are eating up the miles. Then there has been the New Moon Goddess Journeying work, the work I've been doing with Kate and Siuban, the storytelling workshop and most of all, the WRITING. I have been writing. Whenever I sit the muse is always there. I broke it with the one day of drinking -  should not have done that. The price paid has been too high. But everytime I sit, the muse is there and I have written now 6 short stories... which is almost a short story a day since I began this. They are all inspired by the goddess and my god, I feel amazing.  So here is the deal... I do the admin for the month. Priorities are the Admin. And I am w...