Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

This is a garden. It starts with a garden. In this story it does, anyway. There is a garden. It is lush and unimaginably beautiful. In it every fruit is borne and every animal roams. Conflict there is none. It is dreamtime, where unity lives untrammeled. Here are two trees - the Tree of Knowledge and the Tree of Life. They grow side by side, equals without betters. Both form the two hemispheres of perfection.  There is nothing. It starts with nothing. In this story it does, anyway. There is nothing and then there is movement - Fire and Ice. The Fire melts the Ice and in the space between, a Cow is born. The Cow licks the ice for no time at all and forever at the same time and creature, a Giant emerges. From the Giant the Earth is born. There are no hemispheres of perfection. There is a dreaming. It starts with a dreaming. In this story it does, anyway. There is a dreaming and from that dreaming a lotus emerges from the belly button of a God. From that belly button of Vishnu, on the...

Holy Night 8 – 2020-21 December 31 – January 1 – Leo: The cross on the sword pommel: the sacrifice. Girded with the sword of the power of Christ, the tongue speaks the truth, without being able to wound. It is the night of re-setting. Mystery: The knight, the fighter with the lance of the will and the sword of knowledge. The dog as symbol of obedience, at his side. Behind him death and the devil! At a certain level of knowledge any false step leads to quicker ruin, and victory is won through fulfilling and being tirelessly true to Leo’s tasks. Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn Eighth Contemplation: Kristina Kaine As we stand on the border of a new year, and look back over the year just passed, we can experience all the events of the past along side the empty future. It is “the night of resetting”. This is a good time to commit ourselves to be “girded with the sword of the power of Christ” which enables us to “speak the truth without being able to wo...

I was thinking more about patterns the entire day. But I am also really tired. I know it is the full moon. I finally cleaned up the table and then sorted out the insurance and Oisin is now working by himself up in the study room.  Tomorrow I will do loads of Forest School stuff. Finally got the car insurance sorted. And I'm seeing Jonathan on Friday to go for a walk. It is such a beautiful time of year and we have had a gorgeous past three days post Storm Bella.  I'm supposed to be doing some reading today.  So tomorrow to wake and write, then run, then Forest School - clear the garage and then do all the updates and websites. And then boys go to Peter's and I'll be home to sleep early, as usual.  Didn't run today - I woke up too late - 6 am and decided to phone Ma before the rest of the day got carried away with me. Mostly hung out with the boys... what did I get done in the afternoon? I slept and then got up and then... the boys made dinner and we watched Zootropo...

The Panicle gathers at the Heart. There the inhabitants prepare themselves. Sangita does not go. She volunteers to put away the Evening Meal and prepare for the Morning one. They are gathered to sing to end Evening Service. It is a night where the stars powder the heavens, each one of them is honed to a single shattering tine.  Sangita knows the story they will sing each night. It is a song she has read now so many many times but never heard. She wondered then, what is this music they sing with? Where does it come from? She may have never heard the song, but she has seen what it sings of too many times. And now, she knows the repetition between the song and what she has been told now. A new race is here. There is a story told so many times that it is worn smooth like beach glass. It is pretty now, but when it was first cast into the trials of time, it was sharp and brought pain. Bitter. It always begins this way, doesn't it, with an expulsion. A rejection. A throwing out and beyond...

 An End at the Beginning Forgive, forgive, forgive these poor rough words. Even from the thinking to the speaking, they are sunk into the heavy sluggish esse of tar. They will never be fit for this purpose. Forgive, forgive how they must never convey the light and glory and the possibility that would once have been Atlantis. ----------------------------------------- For it is related in our records how once upon a time your State stayed the course of a mighty host, which, starting from a distant point in the Atlantic ocean, was insolently advancing to attack the whole of Europe, and Asia to boot. For the ocean there was at that time navigable; for in front of the mouth which you Greeks call, as you say, 'the pillars of Heracles,' there lay an island which was larger than Libya and Asia together; and it was possible for the travelers of that time to cross from it to the other islands, and from the islands to the whole of the continent over against them which encompasses that ver...

Holy Night 7 – 2020 December 30-31 – Cancer: SURRENDER: TRUSTING THE HIGHEST SELF The serpent on the sword pommel: wisdom. We should busy ourselves with uplifting readings. It is the night of the great command. The mystery of activity: who exercises command over our soul? Who is the master of our soul, the doer of our deeds? We have the freedom to strengthen the goodwill in ourselves. Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn Translation from German by Laura Zanutto 2015 adjusted by Mark Willan 2016 Who is the master of our soul? A question we can ask ourselves each day. The answer will depend on what the day presents to us. Our ultimate goal is for Christ to be the master of our soul, Rudolf Steiner says, “We must let his love become a real being in us.” Continuing with the words Rudolf Steiner spoke to his Esoteric Class students on September 24, 1907: “So that we could become aware of our self, our spirit, so that we could become spirit-beings ourself, t...

In the beginning...  (I was thinking about how the idea of a year was a strange one. We have no idea of a year on the equator. All the days are the same. All fruit and flowers come out... there are seasons marks by the flowering of fruit - certain kinds of fruit - but apart from that... there are no seasons as such. To say that the universe is 4 billion years old is such a strange idea. The universe itself has no concept of time. It just exists, that's all why do we need to know how old the place is? It is so crazy. What is this obsession with how many years things exist? It's really not important.) There is no beginning. Nothing comes before and after. Who can say? We cannot go into the past and yet so many of us still inhabit it. They refuse to say how long ago it was. They say it does not matter. So they gave us this glimpse, to let us know. To let us see, because we could ask this question: what came before? If there was a beginning, say there was a beginning... infinitudes...

Holy Night 6 – 2020 December 29-30 – Gemini: UNITY: LIVING WITH THE COURAGE OF OUR CONVICTIONS (AS ABOVE, SO BELOW) Now follow the three nights of the sword. Peter’s night. Night of the consecration of the sword. Each of us must forge his or her own sword of discernment. Each of us must unite our spiritual will with the eternal, the immortal, and the perishable, and in this way we shall recognize the truth. Mystery: Bring together the Son of God with the Son of Man – Unity. Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn Translation from German by Laura Zanutto 2015 adjusted by Mark Willan 2016 I love this painting. It is called the Guardians of the Nativity. In the Tarot cards, the Sword is the card which brings sorrow. This is because consciousness brings sorrow - being aware of things - because when we are aware we suffer. Knowledge is suffering. Ignorance is bliss. But the paradox is that only through suffering can we redeem ourselves. It is only when we brin...

So I'm planning now for the next hour. For the rest of the year, sort of. I have taken my planning file and will start to go through it. I know exactly what I want to do as well. So it's fairly straightforward. Right. Everything is supposed to contribute to my well being and sanity. I also have a little chart I'm going to make pretty with the 12 Holy Nights and the different qualities and how they translate in day to day life Writing: Daily Piano: Daily Drawing: Twice a week Exercise: Daily Diet: Daily, new dish once a month 13 Moons: Monthly Boys: Always Family: Daily Friends: As much as it takes House: Daily Garden: Daily Admin: M, W, F Divorce: T, T School: Daily Forest School: Daily - Marketing and PR - Develop and carry out courses - Learn new bush craft skills Reading and Books - Organise book collection: Weekly - Read new books every month Knitting - Finish six pairs of socks this year

As I was running yesterday, I thought of more ritual before Sangita began the communcation. She would have a bath which would be running beside her and be able to contemplate things more...also I have decided to write in the present tense - inspired by Margaret Atwood. So here, somewhere, would be this. Sangita arrives at the Room of the Archangels. Within is contained the Chamber. She takes a deep breath. All around her the skies swim, it is the highest point in Atlantis, save for the mountains in the far north. She places her hand on the Chamber's perfect crystalline surface. It is chilling but clear, ice frozen in time. It is no small task to encounter the Archangels and to be so unprepared. But Cerima must be concerned enough to direct her to this. She pulls the drapes to uncover the ceiling and then uses a long pole to draw each pane back. There must be no barrier between the Chamber and the stars if she is to travel. The last time she did this it seemed like no time at all an...

I have learned to love both the ascent and descent of the Sun. Each has its place in our life and culture. As I think about running later on, the delight that the light returns fills me with anticipation. And when I think of running in the dark, I am filled with a sense of achievement.  Well it is time for the writing. I always approach it with a sense of trepidation and fear, like a blackboard drawing. Worries that I won't be able to do it this time. But then I sit and write or draw and it happens. It is quite wonderful. So everyday, one piece of writing. It has taken long enough now... then after that the run, the breakfast, the garage, the insurance and then the planning last of all... oh yes, in between that Christian Community service. THEN Forest School planning. It is once again, a pleasantly busy day. Best to get started now. Can't believe it is already 7.15 am.

Holy Night 5 for May December 28-29 – Taurus Consciously purify the body of thought: EQUANIMITY - HAVE FAITH Discipline thinking. Concentrating on the positive. Converting the black doves of thought into white doves, because our thinking is, until it is not consciously conducted with discipline, like a dovecote! Keep this dovecote closed against foreign, negative thoughts. Mystery: The purification of the temple by Jesus Christ. “When we experience symbols it’s the ones that make us suffer that are genuine and from the spiritual world, and not the ones that give us joy. We must carry them around with us until we’ve grasped their meaning. The spiritual from them must be born in us while we suffer.” Rudolf Steiner From the Contents of the Esoteric Classes 5th November, 1910 Yesterday was a day of wonderful peace and rest. The past two days have been. I haven't been idle, but instead have attempted to bring order back to the house. Much cleaning and tidying were done and more writing....

Twelve days of intention and introspection. 12 days of relief and silence. Reprieve. Delight. 12 days of organisation and contemplation. Of discerning possibilities. Of planning. 12 days. So that's what I have been doing since the 24th and it is the best way to spend Christmas. I know that people feel compelled to go out and visit friends and spend time, etc but I am literally happiest on my own. It is such a relief from the daily expectations which surround me. To sleep when I want. Today I cleared most places, except the garage and I did not do planning. So that is what I will do tomorrow. In the morning when I get up I will write. This time I will try to write for an hour and a half for Atlantis and then I will go for my run. After that planning, call the insurance people and then plan. And then I'll go and visit Anthony and Ruth in Bangor to give them their Christmas presents. The boys will be here tomorrow which means the hub bub will begin again. And that's also nice....

Well I went out and ran this morning. At 7.40 am, it began snowing. It felt real and wonderful. The most difficult part was getting my gear on. The fear that I will never fit into it - but I did. That was the hardest bit. After that the running was just running. I can just more or less run - or jog - if I want to, even on hills, I'm ok. It is the putting on the gear. Then I sorted out the games room and ordered the study room. Once again, unearthing treasures to use for the rest of the year. Chutney, soap, incense, books, dairies and more. Cards, so many cards. I got rid of pieces of irrelevant paper but no doubt will do more over the course of the day. So now the only place left - places left - are the coat cupboard and garage. The garage is in constant need to organisation. It is just one of those places. I'm listening to Chris Hedges give a talk about the Politics of Despair. It is just heartbreaking to listen to him. He speaks so much sense. It is only 11 am and I've do...

It is very exciting. I am making good progress, slow but steady progress on the Atlantis story. I don't know how it is happening, but it is happening. I have made more progress in the last month - three weeks - than I have ever made in my entire life. I now have five installments of the Atlantis Sketches and seven stories. That's 12 stories which is more than I have written in my entire life. One day at a time. One step at a time.  The story weaves itself too. Perhaps I have been planning it for a long time, but there is also not a lot of planning. Just one scene unfolding after another. The Magical Objects just come. The names come. The faces come. The places come. They just come. They write themselves. It is uncanny, an uncanny pleasure. A tingling fear too. My first draft is slowly taking shape. I think that it will take about two or three months of solid everyday writing to complete it. There is utter pleasure in the process, development of watching this world which I had a...

'I truly resent the suggestion that we use our abilities to serve ourselves, -' began Cerima. 'Cerima, we need to consider -' interrupted Aminata. Cerima would not be stopped. '- Throughout time Scryers have never NEVER used their abilities for any gain - not even our own. And YOU of all people should know why.' 'Yes, yes. What can be used for our own good can also be used for ill.' 'Yes. It is the descent and the descent is always, always easy,' concluded Cerima.  There was silence. 'So you would have had Valhon die?' asked Aminata. 'I cannot believe I am hearing this from you!' If Cerima spoke she would have been shouting. 'There is not death, no death! We all return to the cosmos. We go back to the Records. We bring what we have learned there. Valhon knows this - his role, all our roles are about serving the cosmos. If we started serving ourselves where would it end?' Aminata looked out over the Plain of Lights. The sun...

 Holy Night 4 – 2020 December 27-28 – Aries: BE PRESENT - CULTIVATION OF THE WILL Consciously purify the astral body: antipathy and sympathy are converted into universal love. Passions and desires keep silent. The power of Christ penetrates with his light and his strength what is Luciferic in us. Mystery: The work on ourselves serves the best interests of the whole. The Archangel Uriel holds up a mirror in which we see ourselves as we are. Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn How will my love manifest itself this year? Yesterday I said it was about looking after myself so that I can look after others. It has been a tough year past, there is no doubt. However, time the great healer is doing her magic. I have always wanted to be a better friend. I think this year I tried to do that. Be there more for people. But I could be so much better. So I will do that. My resolution to be there more for people. Over the past few months my need to be angry has al...

The Vimanas, soon to be lost to posterity, were not so much ships as living suits. They were 'flown' by using the power of astrality. They are but one of the Four Bodies which every human being has. The others being the physical, etheric, and spiritual. The Channellers worked the land and with plants using their etheric or life force. They would come to be known as chi by the Chinese thousands of year later. The Etheric Body enabled plants to grown and flourish. By using their own Etheric Bodies, the Channellers were able to direct the Earth's own powerful Etheric to harness the plants. The Astral Body was used for anything which require movement. It also was the seat of feelings and emotions. Only those who were able to master their own Astral Bodies would be able to operate vehicles. Those who had complete mastery were given the honour of flying the Vimanas. Described as moving mountain peaks they were linked to the captain's consciousness. Because only one person had...

So the final, final entry for today.... well, I am going to do some writing - bout Atlantis - and then I will clean the house. Then I will have a nap, wake up and go for a run and then do some planning. I think that is the order in which it will happen.  And then I'm going to take it easy. It is a full day. I did hope I would maybe take a drive out but nah, it's good. Also it is a coldish, greyish day. Thank you life for being such a wonderously peaceful one. 

Third Holy Night December 26-27 - Pisces: DAILY MIRACLES - CONTENTMENT Now follow the 3 nights of the white lily. The soul recognizes that it cannot stay above but must come down again because in it, it possesses too much earthly weight. The conscious mind begins to purify the earthly body and assumes that each food is as a viaticum (provision for a journey). I am the bread (words of Christ Jesus). We come from the bread, we live in the path of development of the bread and return to the bread. The Mystery: Never forget the accomplishment of the distant objectives of leaving the earthly realm. ------------------------------------------------------ It is strange being so connected to these Western mysteries. I have so little attraction to the Eastern part of myself. It is almost as if it is a shell within which the stories from the rest of the world may inhabit.  Never forget the accomplishment of the distant objectives of leaving the earthly realm... All my life I have been drawn an...

Second Holy Night December 25-26 - Aquarius: SELF CARE - KINDNESS TO ALL, ESPECIALLY THE SELF Night of John. The Eagle of the soul circling high on its wings and looking back from a great height, observes its own life. And now the man recognizes the Laws of Karma. The Mystery: Choosing the narrow and difficult path or the path that is wide and easy. For those who are born of flesh it is hard to find the path of the spirit. Bhagavad Gita: A selfish life, or a life devoted to humanity? ------------------------------------------ Is must be the middle path - one cannot do one without sacrificing the other. So I have always done both. Interestingly the most selfish people are the ones who claim to devote their lives to humanity only. How many assholes have I met who just operate from ego. They talk the talk but when it comes to actually putting that into practise in real life, well, it is not great. But I will not dwell on that. Instead of judging them, I will learn from them. It is more ef...

First Holy Night December 24-25 - Capricorn: LIVE IN THE NOW - PLAN Christmas Eve, when Christ is born in the soul. The soul asks: Can I, with all my weaknesses, deficiencies and passions, be heard? Symbol: The stable of Bethlehem, where the Light of the World is born in humility and poverty. The Voice of Silence penetrates the soul and teaches to joyfully affirm the good in us and in others. Capricorn. The Divine Spirit is born in Matter. Spirit and Matter, the Alpha and Omega touch and life comes into being. Mystery: The seeking soul in the darkness of a pathless forest. We celebrated Christmas on the 24th. It was me cooking LOADS, again, and then the boys laughing and opening presents. I went to bed super early. It was a beautiful evening.  The seeking soul in the darkness of a pathless forest.  What is there to be said about this. We all must go on this journey. It is the first step in the Parsifal saga. A dark wood with no experience, or memory of that experience. We step...

On December 24th the 12 holy nights begin. The 12 holy nights are symbols for the 12 forces of the soul that live in us. And so this indication is valid forever, not only for the 12 holy nights. On January 1 at noon we have the Sun as close as possible to the Earth and that is why there are just five and half days before and five and a half days later, which is the time of the 12 holy nights. On these nights, the darkest of the year, we are closest to the Sun's Spirit and this means that the Spiritual Sun shining from inside the Earth makes it translucent and illuminates everything from the inside, not as it is afterwards when the Sun illuminates the Earth from above, from the outside. You have to enter these 12 holy nights wide awake and very conscious. It is important that the first night (Dec. 24th) we only stay awake until one or two in the morning. On the other nights, if possible, try to go to bed regularly at the same time, it is of principal importance to live in a regular ...