Posts

17.6.26 - 164 - -59: The art of the easy day

-
Instead of beating myself up, I will just congratulate myself on being able to be in charge of my own time. Congratulations. You have found the ability to take on a sabbatical and enjoy it. You deserve it. I deserve it.  After decades long struggle on my own, having literally done everything on my own from basic things like daily chores, raising my own children, working in demanding full-time jobs, all without the help of a reliable partner, in fact it was the opposite, having had a full creative life, playing a meaningful part in community, always working in jobs which have meant something, giving my sons the roots and the confidence and the childhood and moving to a completely different country, in a recovering war zone, creating a community around me AND having gone through a divorce - I think I owe it to myself to be able to take a beat when my father has passed away. And these days will be spent without any guilt because right now I am looking after my mother and taking time f...
Post a Comment
Read more

17.6.26 - 163 - -59: An easy day

-
Just went for my run. Today is going to be an easy does it day.  I thank my luck that I am able to take the time to take the time. Not many have the luxury.  So I will make the most of it. The most of it. Today, I will organise things and then I will do things. It is a simple thing.  I know what needs to be done. I do. And yet... I just can't find it in myself to do any of it. But it has to be done. Organise and then do the most difficult things first. Payment and finance. Oh I also need to write Eile's literacy and numeracy. I will not blame myself for the things which I haven't done. It's not useful. I will be positive and say I shall do it now. It is never too late. It is FINE.
Post a Comment
Read more

17.6.26 - 162 - -59: Dusting it off

-
Truth be told, I have been a little bit miserable. BUT there is nothing to be miserable about. It is utterly self inflicted. Still though, I'd like to look back over the past few months. March: Month 1 was awful with Pa's passing.     I discovered death and how much I couldn't go there - the lands of regret and had to remember all the time what Pa would have said. April: Month 2 was awful cos I injured my hand.     I cut my hand and discovered walking     This was a really awful month. The longest month of my long life. May: Month 3 was better because I was able to run and swim again. And we got shit done.     I started driving and we went to shopping centres     I started running and swimming daily. This was when my fitness began again      June: I am only in the middle of month 4.       Yet it feels like a lifetime has passed. And also no time at all. I am not going to get upset at nothing being done ...
Post a Comment
Read more

17.6.26 - 161 - -59: The Mines

-
On Monday and Tuesday, I went to see how the DSA prep was done. The DSA is a process by which students can try to gain entry to a school so that they do not need to do O levels. They can either do the IB or the A levels. These schools, I that there are 14 or so, tend to be school with academic track records. Schools which the MOE believe have students who would have gone on to do pre university education and not stopped at O levels. These kids tend to be from backgrounds which have families who are supportive about education and believe in the importance of education. It has to be said though that this belief is no one which is shared by this current Gen Z and Gen Alpha students. University, within a single generation, from being universally thought of as a good thing and very affordable, has gone on to become a albatross around everyone's necks, including the necks of the people who teach there. Since the days of David Lodge, college life has started to lose its shine, but now it ...
Post a Comment
Read more

14.6.26 - 160 - -62: Strewth

-
There is no point complaining about Singapore and a million things that can annoy you. And do annoy you. So I am not going to, but it is a strange place where multiple payment systems have made life very difficult indeed.  Ghin made a short stop over at Changi Airport. It was a joy to see him again. To hug him and be in his presence. To talk and laugh and and be together as all three again. A joy. It was a joy which I hadn't felt in months. And will likely feel less and less as time goes by. So I always remind myself that I spent as much time as I could with them when they were younger so that when they grew up I would be able to live with the treasure which I had stored up.  It would be enough. And it is. So anything else is a bonus. Changi Airport is looking and feeling a bit tired I have to say. Having spent four hours there and seen every aspect of the airport I have discovered that the so call Jewel does not seem to connected by way of signage to any other part of the air...
Post a Comment
Read more

12.6.26 - 159 - -64: Things

-
It was busy yesterday. After the run we went to the market, where it rained very heavily. Having warned us about extreme heat we have had a lovely week of only one or two days of awfully hot sun. But it stayed cloudy all day. So that's good. I can't tell you how I feel because I feel, especially at the start of this week, I felt all over the place. I felt really unaccountably tired as well. I think well...it's not just Pa, it's so many other things right? I have kicked all my support networks away and I feel utterly alone. This weekend, starting today, I will start with the admin and forgive myself. Forgive myself for everything. I think the best way to honour Pa and to heal is to just get back into things. That's the best thing I can do. So, today I will tidy up the toys and send some things to Jac's KG for use. That's the front room stuff. BUT i am not going to feel sorry for myself.  It will all be ok. It will be fine. So this afternoon, after we get Mas ...
Post a Comment
Read more

12.6.26 - 158 - -64: Stuck and exercising

-
Fitness update This is the only thing which I am doing with any success. I have now settled into this rhythm: Run with extended stretching: Sat and Sun Swim: Mon Run and Swim: Tues, Wed, Thurs Swim: Fri Yes, why so complicated? I only RUN on Sat and Sun because the pool is insane. I will make up for this with more stretching which anyone can do a little more of. I am now doing 100 sit ups as part of this. I won't extend the SU as I was told this was not a good idea for my back. but I AM going to do more gentle stretches, possibly for 20 minutes. In the park, not the gym. I RUN AND SWIM AND STRETCH on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays because I am not running on Mondays and Fridays. This is because I need to let my knees, etc recover. So that's the highest exercise day I have.  The SWIM ONLY takes place on Mondays and Fridays - this is because I don't run and I'm not swimming on Saturday and Sundays. So, that's a great routine to have for the rest of the year. Once...
Post a Comment
Read more