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318 - 3.9.26 - 3: Fire fire

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Met with Anthony yesterday. We talked for two hours and it felt like no time had passed by. We share our journeys. I think the last time I saw him was more than a year ago. He looked great, as usual. We trade stories about parents and deaths. We chatted about ex colleagues and medical issues. We reminisced and wondered what would happen to this world. Both safe in the knowledge that we had, indeed, tried our best. We talked about our children. Oisin was 6 months old when I joined the RSPB. Anthony told me that his daughter was almost 40. I was in disbelief. I knew these children as, well, children. While we talked, there was a fire and it turned out that it was a fire at the scrapyard of the harbour. It was nuts really. Apparently there was another fire there in May of this year. Ghin cleaned the toilet and started with the garage. I tried gardening, but it began raining. I am tired all the time. This year has been a tiring year. I have only run four times since...
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317 - 2.9.26 - 17: things I ranted about today on social media

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  trees have hollows inside them. their live part is outside. there does not seem to be any rot around or inside the tree which would weaken it. the exterior is protected by the waterproof bark and the bit of the tree which is carried food and nutrients is the area of the trunk directly behind the bark. if the tree isn't rotting then it is not dangerous. it is clear that the person who is in charge of trees in singapore doesn't know anything about them because they have all been pruned so that they get more and more more unstable as the years go by. The tree height should have been capped by pruning the topmost branches and the branches and the trees should have been pruned so that they gave maximum coverage. But the person who decided how the trees are looked after has just told the contracters who aren't trained tree surgeons to just do whatever they want. as a result the trees have grown too high for cutting and become top heavy resulting in falling hazards. i mean can s...
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316 - 1.9.26 - 16: Farewell to childhood

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I now have 2 grown up sons. I did more or less raise them on my own. As most mothers do. When I say on my own, I mean that when they came along, despite being highly educated and having jobs I loved, I had to make a choice: myself or my child. Really. I had to make a decision. And the litmus test for me always was, say, when my sons are now independent and decide to do things which are truly horrible, will I be able to look at myself in the mirror and say, actually, you know what, I did do my best. Given the information at the time and the resources I had, I did do my best. Of course I will love them till the end of time, no matter how horrible they are, but in the end, I do not want to look back and be filled with the 'I shouldas'. Does Lawrence Wong know the amount of literal SACRIFICE that takes? Does he? A sacrifice which if you do not have a husband nor significant other who is ...
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315 - 31.8.26 - 15: Spiderwebs and Cat Hair

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Before I left for Singapore in July, I did several things to make my return easier. I said that Gary could only go into my room. He would only have dry food which made life a lot easier for the fly carnage. I closed the rest of the house, lie closed doors and windows and blinds. In the future I will put down a cloth on the staircase and the front door - to stop the car hairs from accumulating.  In any case, despite all these efforts, the spiderwebs and cat hairs were EVERYWHERE. It took me almost 2 hours to hoover the house and sort it all out. I was so tired at the end of it.  So I went out and got something to eat and then watched lots of TV> I rewatched Inception  and immediately realised the premise of the film - his not being able to see his children was actually dreamlike. I mean it is stupid. It's a film right? But that thing in a dream when you try as much as you can and you can't do the thing which you want to do - which is he seeing his children. I think they...
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314 - 30.8.26 - 14: Rainforest Ireland

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The Twisted Willow we rescued all those years ago... it was a twig that was dying The veg garden I cleared the entire pond area - it was covered in mimosa and comfrey... and it was several wheelbarrow loads More of the veg garden Bench Kevin made with my class Gary asking for food Me yesterday The biggest thing I did yesterday was keep my end of the bargain and clear up the pond area in the garden. It took me almost two hours and it was done. I could tell it wasn't cleared for at least three years and had gone completely out of control. Anyway, lots of stretching and squatting and sawing - I was utterly sweating by the time it was over. Even in just my T-shirt. No one can tell me that gardening is not about fitness and cardio. I think that if I hadn't been in the best shape of my life for a while, I would certainly not have had the stamina to have completed the entire area.  I went home and then...
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313 - 29.8.2026 - 13: The Wonder of You

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Yesterday and today I experienced the healing journey of time travel. For years and years I had carried a wound which was so painful that I didn't even know it was there and yesterday it was released. What is that? I think when the unknown is resolved, the thing which was leaking all through the years is put in context and then - it no longer holds the power to exert its hold over you. I must think about it a bit more.  Everything is over now. It is over. It is over and it is also forever. 
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313 - 29.8.26 - 13: Time with friends

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Scrabo Tower Jet lag is now defeated. For the fifth time this year. As I said yesterday it has been exhausting. But it is also so nice meeting up with people and seeing how much of a life which has been covered over these years. Yesterday was Janet and Liz. I walked with Janet around Cairn Woods and then we had lunch at McKees. Both places so much a part of my life on the Ards Peninsula. Cairn Woods I did Forest School and McKees so many lunches and shopping. Steaks, vegetables, lemon meringue, tartlets, etc. It has been magical. Yes, the place is fraught with so much history, but which place isn't?  Janet - I had known since 2002 - when Oisin was 6 months old - meant that we had lots to catch up about. Our own life journeys, people we knew and what had happened to them. I said that Kevin and I had met up and jokingly we said that we were the greatest generation in the RSPB here. She agreed and said we were all committed in doing things that we loved. I said...
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