Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

So lucky to have worked here I went running yesterday at Belvoir Park forest. As I drove there a strong sense of sorrow overcame me as i thought of all the years i spent driving up and down that motorway which in essence hasn't changed at all. It is still the same. Protected from the madness of having too much money, Belfast is looking better - but - well let's just say it has aged as it should and not looks like some jumped up aging asshole with hair plugs and botox. That is what Singapore is effectively.  Anyway, I went running along the tow path. The sun shone and the water glimmered. Everywhere the celebration of Lunasa was rejoicing. I ran and remembered so much. So much. I did my stretches beneath the copper beeches. I thought of the many lunches I had out in the sun when it did shine. I thought of the walks I had taken and the hands which were held. The boys and the birds and the scent of Himalayan balsam at this time of th...

There is a reason I left Singapore. It is a police state. It is a police state high on its own Kool Aid. It believes that it is the tippy toppy toppiest part of the pyramid and that it is so clever. The people who run it have been told they are so clever all their lives. To make things very bad, it also suffers from the Asian deferential disease. So people who think they are clever can have great ideas and no one will tell them it is stupid. Also many people do not have the best interests of the people of Singapore in mind. They mind the GDP and the economy and the pockets of the people who stand to make lots of money in destruction and construction, but that is it. They are not interested in off ramping the place, creating a real culture, cultivating a voice which is unique and our own. Everything is churned out crap. It's so embarrassing.  Anyhow, their latest madness is the developing the Southern Islands so that they become the Western Island. I don't understand how the geo...

I have another 15 minutes here. So I'll just do some washing up in the kitchen... Then I'll head out... Listening to a talk on youtube about how Christ as blood sacrifice was all made up by Saul of Tarsus. Actually today, while I was at the service I wondered what would it have been like if we rewrote Jesus as a woman instead of a man? Would it be different? I have no more sense of time. None whatsoever. So weird and strange and still. It is only 6 pm. It is as if everything has become detached. I have read with some frustration that Singapore is going to destroy even more of its nature. I HATE the Singaporean Government. They are crass and shallow and pathetic. There is no depth in the way they think. They do not value the intrinsic beauty of life. Actual humanity. There is actually nothing which tells me that they understand what the future is bringing. I don't know what to do really.  Right.  I have 17 days here. In those 17 days I will need to make sure that I am lookin...

Virgo Returned on Thursday evening and spent the last two days recovering. It has been tough being away from the boys and MA but such a relief to no longer be in Singapore which is properly awful now. I mean it's really awful. Give me the silence and the coolness and relief of Ireland any day. Not to mention the history and literature and beauty and the lovely people.  I'm going to serve at mass today. I've been up since 1 am. I am still bounding between wakefullness and sleep. I am really not doing well. But I should get my finger out and start doing stuff today. I have one week to prep for the start of term, which is next Tuesday. I've jumpstarted the machine after two and a half days of languishing about. I miss the pool, that's about the only thing which i miss about Singapore. What is Singapore like? It is imcredibly materialistic and people are so hard. I have noticed that Chinese Singaporeans are really difficult people. They seem to be so discontented with l...

You never know how long it is going to take you and when you are in the middle of it, that middle seems like it is forever. But with unconditional love and warmth, and the passing of time, shoots regrow and new life begins. Once more the sun rises - it also rises - and we live to enter a new day. For the longest time it is just the one foot before the other. Just the sheet determination and will of doing that. Then, one day, you wake up and the world has rearranged itself into a different shape. A different place. One day, you see you are still alive and the person who you thought was gone, will always be there with you. Just in another way. In a way whereby they will always be there when you need to ask for help. They are now your own personal angel. And then you realise that they have always been your own personal angel and you know, with hindsight, how lucky you were. How lucky you have been.  I cannot think of my life as any other thing than ...

Photos from first day of the seventh month when we went to visit Lianne in Chinatown I did my run and swim today - I also went to get Ma's pillow from AMK Hub. After the swim, while resting against the pool, I thought to myself, this brings us to the end of this phase. It seems like we had made it out of such a difficult time. I also thought, everyone played their part. We all came together as a family and we held each other. Ma of course is trying her very best, but she was the one who needed most support. Being here I gave her that space to heal, and the boys being here supported me. Jac was right alongside me - juggling work and family, and this truly difficult time. But we made it together. Crying and laughing and holding hands to bring ourselves through to the other side. A side which must live without Pa now and trying to create a new chapter in our lives.  That is the new side. The new us.  Broken and put together again. P...