Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

It has been a truly peaceful mid term break. Yesterday the boys were over and we had a lovely feast followed by a session of pumpkin carving where Ghin made and Oisin carved a pumpkin and turnip lantern. One each for good measure. Over the past three days we've cleared the yards - front and back and organised the gardening tools. You have everything to start a landscaping business said Ghin. It's true, I said. I have no excuse to not have a nice garden. I know how to garden and I have every tool I need. I have no excuse to not have a beautiful garden. Apart from being very lazy. But I did the edging in the front garden, cleared the weeds in the yard, the leaves and then we started on the backyard. It felt very satisfying. So much deadwood was cleared. I am utterly happy. My children are now young men. I said to them, it's so nice now since I carved most of the pumpkins myself. They said, Awww... I said yeah cos you'd all l...

Drumming group Goddess card spread Storytelling Storytelling workshop notes Fro yo on a wonderful evening of  too much laughing It's been a very busy September-October and the children have done really well. Fractions is going like the clappers and spelling and reading - the class are eating up the miles. Then there has been the New Moon Goddess Journeying work, the work I've been doing with Kate and Siuban, the storytelling workshop and most of all, the WRITING. I have been writing. Whenever I sit the muse is always there. I broke it with the one day of drinking -  should not have done that. The price paid has been too high. But everytime I sit, the muse is there and I have written now 6 short stories... which is almost a short story a day since I began this. They are all inspired by the goddess and my god, I feel amazing.  So here is the deal... I do the admin for the month. Priorities are the Admin. And I am w...

  Ireland has so many goddess for childbirth and a deep devotion and respect for the body of the woman and the life it is able to sustain and bring to bear. We are tremendously lucky in that this land and the people still retain this knowledge and feeling and we are able to return to it, embers and sparks, and once more blow it's flame and power into strength. The genitalia of women is something which women themselves have always been embarrassed about. It either has to be hidden or regarded with so much of secrecy that it is only every seen in pornographic contexts.  However, in the past people were less squeamish and in Ireland there is a revival of the Sheela. To me the Sheela in Sheela na gig is a reference to the Sidhe - the hidden ones... la I know in Irish means every - and na is the plural when you use 'the' so what is gig. The Hidden Ones? It is a reference to the other world...

 The beautiful terrible Sphinx. Another woman and beast combination. It has wings, the body of a lion (the reference to Inanna and the lion, and the serpent tail - again, with the serpent. The power and the pitilessness of the Sphinx is familiar to any woman - and maybe man - who operates from their greatest seat of power. You are the sphinx and you also are the challenger. The only person who is problem is YOU. She evokes Eshkrigal, the sister of Inanna hidden in the depths of the underworld and once again, her symbolism is clear - the greatest challenge you will meet is you. Own yourself and be responsible for what you can be responsible for. Come face to face with your shadow and discover that actually, there is nothing to fear in the first place. It's an incredibly powerful metaphor.

  Well you learn something new everyday. Fucking goddamned Airticity - it turns out I have been REALLY paying over the odds for my fucking electricity. These people are a total joke. Anyway. They made me go on prepaid - the story is soooo long - and I was worried about how expensive it would be. It turns out it will prbably not cost me more than £100 a month. Serious. Not more than that. It turns out I am probably spending like £2 of electricity a day. So I have been paying over the fucking odds. It's a total JOKE. I don't care anymore. I was astonished to see that after me being here for like 12 hours, I had managed to spend a £1. So well I'm not in during the day time. They are all jokers. They are all idiots. Well I quite LIKE being on prepaid because GUESS WHAT??? I'm going to turn off everything in the house including the Wifi and my electricity comsumption will be JUST the fridge. So thank you fucking Airtricity. They are truly goddamned idiots. If you are living ...

Yesterday was a good day. Yesterday a child had made a breakthrough with maths this week and sustained it. I was profoundly touched. There are loads of breakthroughs taking place every day with that class. I have managed to rectify most of my mistakes - the mistakes I made with my classes in the past. They are making great strides. Then Oisin came home yesterday. Always nice having him here. He seemed a lot less highly strung. Having seen Michaela was good. He is so lucky - they are so lucky. It's quite magical.  October is almost over. I have been doing the meditations this week and they have very much sustained me. I have been feeling very grounded. Yesterday, for the first time, I picked up the Writing Fiction book and began writing again. I did a free writing exercise and it was about being a liar. It was a good start. I played my piano for 20 minutes. Small starts. I did this blog. I have been doing lesson prep in the evening. I ...

During today's meditation I found the child who experienced all the anger and the scolding which took place when I was a child. Truth is I do not know how much scolding I did receive, but it must have been enough for me to feel fear. The fear of being scolded and being made to feel responsible for mistakes which I made which were even accidents. I know that this was very normal. My sons did not grow up with that. I did do the riot act like twice a year if something was too much, but they never experienced the constant berating which took place. It felt constant.  But today I released that. I said, I see you now and I consciously let it go. It was powerful. Well that's another thing, these vague words to express plenitude will no longer do. They will have to go. Not drinking is just the start of it. After the weekend in Rostrevor, I began to use the heart energy to heal my wrist. It feels like its getting better. There are good days and bad days. It doesn...

Changing woman is the Goddess who walks with me today. She is the Earth itself. She is Gaia. How comes it and through the ages the Earth and the entire skies were always seen as sacred and full of strength and wonder beyond our comprehension - and now it is reduced to this resource which can be used and abused. The rape of the planet has gone hand in hand with the degradation and devaluing of the sacred. It is time to reclaim that language and sensibility. I have been walking - since we began this work with the land - ever closer with the land - lands. They sustain me. I am in wonder with the world every day, a little bit more. Through the work which I have done, I have encountered skeptics, no one bigger than myself. Even though I know now that this sense of being, this sense of connection, is the most real thing which I have ever had and which I have always had. Now that I have been able to step away from the madness, the day to day to day of life, I am now able to return to the voic...

Before I begin, I want to say that I have not been drinking regularly now for more days I can remember. It has done me a universe of good. And now... Yes, it is true, that the burden of the ego is a heavy one. The I Am is a complete nightmare and like the existence of suffering, it is hard to know what it's purpose is. Animals exist perfectly contentedly without the existence of one - as far as we know. Yes, it is true, they suffer, as we do, but really... this existence of the I - who knows why it exists. For aeons, humankind has tried to make sense of it. We invented gods. Yesterday I was listening to the service and was wondering why is the entire focus of the service about suffering? It's so needlessly soaked in the misery of human existence and the glorification of a god who is above it all - literally above it all.  Human life is not miserable. It is miserable because we have chosen to make it miserable. Mainly by handing over control to assholes.  But everyd...

It is a cliche, but each day is a journey through time. We begin it and we end - the day. This time round the sun - its rise and fall, the golden disc which brings us a semblance of starting and passing. It is strange that things do come to an end and yet, we human being have such an enduring sense of the eternal. How is it, that creatures - us - who are born, live and die, have such an acute sense of the thing which immortal? The ineffable. We sense the Hidden Ones which live in the land. We tell stories of them. We tell stories. What are stories but a bid for the ever lasting? Fairy tales, epics, something passed around, circulated, a gift... something which resonates. As we journey we also try to find meaning. Isn't that strange? We make a huge deal of it too. A well lived life must have meaning at its core or it just becomes a mundane trudge through the journey. We sprinkle moments of magic - births, relationships, beautiful places. We are alchemists of time. Refini...

  Yesterday I received a message from Kate about working from the heart. It was simple yet powerful. It was about moving from the instinct to the intuition. The intuition which rests in the heart - through imagination and inspiration. It is so simple yet the journey is so far. She said that we were moving towards a heart consciousness - the entire world - and that is the only way to go. It as interesting that the talk was about the I Am in the Christian community. Ben was talking about the polarising effect of technology - and we are seeing this interference with the I Am in children. As someone who educates consciously out of the Good, Beautiful and Truthful it is every single thing which is poisonous in our lives. The so called smart phone. A misnamed object if I ever saw one.  She also asked me to amplify the experience of being by the river with the Da Danaan twins and the many animals there. How I was led there to have that experience. That connection with land and the op...

Yesterday was a very beautiful day. We went to Finnebrogue Woods and the people there have created a a lovely spot. Ghin seems very happy with Becca... but she does distract him. It is his problem, not mine. I try and support him as best I can. 

Rainbows are a frequent occurrence in Ireland. the mix of sun and rain and mizzle and mist means that there's always one lurking about the corner ready to appear in the skies. On a single day it is not unusal to see a few at different times of day. Despite their frequency, they are still quite the sight. I always think of Atlantis and how the original remembered deluge, here in the land of Atlantis means that we get to see them all the time. I have been spending too much time on the phone and the TV. I really do need to stop it. It's just too easy to fall into the idiocy really. Too easy. So today, everything starts once more. I start to look after myself a lot more. School is now on an even keel - again. The children are doing great. The fractions are being learnt and they seem to understand it. Next week we recap everyday and then we do equivalent fractions - step by step by step... or maybe we could do add and subtract - difficult to know where to go ...

I have loved and enjoyed doing Fractions. I have gone very very very slow this time. I have taken one element for a week. We have four more years ahead of us - what's the rush? Last week I did denominators. This week, numerators. Next week, equivalent fractions and then the following week, even more equivalent fractions. In the meantime, to make the process that much more interesting and to help with the mental gymnastics Fractions brings, we have been doing Celtic Knots. Every day, the class do a new Celtic Knot along with the new thing we learn about Fractions. It has been very exciting to see the children understand how Fractions work and how we are going to learn to do them through the year. If I manage to get them to understand how to add, subtract, multiply and divide this year, I will be doing very very well indeed.  Here we are doing back in time... The last knot which we did This week has been a very b...