Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

  The mystery of the seed - how spirit becomes matter The narrowness of the path we tread: choose the path to serve the self or serve humanity Nights of the White Lily The wideness of the path of the Earth: we are called to be on earth and everything is food to the soul The mirror of Uriel - confront who we are. Work on ourselves for the well-being of others. Transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts through the agency of Christ Nights of the Sword Develop discernment by reconciling the Son of God and the Son of Man Who rules our souls? Who is the Lord of our soul, the author of our actions?  31 December/1 January   Leo  The Cross on the Hilt of the Sword. Sacrifice. The tongue, encircled with the sword of the Christic force, speaks the truth without hurting. It is the night that drives away terror.  It is more poetry than anything else here. The tongue given Christic force can be a weapon for truth, but it does so without hurting - it brings healing. ...

My fifth day of running and I saw a bush of bramblings in front of the Dirty Duck. I stopped because the birdcalls were unusual. Then I saw that they weren't sparrows at all. The were these beautifully coloured birds. I thought - bramblings... they weren't sparrows or reed buntings. I did remember seeing them in the BHR many years ago. So I said, I must remember the call and when I typed it in sure enough, twas bramblings. I am so enjoying running and birding. Today I am going to go to the lough after running and take a look at the bird assemblage there with my bins. The bird feeders are going great. Starlings have discovered them... so that's the beginning of the end. But I have long-tailed tits and the others as well. No goldfinches though - but I don't put stuff out for them. I'll go running at 8.15 am. Let me try and write a story based on Baba Yaga today though. See where it takes me. I have been looking at the latest research on consciousness. I k...

The mystery of the seed - how spirit becomes matter The narrowness of the path we tread: choose the path to serve the self or serve humanity Nights of the White Lily The wideness of the path of the Earth: we are called to be on earth and everything is food to the soul The mirror of Uriel - confront who we are. Work on ourselves for the well-being of others. Transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts through the agency of Christ Nights of the Sword Develop discernment by reconciling the Son of God and the Son of Man 30/31 December  Cancer  The Serpent to the Hilt of the Sword. Wisdom . Devote yourself to high readings . It is the night of the Great Commandment.  Where yesterday was Discernment, today is Wisdom. Developing this through high readings. High readings of what? And what is the Great Commandment. I do this much of this can be garbled.  Mystery of activity: Who rules our souls? Who is the Lord of our soul, the author of our actions? We have the free...

I did it. I finished the transcripts and then printed the pages out. 288 pages in total. It was something. I pushed through the transcribing and managed to get here... To see it all now.  I must read through it now and then place it in some kind of order. It feels so good.  There are 36 stories. Some longer and some very short. Today's story is Baba Yaga. Beloved. She is the Cailleach of Russia. In all cultures we have the feminine monster. In the end, we are all monsters, as Sphinx says. Yesterday was Day 5 of running. I tried to go to the Christian Community, but Oisin needed me to get some bread and when I tried to go for the lecture, the door was closed and no one opened it. Then I finished Hestia and printed out the document. 288 pages in all. Now I have the hard copy. I came back and celebrated with a whiskey soda. Then I fell asleep, listening to the book on Psistis Sophia which sounded very like a document from the high 17th century ...

  The mystery of the seed - how spirit becomes matter The narrowness of the path we tread: choose the path to serve the self or serve humanity The wideness of the path of the Earth: we are called to be on earth and everything is food to the soul The mirror of Uriel - confront who we are. Work on ourselves for the well-being of others. Transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts through the agency of Christ 29/30 December: Fifth Holy Night   We are almost at the midpoint of the cycle and the year. Yesterday it was about transforming negative to positive through the agency of Christ. That very much hit home. I had this conversation where I told the boys I was trying to be more positive. I know I have come a long way, but I have some ways to go yet. Gemini  Gemini's fluidity is in contrast with Capricorn's certainty. It rests on the midpoint of the year and invites us to contemplate the year as it ages. I have never thought about it, but the 'twins' are beside th...

I blogged, transcribed and then went for my run yesterday. I loved running and watching the birds - especially the gulls dropping mussels on the footpaths along the beach. I saw three red breasted mergansers and five Brent. Then I served that the Christian community, attended the lecture and then went to Siuban's gathering. Came home and Oisin treated us to Yak's. It was quite something to see him ordering and ordering without a second thought about the price tag. It made me very proud. We talked and laughed - that's the thing - we talk and laugh about EVERYTHING. We do. We really do. After that we came home and I was so tired because i had been awake since 3.30 am. Everyday the light returns a little more. I think I run around 5 km everyday by the seafront. Around 40 mins I guess.  But today is when I do all the logistics. Sigh. I hate this but once it's done, it's done. No, be positive. Transform the thoughts from the negative to the positive. Once I h...

The Mystery of Life - the seed The narrow path of the self and the all The widest path of the Earth where we roam The nourishing of the soul - stilling the passions 28/29 December: Fifth Holy Night Taurus  It was only yesterday that I realised that the nativity scene had the two ages - the age of the ram and the age of the bull - in it. The bull was the age in which Moses came to be - it symbolised the Egyptians. The ram, precedes the age of the bull, but it also prefigures Christ's sacrifice later. And then the donkey - the beast who is about servility and humility. The cow is at the centre of many religions and cultures. Doing Gilgamesh, the Bull of Heaven, the sacred cow, is killed by Humbaba and Gilgamesh and this results in the coming of death for Humbaba.  Consciously purify the body of thought. Discipline the thought. Focus on positive things. Convert the black doves of thought into white doves, because our thought can be compared to a dovecote, until it is consciousl...

The first half of yesterday was quite productive. I wrote, went for a run, went to Christian community, then came back and that was the end if the productive, although, I did clear the boxes in the dining room. Today I am going to go for a run again, go to the Christian community, go to Siuban's then do computery type stuff. I know what needs done, I just need doing it. BUT - it has only been a week since school was ended and every year I get so tired. And let's face it, as I am so fond of saying, I did not have a real holiday. So enough of faffing. It is only 6 am. I will do some writing/ transcribing for a couple of hours and then I'm going for the run at 8 am.

Present from the boys New murals in Belfast The boys You better not post this on FB Yesterday Oisin asked me to bring him to the house. He was ill. I brought him in and gave him hot tea and paracetemol. He then slept till 12 noon. During that time I tidied the dining room and then went for my first run in two and a half months. It was so awesome. I'm going for the next run at 7.30 am. Anything else is just too early. It's like still dark.  Then I will attend the Christmas talk.  When Oisin got up, we collected Ghin, and then went to Belfast to see if they had Munch. But Munch was closed. Then we went to see if we could go to Little Wing. But that was very busy. There was nothing else the boys wanted so we decided we should go back to Little Wing in Holywood. But that was closed. So in the end, they all went to Tescos and then MacDonalds. It was kinda insane really. The kind of rambling you'd do if you had too much time and no ...

Mystery - how spirit meets matter and the soul is made Seeing the highest and widest picture - the road is narrow Remember the Goals of Destination in the widest paths of the Earth Fourth Holy Night: 27/28 December   Aries  Aries is the ram, the sheep. It is the head. It is the start. This is the second night of the Lily. Yesterday we worked with the Soul. Today, the astral body, which is deeply tied to the soul. The feeling life. The individuality which is unseen. In Aries, the ultimate sacrifice takes place. It is not an accident that Easter takes place under Aries. I always interpreted Aries as the shepherd, Dumuzi and it is not an accident either that he sits across from the goddess. Where the goddess is eternal and brings in the harvest, it is Dumuzi's blood which makes it possible. Life is about loss. It is about bringing the love we have to bear in reality. Consciously purify the astral body: antipathy and sympathy are transformed into Love. Passions and cravings ...

It is true, I have been feeling very lost recently. Comparison is the thief of joy and I do still get myself annoyed by the idiotic fake people of the planet. Why do I do that? Instead of being happy for them that they have managed to find some kind of peace in the world through Instagram and their weird performative lives, I get so irritated by them? This is something I must transform in myself this year. I should be better. I need to be better. This is what I will do this year. Be better. Give up on my insistences, whatever they may be. They are petty and I am indeed better than that. Every day the sun rises a little earlier. I'll go running at 8.30 today. Before that I'll tidy up the dining room. And look at the list of things I have given myself to do. I am also limiting my screen time to 2 hours a day. That includes Netflix, Duolingo, YouTube and TikTok BUT I can listen to youtube while I am cleaning.  Or tidying. That's ok. No more procrastinating. If I don't know...

26/27 December Pisces I just wanted to say that it was for this Esoteric Zodiac that I did my Zodiac series. It was what inspired me. I have learnt so much doing it over the course of the years. So much. Not just what the constellations look like, but also the meanings behind them. The Three Nights of the White Lily Steiner has grouped the nights into this groups of three. The first of which is the White Lily. I assume it comes from the story of the Green Snake and the White Lily, which is a fairytale he wrote about on the mediation of how a sacrifice is needed for the benefit of the greater good. But its a bit more magical and weird than that. How we get here is a mystery. Is there a meaning? It is inexorably better to be dedicated to humanity and poor than to be a rich arsehole. Immeasurably. All that consumerism and wealth is empty and temporary. All of it. And of course, to be as rich as that in a world where inequality is so extreme and absolute, you get the same hard, plastic fee...

Yesterday began with writing and meditating. Then I served at the Christian Community at 8 am. After that I headed back and then had a very quiet day. I slept-watched The Good Place  and then I began watching James Wan's True Haunting  series. After that the boys came over and Oisin gave me my present which was a super duper speaker. Ghin got a super duper drone. Then we watched the rest of the series, mostly laughing at it. I don't understand why Americans stay in houses they discover that are haunted.  That entire continent. Such a beyond atrocity which was carried out there.  I did feel a bit awful. Like a bit rubbish. I felt like everyone was gossiping about me. This is why I no longer go on tears. I'm so bad at them. This morning, Oisin called me over because he felt ill. I went over and got him. He is sleeping in my room now. On the most comfortable bed on the planet. There is no bed better than my bed. Not even w...

  25/26 December  Aquarius  Night of John. The Eagle of the Soul hovers high on its wings, looking back from a great height and  observing its own life. Now man recognizes the laws of Karma.  As spirit is made flesh, as matter is incarnated, there is a moment of grace, of insight. Of the moment after inspiration. There question is wordless. We are looking in all directions and we accept our destiny. To be born in this world and to play the role we will play. The universe imprints upon us that resonance. The string is plucked and for that one moment everything resonates. We will recognise that chord, that heart note, for the rest of our lives. This is what we were meant to do and ever after, if we are honest, we will check ourselves with this resonance - it is our very identity, our authenticity. To be yourself, that is the most difficult thing in the world. In that moment the cross is upon us and we take it up, both knowing and unknowingly. The battle is joined....

It was a very mellow Christmas. The nicest we had ever had because the boys participated in the cooking. They had an absolute blast making the dinner. I had done the shop at 8 am and got the last turkey in Lidl.  I made the ham, which they didn't eat, of course, and then collected them. Oh in between I hoovered and oh man, I think that was the trick. It had been weighing over me. I noticed that the last entry in my journal was 16 November. After that I had completely let things go and that's about right - so the awfulness was not forever, but for a month and a bit. It is always like that. I don't know what to do about it. I put the laundry on and the hoovering took an hour cos there was so much cat hair on the stairs. On all the carpets. But we got there in the end. Then I collected the boys. And what boys they are. Oisin bought the ingredients for eggnogg. We came ba...

So far, four birds have turned up at the feeders. A robin, a tit, a blackbird and a mystery bird which I can't see. They've inspected them, fed on them, a tiny bite, and the flown away. The blackbird had a drink from the water bowl. It's not a birdbath. Too deep by a few cm. Ah a coal tit has appeared with a friend. and a blackbird - possibly the same one has also returned. I am now boiling the ham. I've put in sugar and a few star anises. Although I remember now that the boys don't like anise. It'll be fine. It's only a few old woody pieces. I bought these spices so long ago in Singapore and it will only be this year I finish using them. The nutmeg will probably be another few years. A starling ahs appeared. That's the beginning of the end. They are voracious these birds. But here I am, trying to collect my thoughts for next year. I spent the last few days just doing nothing. The genocide is Gaza goes on and although the Israelis have stepped up their e...

24/25 December   Capricorn  On Christmas Eve, when Christ is born into the soul, the soul asks: Can I be heard with all my weaknesses, my faults and my passions?  As always, the answer is, that's all we have - our weaknesses, faults and passions. Nothing wrong with that. It is what we were made for. It is what makes us authentic. If we do not have these, then we would be as the angels or blank blocks of marble are. We would be perfect and indistinguishable. Perhaps anonymity is the price of peace.  Symbol: The Stable of Bethlehem, in whose humility and poverty the Light of the World was born. The  Voice of Silence penetrates the soul and teaches us to joyfully affirm the good in us and in others   Also that is all we have the affirmation of good in everyone. In other words, hope. If we have hope, we have everything. That's all we can do, hold on to our hopes. And the manifestation of hope, is seeing and holding onto the g...

I'll come back to this if I have more time today...

Birthday...