Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

When i first arrived here i was on a crash course to learn about Ireland and i used my MA thesis to do this. I did postcolonial identity and i used the literature of the Troubles to do this. (Actually there isn't that much literature of the Troubles, it may interest you to know, not as much as you think there should be.) Anyway, as the years passed i got to know Ireland through my work with the RSPB - its natural habitat. And that was VERY pleasant. Mmmmmm.... and now i get to put both together. So i have told the children all the stories which are related to the Mythological cycle, the Ulster cycle and the main saints. Whether they remember this or not is entirely up to them. But NOW i get to slowly and obviously tie the geography and the stories together. It is simply absolutely wonderful. The truth is that we could do this for the next five years - just spend all the time on Ireland alone. It's culture, it's music, its poetry, its craft, the people, the language.... ...

It is the end of January. There are numerous protests in the US because of the ban which Trump has put in place. Well which his administration put in place. As a result, many people have come out to say that this is unconstitutional and they are protesting at airports. It is good. Trump is so completely without guile that what the US has been doing now - the scrutiny which should have been afforded to all other US presidencies is now being shone on him. And there is Teresa May, grovelling before his racist, abusive, appalling behaviour. She must wonder, hey, what is wrong with people? We have been doing this for YEARS and now because it is TRUMP in charge, things have to change. It is a lesson for me too. I think though that once Trump goes there will be civil war in America. Or everything will just go back to normal. On a brighter note, i have cleared my desk. And i have been thinking about teaching. I think it has to be geography next. Irish geography. Specifically the geography of...

Here i am with a filofax i bought, i think in 1995 from a friend. It is made of wood and it did crack, but i have mended it with sticky tape and it is still good! I will be using it next year because i already have a little book thing for this year. Actually i have decided to use this filofax forever from now on and not buy any more new organisers, which i always do when i go to Singapore from Artbox. For the first time since i arrived in Ireland, i have not celebrated Chinese New Year. I'll probably get round to doing it at some stage, but it has been interrupted by the arrival of some kind of virus in Ghin. We spent the last few hours in the year of the monkey trying to find one of our cats - which is still missing, btw. It is rather worrying. I am hoping she will come home. I left the door open while getting the cat litter taken out and now the cat is disappeared as well. The conservatory was a total mess, so I cleaned it. Now Oisin and Ghin must clean their bits. M...

The day began pretty much as normal. I woke up around 7 and came down hoping to get my fix of facebook and do some blogging, when Ghin came running down and began having breakfast. I love my children, but being on my own first thing in the morning i also love quite a lot. Because the rule is no tech at the dining table, when someone else is there, i out away my laptop and we began chatting. Soon it was clear he was not feeling well. He went to the bathroom, came back down, and said, can i play some computer? I said, YES! Because i also wanted to play computer. 30 minutes later, he came back down and informed me he had been throwing up for the last fifteen minutes. I was aghast. How could i not have heard him? How could no one else not had heard him? They were all in the rooms beside him. Anyway, that was that. Nurse Stephanie kicked into gear. I got him to lie down and said, here do this... take some water, have some nux vomica, take some of this slippery elm porridge and drink mor...

The time for me to be suffer personal loss and setbacks is far from over. As long as we are alive, there is always the chance that we will be living in DEEP SHIT. There is always the possibility. And those times when i did have this there was one thing which sustained me. I know i thrive really well when I am in terrible places. It sort of brings out the best in me. And the best in me, can be summed up, more or less, like this: the only way is forward. When i was struggling with my own personal journey, i never ever said, i would very much like to curl up and die. What is say to myself is that i must put one foot in front of the other, and walk towards the future. It is the only way. And so, while it is not a personal tragedy, that is how i feel now. One foot in front of the other, walk into the future, it is the only way. What is that only way? The future. The future must be about sustainable communities, who live within their means. To prioritise children, love and kindnes...

Yesterday i went for a talk at the Black Mountain Zen Centre. There is this practice which is called the Thank You practice. And on the face of it, it sounds bizarre. In it you are asked to be thankful for everything you have, both the good and the bad. And i had an opportunity to put it into practice almost immediately. What i noticed is that when i did that, when i thanked the situation what happened was i relaxed into it. The situation would still be the same, but i had changed - and that made it easier. So, there you go, thank you meditation. I like things which are helpful like this. I suppose it is another way of practising the Everything is Spirit which i have been doing. We saw the film Silence yesterday which was awful. It was a very complex film about belief, faith and principles. Which are actually not the same at all. And how far would you go to defend or to continue to stand in a belief. Of course, because it was Catholicism, most people watching the film, especially thi...

For someone who whinges a lot in my blog posts, i am aware that i am the LAST person to tell people to get over themselves. But this incessant whining about Donald Trump really has to stop. The people who lost are so shocked about this. They are horrified that they did not get their way. There are a vast difference between Brexit and the American Presidential elections. The difference is that the people of the UK did not realise for the most part that they were going to lose to the Remain campaign. If they had, they would have come out to vote properly. Also the Remainers fought a better campaign. You have to hand it to them - untruths and lies were used, but still, it was a far better campaign and finally, the circumstances which won them Brexit were undeniable. That is the one thing it does share with the American Presidential election - that the ignored, the 'deplorables', were taking back their power. And who can blame them eh? That's what i say. But the US was forwar...

This morning i woke up and felt terrible. Awful. It was as if all the things which i had feared and hated about myself suddenly fell out of the wardrobe and attacked me. Those mornings are the worst. I lay there feeling utterly helpless as wave after wave of what can only be described as an attack came upon me and i lay there thinking that this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. That my life could no be worse. And then two things happened. First, i thought of those children who were being sold into slavery - that was like a slap across the face. WHAT AM I MOANING ABOUT? My life is not just fine, it is great. And then another thought occurred to me: despite knowing that i am loved and cherished by any number of people, and that really, no one will be able to love me enough. Isn't that a weird thing? That is a really weird thing. HOW COME I THINK NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO LOVE ME ENOUGH? So i had to stop myself, shake myself down and go - YOU HAVE A GREAT L...

Guess the bird No, not giraffe I was really not happy about this photo so i redid the background and i learnt that watercolour backgrounds have to be very very washed out Ghin Match Attacking hard Cheese from Leiden Not very much left there Yesterday was a blah day. Well it WAS Day 1 of the period, and by the evening i was gone. I did manage to make a date with my journal. Storm petral Mistle thrush Fulmar I fear i shall have spent the rest of the day painting again today. I have done three paintings - one mistle thrush, one stonechat and one storm petral. The spate of drawing happened yesterday when i was too tired to do anything - due to the period - and then could not bring myself to lie down in bed or to read a book. Playing the piano was too invasive into other people's space - so i decided to paint. Well i began painting for a friend, and more or less did not stop. I now have six watercolours, Three down each day. I suppo...

Today was spent, like very other day, in the company of each other. I feel so super bad that i have made NO EFFORT whatsoever to meet friends, especially since holidays are the only time i do get to meet them. But i am still recovering from the frenetic pace of last term and just trying to get through things... like matching up socks, gardening, laundry, while still trying to relax and have a holiday are currently priorities. Oisin has hurt his foot parkouring so we can't go for long walks and i don't want to go for long walks without them - so i'd rather hang out doing the garden and stuff around the house. Cooking LOOOOADS. But sometimes, we have cabin fever and i think that was manifested in the Grape Challenge today. Oisin and Ghin.... lunch time Can you do the grape challenge? 11 grapes How the years have passed Ghin and Peter...  One of my favourite funny stories, which Peter never finds funny was how in Castlecourt when Ghin was very very young, he h...

Two things have been niggling me lately. The first is, the way the accepted way of going about things now is extremes. Something is either really good or else really bad. Take people's posts on FB for instance. Well, people don't post negative things anymore because they don't want to look like loosers (not that i think you are a looser if something bad happens in your life, or life you feel less than positive about things), So people don't even give a negative opinion about anything because... if it is negative then, it is very bad - and so that is other extreme - only really bad things then appear in newsfeeds. Usually disasters, shootings, etc. The world is now poised between two extremes. This is an observation which Charlie Booker made in 2016 Wipeout. The other thing which has niggled is the obsession with happiness and positivity. People are now allergic to the concept that suffering is an important part of life. Even children have this problem now. The number ...

The past three days have been big gardening days. Yesterday i tackled the backyard to great success. These are after pictures. The before pictures were too depressing to take. Everything, as you can see is old Except the gardening tools. They were this year's Christmas present! This is a repurposed shower caddy These pots i found lying about somewhere in school with no one to love them So i took them home. They are my pride in the garden. These old old flower pots, i punched holes in them to make them outdoor worthy The glass jars are for candles The pot, second to right now looks great after years and years of algae build up When i first got it it was too brightly coloured and tacky looking That candle holder came from Singapore It has been lying around doing not much. It is now a centre piece in the garden as part of the garden bench. New doormat from TK Maxx. £6. Dug up the beds and planted primroses in it Rehomes...

I have slowly come to the conclusion that travel is overrated. There is this exhortation that if you are young you ought to travel and see the world. I know, it was great fun, i did that...but here is my experience as i get older. So, when i am in a place which, often, i have been dragged to because i have a million and one other things i need to do where i live, actually NEED to do it, because the day to day doesn't really allow me to do these things, i really do enjoy it and say, god, i should do this more often. But i do have to be dragged kicking and screaming usually - ok screaming on the inside. Like i said, when i get there i completely and thoroughly enjoy it. It is always soooo interesting and i have the sort of personality that finds everything very interesting. I could be in the middle of a war zone, in a garbage disposal, on top of a mountain in a fjord, it is all interesting. OK, i stand corrected, i don't really enjoy how crowded Singapore has become i don't...