Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

It’s been a rather depressing day. Work has been blah and then there’s life outside work which isn’t much better. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling awful, but there is really nothing i can do until i extract myself from it. And for now... it’s just not possible. Time will pass and i will feel better. I’m sure of it. Why do we keep each other in chains? And why are we so scared of doing the courageous thing? There was once a time when i used to think i did have enough of a will to make changes. Now i just can’t be bothered. Terrible. I am presently preparing for the Sumatra trip. I’m not quite sure if what i want to do will work. I know that the work with the rainforest is very important, but i don’t know if we will be able to do enough to make a difference. The forces of greed and cruelty arraign themselves before us and force us to make compromises. Why are people so driven by greed? In the last twenty years this has gotten worse not better. Examples of how this has gotten wors...

The brief burst of sunshine is now gone and once again, there is just overcast breezy coolness. The dizzying past tow days of summer made us all hopeful, but it is now gone and we are bereft, like forlorn lovers. I described the sunshine as making us utterly distracted and mostly useless, but oh so good, like falling in love. Today i tried taking a picnic as well, but arrived at a cold dead end. When we sat outside, the clouds came over once more and then we were left goosepimpling in the shade. Yesterday i was down at NVTV and it was such a hoot. Most of the people there are - men. Well, you say men, but they really are slightly bigger boys. Mostly in their 20s and mostly full of life and by the sounds of it alcohol in the evenings. I have never really run around with men who have enjoyed rock music, drunk a lot, or enjoyed football. Or smoked actually. Not that they would fall into that category. This makes me think, what kinds of men have i run around with. And the answer would be.....

I think people generally know they have boys when they discover they are being eaten out of house and home. No, that is not fair. I have seen girls give baleen whales a run for their money too. But they are proba ly going through a growth spurt, which is to say they are always hungry and will not stop at just being content with one breakfast. So today we had THREE breakfasts. Ghin had cornflakes and sausages, followed by scrmabled eggs and then a cream finger. Oisin did not have sausage, but made the scrambled egg and substituted the cream finger with a frangipan. Ghin shows off Oisin's scrambled egg... Viola! breakfast numero trois.

There comes a point in every child's life where all they want are tattoos....Ghin adored his. I'm cool now mommy, just like Shane (that would be Lara's husband who is a tattoo artist.) So the posing intructions here were, do cool dude Ghin.... You could see him couldn't you, in a Chine Sek Bak shirt and the tattoos... Again, here, posing as future head of Chinese traid Oh yeah.... Here is Peter sorting out the power kite. As the boys mess around. Crawfordsburn was so beautiful - we flew kites on the Saturday and it was simply perfect Here's Ghin with his gunny... Up up and away! Pink tights! Ghin has a temper strop at Oisin who won't let him fly the kite. As you can see Oisin so cares.... Oisin flying his kite. In rapt concentration.... Just so cute when he sulks...

There has been a surfeit of Frankenstein mania with the anniversary of Shelley's novel upon us. I did not realise it was such a biiiig thing now, until i got to the QFT showing of the NT's live broadcast and it was sold out. I read Frankenstein more than 20 years ago as part of the undergrad course i did and i remember being struck by two things. That Shelley wrote it as she was greiving about her dead baby or babies and that she was so desperately wanting them to come back that she developed a whole theory about playing god and what that meant. And it interesting that the two versions which i have seen in the space of almost as many days, have chosen to emphasise two different things. Danny Boyle's looks at the social justice - and the wisdom of scientific transgression - and the BBC Three version looks at a the self obsessed Victor Frankenstein. Both make Elizabeth much more important and the wedding far more important than the book had it. It just inspires me to reread t...

Ghin is now sitting on myknee. That is a real time photo. Of us in jammies....

How scary is that...? Peter does his now look into my eyes impersonation of a hypnotist. Ghin abusing his older brother, nothing new there. Ah brotherly love.... Boys on haystacks.... they grow up so fast... And so....back again. I should post up photos of the boys because they look so amazing now. Ghin is just the most adorable wee four year old... he really is, and Oisin is turning into a nine year old with dark hair and porcelain skin. It's supposed to be all good until they hit puberty. Ah puberty, i can't wait. In the meantime, it is Lent. Ugh, Lent. I have given up wine and meat and it is awful. I am really struggling with it this time. I miss my wine most when i am cooking. I cook to unwind and as i cook, i have a glass, and then for dinner i have another half glass. And that's it. It just brings the day to a close. Although since i began running regularly, the running has taken off the need for the wine, but i STILL miss it. The meat, i cannot put into words how muc...

Hi have realised what my problem is. Why i can't get motivated. I have too much to do. Sheesh.... i kid you not. Waaaaaay to much that my entire being feels like i might implode. So i need to spend two days just teasing out what needs to be done and what needs to be dropped. But if i did get two days i would just spend it rolling from one side of the bed to the other in an effort to run away from all responsibility. This is of course no way to talk as the world goes up in smoke. Between the ever worsening issue in the Middle East and the nuclear meltdown in the Far one, life is not looking good. Perhaps that is why i feel a bit dislocated as well. I need to find some ground and land hard on it. But everything seems to be shaking. If you excuse the analogy, post-Earthquake.