Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

Ghin falls asleep with Gary Forest School The best memories Mondays... and the week arrives... Ghin came over for dinner and we hung out of awhile. After forest school... Listening to Brand's daily YouTube podcast. I love Brand. I have always loved him since he began to do political broadcasts. The thing is I am beginning to understand that most people do not have a political compass, especially women. Although everyone is political. Everything is political. Everything is political because whatever we do, we have power. The individuals have power and we believed we had power. That is mostly why I left Singapore and moved to Ireland. Ireland was - used to be - the one place which held out. It's history of rebellion and the refusal to submit was one which I had a huge affinity for.  Sadly the entire world has been captured by the cult of neoliberalism and I think that we are just gonna have to go through the eye of the needle and n...

I did do the elements ad yesterday and buy a wired mouse which only cost £3.50 after a discount! at Tescos, but apart from that the day was a loss. I am missing Ghin so much and it actually hurts not to see him. Knowing he is just up the road is an even greater knife tot the heart. That he says he isn't being fed properly is also painful. But there is not much I can do otherwise. Apart from miss him.  Then I watched - let's be honest - binge watched that dramatisation of the rise and fall of the owner of Chippendales - a completely unliikely man - who is portrayed as autistic, and how he ended up murdering people and committing arson - over - and this is hard to believe - a male strip show. It is quite strange to see these women screaming at the men who would never give them the time of day - these impossibly muscled men - which I have never found attractive. Overly defined and veined - I actually don't know what the attraction is. Anyone who spends that amount ...

Every day, every time - we win. In this win - everybody wins. When I go to the Bay Tree, I win cos I have a lovely meal and a wonderful restaurant is supported. When I am a Steiner teacher - to the best of my ability - I also win because it is meaningful and the children also get an education which i'd imagine they deserve. When I do elements, I win cos I do something I love, get paid for it, and the kids also win and the people who take part in it also win. Everyone wins. I don't know what other scale mad people like the people who are in power run, but I don't know who they imagine is winning. It certainly isn't them cos the wins they take and make have nothing to do with excellence - they have everything to do with beating someone else. That kind of win is impregnated with fear and laced with a pride which eats you from the outside just as the fear eats you from the inside. That kind of win is predicated on the belief of the inferiority of another person....

Saturday... for the first time in ever I have a full two day weekend... It's quite a novel experience... The boys were over and we had brunch in The Bay Tree. I did the finances this week as well on Tuesday and I will now do finances for my own account... and then update everything with elements. The sun is out and the day is fine and we are very happy. My sons are almost all grown up and I love them so so much.

At Forest School yesterday, we did birdsong and then we drew the birds in chalk on fence posts and the strange metal sheet on the ground. All in all it was a wonderful afternoon - the children laughed at the tea-cher tea-cher mnemonic but then most at the chaffinch with its ginger-beer! exclaim at the end. And then the starling as the R2-D2 bird with it chirps and whistles.  Later I headed into Belfast and chatted with the Grow NI people up at the Waterworks. They were looking to do a Forest School with children. I wonder if I could get a few children to e volunteers at the Saturday so that they can see a session... That's the thing about Forest Schools though - they are not run by full-time teachers. If you are a full-time teacher you are not a forest schooler. It was something wonderful to be able to go into a place and go - yeah you will get x amount of time out of this - you can do this - but you will get no more out of it....

Ice cream at Al Gelato Frog during drawing class Ghin and Matteo came over yesterday evening and I made butter chicken and later we had ice cream. I was so exhausted after that I went to sleep and mow I'm going to do all the accounts for elements because I really have to. I will skip the run and in fact Wednesday will be my break day for running cos I think you need to have one. I will just push through with the accounts. I did everything up to 3 pm yesterday and then I came home, Ghin asked if I was around and I made an early dinner for him - then we headed on to ice cream. Spending time with the boys is the best. They are so lovely and funny. We are very very lucky. The school is completely bunged though... it's quite funny. Well not funny for upper school who has no place to put anyone. 

Forest School - another awesome day Yesterday, in the mental health seminar, they were talking about this term Salutogenesis. It was interesting - the importance of sense making, manageability and comprehensibility. Steiner education has always been that for me - it taps into a larger and wider sense of being and understanding and you do not have to go down the path of a supreme being - in our curriculum we celebrate inherently the entire gamut of human history and we are able to give ourselves this wonderful sense of being - it is very special really... We are so lucky. That is one of the many reasons our curriculum is so special - we inherently recognise this wonder of being a human in a world which can be so unkind. A world which is very hard work. We are born into difficulty... Yesterday I started looking at Atlantis again and I realised that is a really good start. I have good bones there and can build on it. Although as I was running I though...

Back to the Quarries Treausre of Nature box Getting ready Birthday greetings The warmest February on record I'd say Pretty benches A great birthday party I know that I can sound weak, silly, foolish, vain in the blog, and perhaps I am all of those things. But this blog is often used to help me gee myself up and feel better about the world around me. I was rereading yesterday's entry and I sounded bitter and idiotic. I don't care. Make me bitter and idiotic. Pathetic, conceited, twisted, silly - it is OK . That would make me human - but if this blog is the only place I am those things, then that is OK.  We had a birthday party yesterday at the Quarries. How often had I wished we could have birthday parties where the children were doing lovely things in nature and that we were being in love with the space, not contending against it - as one does in these so so called soft play areas. There is...

Ghin did not turn up yesterday evening. It was not a surprise. It was a disappointment. I was all ready to have my heart ground into dust, when strangely I discovered two things subsequently. First, it was a performance of Lizst's Feux Follet. Then, after watching the commentary on it, I looked up fiction and there it was - a veritable treasure trove of how to write videos. I clicked on one, called Show Not Tell and went to wash the dishes, listening to it, and once again I was back into...  I was reminded about time travelling - I had been exploring this quite a lot recently - and reminded of all the moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days and weeks - years - which I had been with the boys. All of it given over when there was nothing to be gained - unlike the grubby reasons which Omadhaun now had. It was for money, of course. My reasons for being with the boys were pure, selfless. I had been with them when they needed me the most - not when I needed them most - which wo...

A day of doing and just taking it easy. I managed to clean the desk and organise the various files. This evening should be spent doing my schedule. In the mean time, I cooked for Ghin andhis friend - salt and chilli chicken - and they say they are coming back later this evening. I am not holding my breath.  But the house is ridiculously organised and clean now. I am so relieved. 

It is really amazing... ChatGPT told me exactly why teenage girls with autism may laugh hysterically... but I do think that the contagion model is also true. I find ChatGPT a bit of a fascist. It is important that we realise that it does have its limitations. It is definitely not the oracle. Which is ironic. Anyway I've done my lesson planning for Monday.  It is time to start thinking about Class Trips to Downpatrick... must talk to teachers about that. But now for the rest of the day. After this - I need to tidy the table and then go for my run. Although I was hoping to run in Belvoir Park Forest really... 1. Organise this desk 2. Schedule for rest of the week - with ref to schedule I developed earlier 3. Admin - as much as can be done till 8 am 4. Run - Belvoir Park Forest 5. Breakfast with Ghin and Matteo 6. Sort out garage 7. Sort out garden 8. Lunch - butternut squash soup 9. Nap 10. More Admin - with payments to Jemma 11. Organise Atlantis 12. Plan for Forest School tomorrow

I know I posted this already, but look at how gorgeous this baby is... Can't believe he is now a young man Wee Chief Hakaluku Even as a child Ghin always looked like a gangsta. I mean he doesn't look like a gangsta now - he looks like a 1930s Shanghai gentleman, especially when he is dressed like that.  On Thursday evening he brought Matteo to meet me - the house was in a completely disheveled state. And I mean COMPLETELY. I hadn't hoovered for WEEKS and because I had been prepping for Forest School it was just a storm of mess.  Well, I managed to clean it up yesterday and order has since been restored. So today - laundry and then cleaning up the garage. Saturday. I'm going for my run and sorting out my schedule for the coming week. It is soooo busy. So busy. But good to be busy and yesterday I got two requests from people to do Forest School in Armagh and again in Helen's Bay... so that's all very exciting right? I was real...

Drawing oak using charcoal Spring Sun Getting ready Equipment loot Caricature of holly leaf by student Drawings of collected plants and the map of Belvoir Park I am soooo tired after each session. But combined with school it was even more tired... The next session will be April which is great. I am so glad. The work which we did was very satisfying. Aaaaannnnd we have just been contacted by a whole load of people to do Forest School now... it is really lovely. The GROW NI people and someone in Armagh. It feel really satisfying to be vindicated in what we do and the reputation we have is quite good, if I do say so myself. Again I cannot get away from the imposter syndrome feeling. It's so weird. Right I am going to clean the house now and then after that do accounts. And after that take a drive out just to clear my head.  It has been so very satisfying. I know that I can make this a viable business. Growing it...

I am listening to Bach - the Goldberg Variations. It comes from a time when music was a rare thing. So rare that only the very rich could have music on tap. Patrons kept artists alive so they may ply their craft and the artists in turn produced what they had to. They were the content creators of their day and only those who had a certain degree of skill - the ability to read music and play and instrument were able to access that content. Fast forward some 300 years and this music is everywhere at anytime of day if you have smart phone and wifi connection.In a digital democracy this means that everyone should have access to it. However, instead of being a rare and fragile thing, this music is no longer a jewel set in the ring of time, the setting designed to emphasise and celebrate the stone's beauty, instead it is part of a neverending smogasbrod of sounds, images, sometimes both, or not a very edifying quality. A quick excursion on TikTok will make you realise that the...

Beeswax figure of a gnome carrying a mushroom I just have to turn up and write. That's the only thing that needs to happen first thing i the morning. No compromises on that one.  Yesterday I tidied up all the forest school equipment. We have almost everything which we need. I am a bit annoyed because the knives I ordered are about the same size as the knives which we have. Ugh. So I'm going to have to order ANOTHER set of knives. This is the thing about the whole ordering shit online. You can't really see it. Anyhoo.... thoughts. What has writing been to me? It has always been the deepest expression of my own sense of self and soul. Words are the water which I swim in. I realise now that I have been watching far too much screen. There was a time when the screen was kept in its box - literally. The only way you would ever see a screen was on TV when it was on and it was only available for short periods of time - or the cinema - and that was a treat. I remember th...

Oisin in Slovakia Forest School equipment arrived! Brendan the Navigator! Ghin blacksmithing Forest School on Monday Brigid workshop! Siuban's drawing! The top of Navan Hill Brigid of Kildare The boyz More Forest School More the boyz