#57.20 - Printing

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Tearing paper
It was like being back in the 19th century - working in a William Morris type room. OMG just the delight of being with the machines which he would have worked with, from the time he worked, it was just so amazing. And the smell of linseed oil - to think that people are doing this now... this is what I was born to do artistically.

So I now have a new journey and this one is going to keep going I think. The camaraderie and the niceness of people. It was hard graft - it wasn't some cute workshop. I was like the blacksmithing of paper. There was lots of cleaning, cast iron things which could injure you, and of course, PAPER!!!! Just the paper. When I went to the paper making factory in Hemmel Hempstead I was soooo happy. This is where the dots are joined. 

This is what I am going to do for the rest of my life as a hobby. I am going to start doing printmaking. I love life. I really, really do. I am so lucky.

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Us and the machines

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My first background!

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Mixing paint


I also spent the day with Kelly. It was interesting comparing notes about the nutcases in our lives. Then after that the boys hung out with each other. I also got a valuer to the house. It was another step in the right direction. It is strange me doing this because this time round, there are no regrets, no sadness, no tears. I am looking after myself but I am not full of sorrow anymore. It is what time has brought me, the inevitable, and as life offers this to me, I am gratefully saying yes. I am saying yes that a woman is able to step out. I also leave with no questions, no illusions, no what ifs? I stayed, not for the boys, no, but because there was a chance, a possibility of what I hoped for all those years ago to work out, but it was not to be. Not because I didn't want it, but because he didn't want it. There is no shame in saying that, why not? None at all. I tried my very best to make it work.

Also I always said there were two things: first I would take two years to see if things were working and then I would never compromise who I was. I wasn't going to change. Before those two years were up he threw in the towel. That was two years ago. I think I gave it my best shot.

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