22.4.24 - The weird cough

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Ghin yesterday


So I discovered yesterday when I went out shopping I was still not great. I nearly passed out after doing the weekly shop. I thought I was recovering but I really was NOT.

So I went home and did pass out a bit. And cancelled forest school, something I have not done in all the time we have run it. and then after cleaning the classroom, I did class prep.

I settled down for the rest of the afternoon and then went to sleep early... then... i woke up at 5.30 am and realised I had not coughed the entire night. It was the first time in the ENTIRETY of the last 4 days I had not done that and that I weirdly felt much much better. To go from fine to zero and then from zero to fine was v strange. The only trace of my illness is now my voice which is still ropey. But even that cough which made my headache is over. So it was the right call to just lie in and not do anything and seal the deal with the recovery. Still though. It is super weird.

I am glad that I am feeling better. But it was also an idea to not do today.

I can do tomorrow. In a way I feel really stupid that I cancelled yesterday when I feel fine today, not great, which is my usual modus operandi, but fine. However... it was probably for the best.

I love love love the things I do, but I also do think that the club is a great transmitter of disease. And that maybe I should use my own yoga mat when I am stretching.

I'll start running on Thursday, but not before that. Maybe not even till the weekend. Just to give it time to settle in. It was Tuesday evening when I was so fucking tired after the run. But I will get there in the end.

As in the 5.5 km.

I did think though, while I was in my head how come I don't have very many close friends? But that is not true. I do have loads of close friends. I only obsess with the people who someone dropped me from their lives, but I live in the knowledge that I did not do anything to these people and actually they kinda do drop people from their lives all the time... It is strange what being ill can do to you.

I do feel much better. But I also have had to stop looking at the Gaza stuff. Although it would appear to be a rebellion taking place across America now with the disgust with Israel's behaviour and collusion or enabling from America. The other thing which has gotten people so pissed off is the day to day struggle which people go through on a daily basis. How come there is always money for weapons to kill people but no money to help people who are struggling? People just have to do all this shit themselves. That is the reality of it all. If you aren't gonna help yourself then no one is going to come and help you. Nope. Forget it.

It does seem an odd thing to say from someone who literally has helped people all their lives, but I think that that is the reality though.

Anyhoo. I have now had a shower and washed my hair. I still don't understand where that cough has gone to... how can a cough just suddenly disappear? Was it the salad I had last night? The a lot of salad? What a testimony to salad.

It's only just gone 9 am. I will try my best not to do any cleaning today. Not physical cleaning anyway. Instead I will clean my laptop up. It is having a wee bit of a hard time. It is almost 10 years old, if not older and has been doing really well.

Now that I am all better again, everything is possible. Honestly, I do need to wise the fuck up. I'm so pathetic.

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