10.4.24 - Gaza

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Is this Ghin's art project - don't know


The war in Gaza is entering an ominous phase. The Israeli troops have pulled out of Gaza. Who knows what they are going to do next?

These people are completely insane anyways.

I don't know on what planet their actions will be deemed as legitimate, but I see the supremacists, the sadists, the sociopaths and psychopaths having a field day. How do people get to a place where their brains are able to justify such cruelty? Such irrationality? 

It has been almost 13 years since I have been teaching in Steiner. I have done my 10,000 hour and finally get it. I have done 2 things for 10,000 hours, well 3. One - PR. Two - Teaching. Three - Motherhood. I finally get it.

I'm finally starting to enjoy the silence and the solitude. No longer feel like I need to be running in fifty different directions. It feels incredibly strong and a relief. I am starting my writing again. Today after school I'll go for my run at the club then I'll come back and do what I did yesterday which is Elements and class prep. Then I'll do some piano playing and drawing. It is a beautiful kind of settled life.

I am completely at peace. 

I have also decided I am not giving to charity any longer. It's ridiculous. I have never been a big charity giver, but the entire industry is a scam. If you are rich enough to give then, good, do that. What I do is I invest my time in creating a better place, a better world. I think I will also tidy up this room by organising the shelves and making sure that the place is sorted nicely.

It feels so precious, all of this.

To finally arrive here, with my time. To have it all now returned to be mine. To know I have discharged my duties to the best of my ability. To be clear in my conscience. It is the BEST feeling in the world.

I might head to TK Maxx today as well, just after school to get myself a set of earpods, but as always, I just think, what's wrong with my earphones... and I don't get it. It's so nice to see all my diaries. My empty journals waiting to be filled. 

I just have been bereft over Gaza. The horrors humans are able to visit upon each other confirmed by the past six months. The Zionists are monsters. They are on the same level as the worst, most atrocious mass murderers in history. Is it some essentialist thing about them? No? Not. There are millions of other Jewish people who have found what Israel has done horrific. Israel has been disowned by humanity. The only people who cling on are those who cannot be reasoned with and who get their daily sustenance from the blood of Gazans. And Iranians. Or Syrians. It is like they are now completely insane. The world is being ruled by a strata of amoral/ immoral self centred narccisists best exemplified by Prince Andrew and then the filthy trades like arms. It is all a massive money laundering scheme. I don't care about these idiotic circles in which they move. Their capacity for self delusion is just off the scale. 

Who would be part of that group whose only meaning in life comes from the shallow and superficial life which they lead? Who would be them? I had a chance to join the club and I took one look at it and went, er no. No thanks. Awful. Can't do that. Stepping on the bones and blood of the vulnerable. Making excuses as every corner. The tide has turned with Gaza. The mash has slipped and everything has now been laid bare. No one is going to take any more of your nonsense ever again.

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