#20.21 - So, this has been great

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Went food shopping with the boys yesterday and cooked two meals - both Italian. One carbonara using stuff in the kitchen and the other, lasagna. It is a strange time. I have tried to stop thinking about things. It is useless to rely on anyone else apart from those closest around you to keep you sane. 

I must start running again. There are no two ways about it. Do this and then go for my run. No ifs and buts. To compound things, there is now flooding in some parts of England. Why do people still live next to rivers? It is mental. I know we live near a lough but we live quite high up. That said... well, there is a river nearby. Holywood must have a source of fresh water because it has been lived in since forever. The Priory must be near a river. I think there is a river in Holywood... there must be.

What else?

It has been so long since I have written. I must start again. But there is just so much to do by way of work and on the computer. I must take charge of that today. The routine now, I think, is pretty much the same, except that I do marking in the afternoons. For about an hour and a bit. Since I have caught up with the work I do prep during the time the students are doing their work.

Today's task will be to write what they know about late medieval Europe, just before the Crusades. So Thursday's work will be to get them to do some writing. I don't want them copying things either. So it has to be original work.

This week was quick. Really quick.

My darlingest boys. We have meals together and have converse and laugh. It is chilled. We have a super chilled time. We went food shopping yesterday. I know it was the three of us, but no one stopped us. It was fine. 

For the longest time I have always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Even now. Even now. It always feels like there is something I'm not getting. But it's ok. It's ok. 

It's fine.

We do what we can. 

My brain feels like there is a spiky ball - a wall around the inside of my head and I must be so so careful because we could end up hurting my thoughts on the inside. So strange. 

=================================

RIGHT.

Today.

I need to make a list of things and stop at ten. Get control of my life now. All the small things hanging out the side which are just so energy draining and sapping. Get that done. 

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