#1.21 - Ninth Holy Night

Holy Night 9 – 2021

January 1-2 – Virgo: DEVOTION: SERVICE

Now come the three nights of the crown.

Release from the only intellectual, or release of the intellect from its earthly bonds and purposefulness. This is the thrice-holy night, in which the lower ego falls away and only the desire to serve, to devote oneself, remains.

Rudolf Steiner’s indications for the Holy Nights given to Herbert Hahn

Translation from German by Laura Zanutto 2015 and Mark Willan 2016

Heilige Nacht

1./2.  – Jungfrau

Nun folgen die drei Nächte der Krone.

Loslösung vom Nur-Intellekt oder die Loslösung des Intellektes von der irdischen Gebundenheit und Zweckhaftigkeit. Es ist die dreimal heilige Nacht, in der das niedere Ich abfällt und nur der Wunsch bleibt, zu dienen, sich hinzugeben.

Ninth Contemplation: Kristina Kaine

The one who wears the greatest crown is Christ. His crown is woven from his intentions which Steiner expresses as “only the desire to serve, to devote oneself,”. As we focus on the presence of Christ in us, in this earth, and in the Universe, we absorb him into our body, soul and spirit. Every thing we eat, every breath we take, every ray of sunshine we absorb, enables us to become Christ-ened. The more aware we are of this, the greater our ability to serve. Our awareness grows as we think these thoughts and try to experience them in our being.

Then we can think of the journey undertaken by this mighty spiritual being as he moved from a highly spiritualized condition into the denseness of the physical body of Jesus. When he had achieved that, which reached its fullness on the cross, he began returning to his spiritualized condition which is termed the resurrection.

Forming imaginations about the events of the Christ-ened Jesus process, and thinking about the gifts we receive at each stage of this process, enlivens Christ within us and around us. The more we accept this, the greater our ability to devote ourselves to Christ.

Neither Jesus nor the Christ went through the crucifixion and resurrection for themselves, they did it for us. Why? So that we could then assist them to do work they were not able to do by themselves. They need those who have “only the desire to serve, to devote oneself,”

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Spent yesterday evening drawing. Thinking about the First Holy Night and January. In the future I think I may do this. If I have the strength. For the first time in ages, no alcohol. And I woke up today being happy, Feeling good. Oh my playlist... Just made a new one! It is now the third year I am doing this.

We are now lining up to take sides. I'm on whatever side Russel Brand is on. Which I think is the side which is about questioning everything. I am REALLY happy with the drawing. It felt good. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to achieve what I wanted and I think I did. It is uniquely mine. Mine in the whole cosmos, made by my own hand without the involvement of a computer - well it showed me the images, but it is mine and mine alone and it took skill doing that. 

So today... I confess I have a sense of stepping back from the suggestions of this Holy Night. The Night of the Crown, where everything is about the serving of others. It seems so much, too much. It is what I have spent my entire life doing and a fat lot of good it did me. But maybe... maybe I have been doing this to indirectly serve myself? Perhaps that is it?

To devote oneself - what do we devote ourselves to? The desire to serve, to devote oneself... what is that anyway? I have no idea. I'm really at a loss here. To be part of a greater whole? Especially when everything is so fractured. To give yourself to Christ. To devote yourself to Christ. It is so hard because... because it is something which is so fraught with ego and also I did give myself utterly and completely to so many things. Perhaps to give yourself to Christ for now is too live in the moment. To be utterly at one in the service of Time. It was so peaceful doing the drawing yesterday. I could get used to this really.

Then I watched Sorry To Bother You. It was weird. Like... um... Thomas Pynchon and magic realism and surreal and funny. The director in the film is a skinny dude guy who puts on a white voice to do telemarketing sales. And he ends up being a Power Caller. Yeah. It was like a dysfunctional fairy tale. A fairy tale for dystopia. 

To devote yourself utterly in Christ. God. Literally. I have no idea. No clue. I must let this unfold. I have said Devotion and Service. I have tried to make my entire life about service. From service to the boys, to service to the natural world and service to children, and even service to friends when I can help it. I think it is about a fearless service. To serve without fear of criticism. To serve even if that service will render you defenseless. I think I'm getting it. Service without aggrandisement. That is tough. Service without reward, service unto death. Because what else do we have, apart from death?

Who knows what this year will be like but patternwise it does not look good, however, in the longer term, as long as I remain sane it will be fine personally for me. I guess.

It is 6. I have already decided what I will do today. I've just realised that this is my first entry. The Holy Nights made that blurred. This is how time is an illusion. 

It was good running yesterday, if a little slippery. I do have to look after myself this year. I definitely overdid it with the double cream. A bit too much of feasting in the last month I'd say. Right, time to start some writing. I should have written and be ready to go running now... BUT that is not gonna happen BECAUSE it is all about staying at home... so I'm good. I'm off the fecking hook.