#288 - 315 (27): Vila Shape Shifting/ Minerva Beliefs

I have gone back to my mythological roots. After having done all that, I have now begun to reconnect with it. To once more find the meaning in it. I remember reading all those books on mythology in P 5. What would I have been if I never read about the Greeks, the Peruvians, the Egyptians. I think that's where i began my journey. Last night I was watching youtube videos about the Hindu Gods and marveling at the depth and the mind boggling beauty of the symbolism. It is hands down the last remaining rich mythological culture left and that is probably because they had a caste system and the Brahmins kept the stories alive. I don't know. I'm making it up. But just listening even to the their just so stories like how did Shiva get his Trident? How did Durga get her ten weapons? What happened to Ashwatthamna? These were just so rich... and to think now that these are being made to serve what appears to be a racist movement in India. The breeding ground of fascism in inequality. Once people have nothing they will cling on to their identities and to things which are intrinsic. Like race, like nationality, and then these can be made to motivate them into doing stupid things. Education does not preclude you from idiocy.

I was chatting to Jonathan last night and we were joking about the drawing which I made on the blackboard. They were of the Root Children being tended by Mother Earth. I had PURPOSELY left them all blond and white because I am sick and tired of the performance diversity. Diversity like gender and sexuality in service of the neoliberal market - the way environmentalists like Goodall and Attenborough are in service of the neoliberal coin which Singapore shells out. It makes me so angry so angry.

Also now it was wrong to be straight, male, white and blond and blue eyed just as it was wrong waaay back in the day to be black. That is rubbish. We have to see past the skin colour to the manipulation. This makes people who have the power terrified of giving it up. Yes it is true that people were subjugated in the colonies but they were also subjugated in the class system. They were subjugated in Ireland and they were white. Slavery existed here in Europe long before it was done elsewhere. Slavery is probably the world's oldest occupation.

So I am sick and tired of this performance virtue signalling politics. Do you realise that you made everyone here blond? Yes. Because blonds are people too. 

I still think there is a lot of movement which must take place politically of course there is but it is important that that movement is done with sensitivity. Why you may ask, they were never sensitive to us? That is because we are better than that and also we will create a dichotomy if we continue down this path. 

I am used to winter nights. They are beautiful and cold... I think this is going to be a good winter...

Last night I was walking to someone else about my situation and how I had a wobble on Monday - and they told me you are away from it. Away. I recalled how he told me I was autistic and how he recently told me I needed psychiatric help. You are sooo much better off now. Don't you feel like you can breathe? Yes, I said, yes. I can breathe. Once more. So why is he now so near you? And so near the school? I don't know... I said. He says co-parenting but he has now told Ghin that he has told Ghin he will leave it to Ghin to contact him. 

Which I think is the first decent thing he has done since all this began.

All I know is that he has done something for the wrong reason and that never ends well. I will maintain that I used to be the agent that contained his chaos and that now he is free to unleash it all over the place. He is Chaos Walking. The President of Planet Chaos. I now have some of the residual effects but I am no longer in the direct blast of it all.

Right then...

It has been good - just drawing the card and not doing anything. The reminder that Shakti accompanies me. The most powerful force in the cosmos. I am grateful. Trust my intuition, rise above my instincts, manifest my beliefs.