#155.21 - Thursday in the forest

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I now spend so much time in forests and outdoors I can recognise trees from afar simply by looking at their shapes. Ash, oak, beech, rowan, sycamore etc... it is something which I have developed. Not having be born to this or even born to this part of the world, I am pretty pleased with this. I don't think it can hurt being pleased with oneself. I know that it is not a thing which is done. But I DON'T CARE.

I was thinking about how much I now really missed Singapore. It was one thing when I could go to it once a year. In fact the last time we left we said, sure we will be back next year. That was more than a year ago. Now we won't have been back for TWO YEARS. That is just unherd of. HOWEVER, it is also the case that I am running a summer scheme and the Forest School is doing great.

Now I must go to sleep as I am waking early to do a couple of things. 

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Back in bed now. I love writing up the day in bed. I go through the day with a thousand insecurities. I don't know why it is so important that people like me. Honestly it is so stupid. Cant believe it is raining. Anyway, yes insecurities. It's so stupid. I just need to put them aside.

I was not born to be a teacher. I was not interested in teaching, not really. However... here I am a Steiner teacher. I haven't thought much more of anything. Everything just seems mental - up in the air kinda mental. I don't understand why we even have put up with this. I'm sorry but nothing is going to convince me that the virus was as bad as people said it was. It isn't going to do that. Yes, it was bad - the only thing which makes me think it was not your run of the mill virus was the way in which China reacted. The fumigation, the lock down. That is not the response of your usual SARS virus which we had been used to dealing with now. Birdflu, swineflu, etc... the media this time was not going to let this go without a fight. And fight they did. The documentary on anti-vaxxers was insane. I found it atrocious how biased it was. It was actually embarrassing to the person who made the documentary. That there can be no doubt about the harm which vaccines can do is just an example of how the cult of science has gone from something which was good to something which is a regime.

Right. I need to organise myself and sort things out. I should do that over the next few days. Time for bed now.


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