#308 - Back on course

Ghin's homework... my son, the artist

I have been up since 2.30 - I did some reading, tried to get back to sleep and then finally gave up. Which means that by 2 pm this afternoon I will be very very sleepy. 

Last night I was doing my class prep with Ghin drawing in front of me. I was so impressed with his sketch. It is so alive and fresh and he did it with just his eye, practically with no erasing - just honestly, he has such an incredible eye.

Yesterday was better. I think that the terrible headache I had was due to the new supplements I took. So no more new supplements. Just my green tea and my Vit C.

Went running yesterday - it was dry but cold. I love running. Then I got into my Harapan trousers and they fitted wonderfully. So I'm back on course. It has taken me about a month and a half to lose say, around five pounds. So, if I continue doing this - no dieting, but no booze and little cheese, and running daily, sleeping well, I will lose another five pounds in another month and a half. 

It is the fitness though. Being fit is incredible. And I really feel it. Bit by bit, I am coming back. Scrubbed and shiny. You know, yesterday I was utterly miserable - I did remember to give thanks for it though. It made it easier to get through the tough times, but it takes the heck outta you. I was so tired, I realised, keeping the heart open.

But it is a heart exercise.

It is warm - 13 degrees. 

So today is warm as well. The moon has brought a last burst of good weather.

I have been listening to Sting so much lately. I don't know why - the music is something from when I was beginning to wake up and discover the world and we so seldom hear him, so it is like being in a time capsule whenever I hear him.

So strange everything, I feel like Alice falling down a rabbit hole, not being afraid but seeing things as they pass. I feel a bit disconnected from everything. like I am neither here nor there... and things are passing strangely. 

Now that the moon's influence is on the wane, I am feeling relieved. I used to get so crazy during my period and the full moon, as if some demon had taken over. It wasn't helped by Peter's inability to understand anything. But it doesn't matter anymore, none of it matters. Change is coming, I can feel it blowing around me.

Yesterday in school was amazing. We did fungi and the children in Class Five just loved it. They really got it. It is so important to give this to the children at the right time, the right levels of wonder and magic. One of the girls came up to me after that and said, Stephanie can we take our field studies journal home or do we have to leave it in school? I'd like to go for a walk in Ballymenoch and look for fungi and record it there.

The truth is that I am a much better teacher now than the first time round. Please forgive me my former class. But because you were all so patient with me I am now a better teacher for the class I teach now. I can see now that it was they who were patient with me, not the other way round.

Yesterday we also did the Negative Declarations from the Papyrus of Ani. It was so funny  talking about the things which we were all guilty of. Talking too much, being angry for no reason, stealing - I suppose the ten commandments come from this as they are also a negative declarations.

And since they were given by Moses as well. Many of them are very similar to the declarations.

I suppose I need to write now my short story.

I've decided to write the stories on paper. It isn't really working using this format. I have jump started the whole thing through habit, but paper is where it really belongs and out of anyone else reading it.