#295 - 1994

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I finished watching the documentary on Tiananmen and I was in tears at several points during the protests. Something died in Asia at that point I think. I could feel the sorrow for not just the demonstrators, but those involved in the Marxist conspiracy as well.

This made me then break out the music I was given by a friend in 1994. He made a mixed tape for me with Chinese songs in it - the two stand out musicians for me were Cui Jian and Zhang Chu - both of whom I had never heard of. I listened to Zhang Chu over and over again and then bought his CD Shameful Being Left Alone. Which I brought to Ireland.

Listening to it was like going back in time.When life was freer. When there was no surveillance. When people weren't so judgmental and so desperate for approval in this incredibly neurotic way. I think that we have given up that wonderful vision. The idealism of the 80s, almost a last gasp of what took place in the late 60s and 70s, before it was conclusively crushed beneath the jackboot of neoliberalism. I think this was why I loved Ireland. It seemed like a last vestige, a last outpost... and then the Celtic Tiger took place and it was an unqualified disaster.

Then everyone was miserable for about 5 years. That was in 2007. The recovery was slow, but it is happening now... maybe a little wiser and for a spanner in the works - fucking Brexit. WHAT is Ireland going to do? Are they going to deploy troops on the border to prevent a hard border. The fucking English. You couldn't make it up. Screwing the very last colony they have. Honestly. It is just so ridiculous. Rather than say, hey this is impossible, we can't do this without throwing Ireland under the bus, they are like... yeeeaaahhhh.... whatev. Fuck you turds. Here you go - Ireland. You can go back to just murdering each other. We don't fucking care. The Irish have to get together to vote to leave the UK. There is no other way. They want to leave Europe and Ireland has to leave the UK. It is just insane.

I knew they were stupid, but I didn't realise exactly HOW STUPID they really were. Breathtakingly stupid.

Right. I am off toe bed now. This period is something else. The pain is just excruciating. I'm only still standing because of the paracetemol.

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