#1

Here is another series of photos taken by Pa

He discovered the selfie recently. I think I look so like him in photos.

Justin - our German exchange student who, for some unknown reason keeps coming back

Just before laser tag in Ormeau Park

I've started a new thing - a new song added to my Sportify playlist - one a year. I cannot explain why suddenly things appear very clear to me - what needs to be done ... it is as if a cupboard was unlocked in my brain and things appear fairly obvious.

Yesterday, a really odd thing took place - Peter cleaned a drawer in the fridge. This has never happened, not for all the time I have known him has he ever cleaned the fridge - and he did this yesterday, while asking me if we should throw food which may have stayed too long there. Wha??? I sort of looked at him, as if he was discovering the cure for cancer. I wonder if he noticed the look on my face.

We went dancing at The Black Box last night. It was such a great way to welcome in the New Year. This year, for some reason, feels weirdly good. Normally I never think of 1 Jan as the beginning of a year, but this year, it feels very filled with resolve. I cannot explain it.

So, here I am, writing. And then I'm heading home. After that I'm going for a walk with Kelly and her son. And then, I'm going to check my journal to see what needs to be done.

But seeing Ma and Pa this time round in Belfast was just so interesting. Isn't it weird that of all the places in the world which they - especially Ma - has become familiar with - possibly even more familiar than Singapore cos Singapore has changed so much, it is Ireland. She knows Derry, Belfast and Inishowen so well. She still talk so fondly about staying in the caravan to help me out when Oisin was born. I remember those days so well. And am so grateful to her. I was not a young mother at all, but I was still very very lost and thanks to Ma, she made sure that I was fine - more than fine. I don't know if I could ever be as good a mother to grown up Oisin and Ghin. It is clear that the duty is not discharged at 18 or 21, but continues through all of life.

And I don't know if i'll be able to do it for them.

I suppose there is a small part of me that hopes that I won't have to - but who knows what life has lined up for us?

And Pa? Well, there he is... we had to split them up in different cars once and Oisin said to me, Mama is so lost without Kong Kong. It was a true observation. The both of them are so attached to each other - just seeing them makes me realise that they have drawn their strength from each other. It is a wonderful thing to have. And also just not for me in this life.

Well, I have done what I said I'd do - write a blog a day. I am now going to go home and go for a run. Cos I said I'd do that. And I think that piano playing is on the cards at some point too.