#5
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| Us in Bangor - and a rainbow |
Was a day that seemed to last forever, like woodsmoke after a fire has been extinguished. And that seemed another unasked for surprise. On the last day of the holidays we got up at Ma's house. We hadn't gone home last night. It was 8 am when we shook the sleep from our eyes and decided to head back. I kissed the door of the bedroom and thanks the house for looking after us another night. Then we got into the car and drove home.
I wrote and then ran, and then after that - it was 10.30, I had intended to go to Derry, but Ghin was too sick to travel. So we ate ate General Merchants and then headed around the Ards Peninsula. Everytime I drive the peninsula, or visit it, I understand it more and more. For such a small piece of land, it is so rich in history. And it has some geological quirks as well. The tide tides inside Strangford and an hour behind the tide times on the Irish Sea because of the narrow entrance to the Lough. So you could drive along the Newtownards- Geryabbey Road and the tide could be completely full - the Brent bobbing close to the edge - and then you cut across the Peninsula and in Ballyhalbert/water, the tide has started going out. It is really quite something.
After that we went home, and Oisin was awake and needed to get out. So we went to TK Maxx - there they spent some of their vouchers on things like bags, dressing gowns, stuff like that. I got more chicken for dinner later that night. Then we went to KFC where only Oisin and I ate. Oisin told me how he was banned from Easons and I got annoyed with him. Then we headed home where I finished the last episode of The Last Kingdom. Ghin was still not great. I made dinner at 6.15 and we ate at 7 pm. Oisin, despite having slept, got up to join us. Ghin worsened and after dinner I made a Slippery Elm porridge with Ben's honey and apple juice for him. This made him feel much better - enough to have toast. We watched Gravity and then we both went to bed. I did wake up at 2 am - and slept at 5 am after binging on Silent Witness.
And then I had the weirdest dreams. I pay far less attention to them than I used to. I love having them, but don't live inside them the following morning. I have also noticed, having spent SOME time away from FB that I find FB a bit weird. I think maybe I'll take a break from it.
After this I'll go for my run and do laundry. Then I'll have breakfast.
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Running yesterday, I thought of the starlings in the trees - how they looked like eyes - eyes watching, and it made me think of Argos, the giant with a hundred eyes who was used to by Hera to spy on Zeus and how he was killed by the same - and Hera turned Argos into a peacock. And how the trees was like a strange, barren peacock with many many starling like eyes.
And I also looked at my hands last night and they have been particularly damaged over the holidays between the cat and cooking and yesterday I had cut my finger slicing the jamon. Dipping it in honey twice healed the wound perfectly. It is now a wound of several days old. Magical honey. I am always in awe of its properties. We use the healing power of nature everyday. From Slipper Elm to honey, garlic to water - I am so grateful that we are able to work this way.
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It is now time for school. Days pass, days always pass and what matters, I now think is - that we spend them in peace and fruitfully. But really fruitfully, not some made up nonsense - although, sometimes made up nonsense does make people happy.
No, there are two levels of spending days - in peace doing things you enjoy, and sometimes this may be made up nonsense - that's level one and in peace doing fruitful things, which are truly fruitful. That's the ideal, really.
I find writing at 5 am is far better than writing at any other time. I think at 5 am my brain is working differently. Well, I find it far more satisfying - it is somehow deeper, more spiritual, at 5 am.
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It does not matter, what today will bring.
The heft and weight of the dawn,
its raw grain, the blond glimmering wood,
stands to be altered by transformation.
I rise, chisel and hammer in hand,
Steadying myself for the work to be done.
More this way, and less that, a tender chip,
or - ruthless hack.
There must be splintering and shattering -
and sap runneth over. In the heart
of a Titan, a groaning acceptance emerges,
our sacrifice is made in the minutes of the day.
My hands too bleed - yet honey drips from above
- for all the pain you endure, there is
sweetness enough to heal - be not afraid
and wield our time with courage.
So the work of a lifetime is hewn over
the risings and settings of days - and its
months, seasons, years - and its every second,
shaped by device, but redeemed through
desperation and grace.
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| The beech tree outside the house which has the starlings |
Poem, #5
I know these poems aren't very good, but i promised myself I would write something and not care if they were good or not. Hopefully by the end of this year I will have 365 poems. How wonderful that would be if that was the case?
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