#14
Two weeks and I am hoping this morning meet up with the angel is habit. I prised myself outta bed to be here - drink my glass of water before it all begins and.... viola!
Yesterday was very very good. It began with me feeling blah and through a sheer act of will I started cleaning the house. It began very gently - first a wipe down of the oven which was a mess and then it moved on to laundry - folding and washing (4 loads, if you must know), followed by dusting my room, hoovering, cleaning the bathroom, I did rhe weekly food shop, stayed in budget, cooked meals - twice, lunch and dinner - and swept the kitchen floor. All of these things sound very small, but together they have made a huge difference to the house. It feels so clean and rested. I am still not totally so I have decided to not run until this Saturday. Meanwhile all those running times will be converted into cleaning - that was actually how I began the cleaning yesterday, I was so desperate to run but couldn't, so I cleaned instead.
It is awful when someone is mean to you, it is like being kicked in the stomach. Imagine people in this country have made it their duty to kick a sizeable part of the population their duty for years and years... the mind boggles really. Not everyone of course, but just enough for people to go to war for it for years and years.
Such a beautiful country, such crazy people.
Morning. Everyday the light gets a little earlier - I do this, morning for the spring. I do this, for the mornings. I do this for the things which bring me meaning. The more I discover about things, which I have had to do since being a Steiner teacher the more I realise how we are going about everything the wrong way. We have created cities and structures which are untenable and given people expectations which can never be fulfilled or met or indeed are even good for them. And I have to confess that even if I know what I am doing, I am really not sure what I am doing next or indeed if anything is currently the best use of my time. So that's a huge question. I think for this week I will just concentrate on getting better and getting the routines in place - continuing that.
And then see what happens. This week I am cleaning the house and thinking about redecoration, that is what I am doing.
There was wind yesterday.
There is no meaning really. No meaning at all in our lives. Not beyond the one we choose to invest in it, and that is becoming clear. Right, I have to get ready for the rest of the day. A part of me feels like it isn't ready to begin as yet. A part of me wants another two weeks of holidays, by myself this time, but I am not going to have that.
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Cleaning the house is always a good start. I just need to keep going.
Yesterday was very very good. It began with me feeling blah and through a sheer act of will I started cleaning the house. It began very gently - first a wipe down of the oven which was a mess and then it moved on to laundry - folding and washing (4 loads, if you must know), followed by dusting my room, hoovering, cleaning the bathroom, I did rhe weekly food shop, stayed in budget, cooked meals - twice, lunch and dinner - and swept the kitchen floor. All of these things sound very small, but together they have made a huge difference to the house. It feels so clean and rested. I am still not totally so I have decided to not run until this Saturday. Meanwhile all those running times will be converted into cleaning - that was actually how I began the cleaning yesterday, I was so desperate to run but couldn't, so I cleaned instead.
It is awful when someone is mean to you, it is like being kicked in the stomach. Imagine people in this country have made it their duty to kick a sizeable part of the population their duty for years and years... the mind boggles really. Not everyone of course, but just enough for people to go to war for it for years and years.
Such a beautiful country, such crazy people.
Morning. Everyday the light gets a little earlier - I do this, morning for the spring. I do this, for the mornings. I do this for the things which bring me meaning. The more I discover about things, which I have had to do since being a Steiner teacher the more I realise how we are going about everything the wrong way. We have created cities and structures which are untenable and given people expectations which can never be fulfilled or met or indeed are even good for them. And I have to confess that even if I know what I am doing, I am really not sure what I am doing next or indeed if anything is currently the best use of my time. So that's a huge question. I think for this week I will just concentrate on getting better and getting the routines in place - continuing that.
And then see what happens. This week I am cleaning the house and thinking about redecoration, that is what I am doing.
There was wind yesterday.
There is no meaning really. No meaning at all in our lives. Not beyond the one we choose to invest in it, and that is becoming clear. Right, I have to get ready for the rest of the day. A part of me feels like it isn't ready to begin as yet. A part of me wants another two weeks of holidays, by myself this time, but I am not going to have that.
===============
Cleaning the house is always a good start. I just need to keep going.
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