#25
Yesterday's Nice Thing: Visiting a friend/s house to wish her happy birthday
Time passes, that we can be sure. I cannot understand this idea that time can move backwards and forwards. I understand it is relative, it feels relative, but it is only relative to the clock. But that we can recover time - ? It doesn't make sense. Time is an illusion only because we have something to measure it by - otherwise... all I know is that it passes and it does so in a straight line. There is a past present and future - I understand that there are several presents and several pasts and several futures and I understand the desire for a multiverse theory - but really, I don't subscribe to anything like that taking place in my experience. There are differing points of view. But that has nothing to do with time, that occurs within time.
I have looked at the idea that within a singularity we can dip in and out of time, that time bends back into itself, but that of course is theoretical - and there is the idea that WE live in a singularity, that the Earth is in a singularity since we are all alone in the universe, apparently - but to me these are all about the same as the way in which we tell ourselves stories - the myths we have in order to explain our lives - and they actually make more sense.
In fact, our wish that time is not linear is the most human of longings. It is the same longing that makes us consult fortune tellers, visit mediums, read tarot cards, play the lotto... it is the same longing that makes us construct these concepts, these ideas - that we can and will be able to somehow peer into that elusive fourth dimension and bring back or know what will happen...
Why am I so philosophical though? Because I am getting to the stage in my life when people around me are getting ill - and seriously ill. Of course, it is always cancer or a tumour. It is always cancer. It no longer has the stigma it once had, but the power it has to force us to look into the future or think of the past - and lose our foothold in the present - it is still tremendous. And the pain - the pain -
I can't say anything for those who have this now - but it just reminds me to live in the present always.
Today I struggled to get up and come here. Well, I say struggle, but really, it was 5.15.when I got here, so it wasn't much of a struggle. But I was bone tired today. I didn't go running on Wednesday nor yesterday - Wednesday because of the ice and yesterday because, I have no excuse - well, I was writing a play - I couldn't decide what I should do for the Main Lesson and I finally decided yesterday morning, so I spent the time doing the play - and it was good because they had a great time acting and today we can do tenses so they can see how fluid language is, learning grammar in situ. We create our own resources - tailormade to the class. It is something I just do - apart from maths, because people are much better at it than I.
I feel sad today - and that's ok. I feel sad because of the sadness that other people go through. I feel like I stand apart when this happens. I don't know how this works. And some people seem to go through so much sadness as well. For some people their lives seem to be so filled with the burdens of others - and I do feel quite guilty that I live in relative comfort. I mean I have my own shit, of course, but really, sometimes I wonder how anyone can bear so much of pain.
The struggle is real guys, it is.
Well, I am going to end here and do the circle and then I am going to go for my run. I have had some water and coffee in me and I love my running...
Oh winter, wilt thou never end?
Time passes, that we can be sure. I cannot understand this idea that time can move backwards and forwards. I understand it is relative, it feels relative, but it is only relative to the clock. But that we can recover time - ? It doesn't make sense. Time is an illusion only because we have something to measure it by - otherwise... all I know is that it passes and it does so in a straight line. There is a past present and future - I understand that there are several presents and several pasts and several futures and I understand the desire for a multiverse theory - but really, I don't subscribe to anything like that taking place in my experience. There are differing points of view. But that has nothing to do with time, that occurs within time.
I have looked at the idea that within a singularity we can dip in and out of time, that time bends back into itself, but that of course is theoretical - and there is the idea that WE live in a singularity, that the Earth is in a singularity since we are all alone in the universe, apparently - but to me these are all about the same as the way in which we tell ourselves stories - the myths we have in order to explain our lives - and they actually make more sense.
In fact, our wish that time is not linear is the most human of longings. It is the same longing that makes us consult fortune tellers, visit mediums, read tarot cards, play the lotto... it is the same longing that makes us construct these concepts, these ideas - that we can and will be able to somehow peer into that elusive fourth dimension and bring back or know what will happen...
Why am I so philosophical though? Because I am getting to the stage in my life when people around me are getting ill - and seriously ill. Of course, it is always cancer or a tumour. It is always cancer. It no longer has the stigma it once had, but the power it has to force us to look into the future or think of the past - and lose our foothold in the present - it is still tremendous. And the pain - the pain -
I can't say anything for those who have this now - but it just reminds me to live in the present always.
Today I struggled to get up and come here. Well, I say struggle, but really, it was 5.15.when I got here, so it wasn't much of a struggle. But I was bone tired today. I didn't go running on Wednesday nor yesterday - Wednesday because of the ice and yesterday because, I have no excuse - well, I was writing a play - I couldn't decide what I should do for the Main Lesson and I finally decided yesterday morning, so I spent the time doing the play - and it was good because they had a great time acting and today we can do tenses so they can see how fluid language is, learning grammar in situ. We create our own resources - tailormade to the class. It is something I just do - apart from maths, because people are much better at it than I.
I feel sad today - and that's ok. I feel sad because of the sadness that other people go through. I feel like I stand apart when this happens. I don't know how this works. And some people seem to go through so much sadness as well. For some people their lives seem to be so filled with the burdens of others - and I do feel quite guilty that I live in relative comfort. I mean I have my own shit, of course, but really, sometimes I wonder how anyone can bear so much of pain.
The struggle is real guys, it is.
Well, I am going to end here and do the circle and then I am going to go for my run. I have had some water and coffee in me and I love my running...
Oh winter, wilt thou never end?
Comments