#18
Yesterday's Nice Thing: I am starting to learn to knit in a round, catching up with friends
I woke up late today - when I say late I mean 5.45 and such is life now that I MUST do this before doing anything else. The term is beginning to take shape, as it often does by the end of the second week. Things are running themselves in and I have trips to Derry and other places for February.
Tomorrow I go running then - after writing and it will be in the forest - I want to start there. I can't wait. I still have a cough but I can't not not run any more.
Learning something new is always wonderful - and if it was something I always wanted to do it is even better. How beautiful is the world. Writing this everyday was such a good idea, I can't only highly recommend it - and starting it off with the one nice thing is even better. It just starts the day right.
It really helps to refocus things correctly, reminds me of what I should be concentrating on, and not getting distracted by the stupid things, the things which don't count.
I love life - I love the beauty that comes from the entire universe both seen and unseen. Today I had the weird sadness pains again and I let them flow through my body and as they did so, it transformed into the most gorgeous sensations of love. I can't explain it. Over the past year, there is a feeling of growing stronger and really sitting with and understanding my feelings - controlling it, but not backing down either. And this has especially accelerated over the past month.
It's hard to understand isn't it?
I'd never thought I'd say this, but that sound of the rain is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. And talking about hearing things, I now listen to Sportify's Discover Weekly and it's brilliant too - I am listening to new music, music I have never heard before and slowly learning about things which I like and want to keep because I have started a playlist called 2019. I was hoping to put one song per day into it, instead I am now putting around 3 songs a day - which really is a lot. But it is so nice to have music back in my life again.
It is difficult not to fall into old habits though, and by old habits I mean being distracted by what the world says is important - i.e influence, importance, power and wealth. All these things are ludicrous. Yesterday I did Eleanor of Aquitaine with the kids and they were totally amused. That is seriously messed up Stephanie, they said to me. Yes, who'd want to be Eleanor of Aquitaine? Not I.
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Where have the days gone, I asked myself. Where have they disappeared to? Closer and closer to the end of the time we have here, which could be no time at all. Or it could be much longer, too long. All I know is that when I realise I am about to die, I want to die with no regrets.
There are very few things I DO regret. Very few. But I have discovered I can rectify things which I regret, by simply letting them go. Let. Them. Go. And transform them - if anyone is lucky enough to live long after the thing which they regret, it can be transformed. I know this now. So time is a gift. Time is the thing which is given to us to heal us. To bring us redemption.
I love that word, redemption. And redemption is entirely up to you. No one is going to redeem you - not really, not truly. Redemption only really occurs when you allow yourself to forgive and save yourself. It is a tale as old as time itself.
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God, honestly, I did not think I was going to have this insight today. This is what comes from keeping your appointment with your angel. Today I am going to retrieve the fiction I was reading - Flann O Brien. It was incredibly intriguing and very inspiring. It reminded me of Kafka. I love Kafka.
I woke up late today - when I say late I mean 5.45 and such is life now that I MUST do this before doing anything else. The term is beginning to take shape, as it often does by the end of the second week. Things are running themselves in and I have trips to Derry and other places for February.
Tomorrow I go running then - after writing and it will be in the forest - I want to start there. I can't wait. I still have a cough but I can't not not run any more.
Learning something new is always wonderful - and if it was something I always wanted to do it is even better. How beautiful is the world. Writing this everyday was such a good idea, I can't only highly recommend it - and starting it off with the one nice thing is even better. It just starts the day right.
It really helps to refocus things correctly, reminds me of what I should be concentrating on, and not getting distracted by the stupid things, the things which don't count.
I love life - I love the beauty that comes from the entire universe both seen and unseen. Today I had the weird sadness pains again and I let them flow through my body and as they did so, it transformed into the most gorgeous sensations of love. I can't explain it. Over the past year, there is a feeling of growing stronger and really sitting with and understanding my feelings - controlling it, but not backing down either. And this has especially accelerated over the past month.
It's hard to understand isn't it?
I'd never thought I'd say this, but that sound of the rain is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. And talking about hearing things, I now listen to Sportify's Discover Weekly and it's brilliant too - I am listening to new music, music I have never heard before and slowly learning about things which I like and want to keep because I have started a playlist called 2019. I was hoping to put one song per day into it, instead I am now putting around 3 songs a day - which really is a lot. But it is so nice to have music back in my life again.
It is difficult not to fall into old habits though, and by old habits I mean being distracted by what the world says is important - i.e influence, importance, power and wealth. All these things are ludicrous. Yesterday I did Eleanor of Aquitaine with the kids and they were totally amused. That is seriously messed up Stephanie, they said to me. Yes, who'd want to be Eleanor of Aquitaine? Not I.
==================
Where have the days gone, I asked myself. Where have they disappeared to? Closer and closer to the end of the time we have here, which could be no time at all. Or it could be much longer, too long. All I know is that when I realise I am about to die, I want to die with no regrets.
There are very few things I DO regret. Very few. But I have discovered I can rectify things which I regret, by simply letting them go. Let. Them. Go. And transform them - if anyone is lucky enough to live long after the thing which they regret, it can be transformed. I know this now. So time is a gift. Time is the thing which is given to us to heal us. To bring us redemption.
I love that word, redemption. And redemption is entirely up to you. No one is going to redeem you - not really, not truly. Redemption only really occurs when you allow yourself to forgive and save yourself. It is a tale as old as time itself.
===================
God, honestly, I did not think I was going to have this insight today. This is what comes from keeping your appointment with your angel. Today I am going to retrieve the fiction I was reading - Flann O Brien. It was incredibly intriguing and very inspiring. It reminded me of Kafka. I love Kafka.
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