#109 - The Holidays are over

The Easter branch this year - finally completed it yesterday

 I had much fun doing it - partlu inspired by what I could find around the house

i.e. sequins and geegaws e.g. buttons and partly inspired by Faberge i.e. sequins and geegaws

Oisín informed us he was leaving tomorrow yesterday 

That was super quick

Easter branch by night

The dark blue was used on brown eggs and the pastel blue was used on ducks'. 

These are two colours which are found on eggs in nature

I woke up sad today. Mostly because Oisín is leaving for Norwich tomorrow. The news came suddenly. He was supposed to go next week and a trip planned with Peter was cancelled. I asked him if he had booked his flight yet and he said no. Then he went up stairs and booked it. You told me to! he said. No, I said it was supposed to be next week!

Well he said, it was a cheap flight. Look I can't complain. I have no leg to stand on when it comes to children deserting their parents. He is welcome to stay for as long as he needs to but I know that he will want to get back to his own independent life. And honestly, he is COMPLETELY independent. If I dropped dead tomorrow I know that Oisín will be alright.

Yesterday was a very quiet one. For the first time in a month I did not don my running gear and go out. I think the diarrhea took its toll on me. I did however complete the Easter branch, saw to Ghin's wart, and cleaned the kitchen. I also did the autism course online. It has given me a lot to think about.

In general, in a classroom there are many differing abilities. There are children who are academically very able. Without even trying. I'm not even going to go into the so called geniuses, people who excel at this. Just regular able to do stuff and can do more if you push them. These are about 30%. Then there are those who are alright. They are able to do something if you explain it to them a few times and they get it eventually. There are around 30%. Then there are those whose abilities do not lie in whatever traditional academics can offer them. These kids will need hand holding but eventually if they do not give up, they will be able to work things out and be happy for the rest of their lives. They are also 30%. The 10% - are split at the top and bottom.

Children which ADHD and Autism/Aspergers are scattered through this. Perhaps they make up 1 - 5% of any class. It affects their lives differently too - for instance, there are children who have this profoundly. Also ADHD and Autism/Aspergers are very different. I don't know why they have been lumped in the same category whenever people talk. Then there is the undiscussed issue of mental health e.g personality disorder - how far is it autism with malicious obsessions and parenting - the inability to set boundaries, create healthy rhythms, adults who are unable to parent, neglect, etc. Of course there is also just straightforward disability for instance, a child who has had a lack of oxygen to the brain during birth? 

My interest in this is as a Steiner teacher and a human being. As a human being, of course everyone must be cared for. Everyone needs to be given the space and opportunity to bring what they have into this world and it must be devoid of medicalisation and labeling i.e. they are to be accepted for themselves and the people they depend on must be given support without being made to feel that for some reason their child is less.

As a Steiner teacher, my interest is creating a classroom space which is conducive for learning and nourishing their being, their person. 

For the milder 'cases' of ADHD and autism, the way we teach, the aesthetics, the ability to tailor lessons to the interest of the child, the ability to look after the classroom and steer it accordingly, will probably ameliorate the most difficult aspects of children who have these conditions and struggles. The only problem occurs when you have to deal with their cruelty on the rest of the class. This will never happen again. I will recognise the signs and nip these things in the bud INSTANTLY. I now know that if a child is behaving in an unusually unkind manner it has nothing to do with autism/ADHD UNLESS it is one which fixates on being unkind, in which case it is no longer a straightforward Autism/ADHD issue, but one which involves environmental and background issues. And also I think at that point it is no longer these conditions, but a psychiatric condition. I have made many mistakes in the past around troubled families - I won't say children. Children are only troubled if they have troubled families - whatever that constellation of family takes - whether it is adoption, their original family, poor parenting, etc. If a child is giving any of those problems in school in the future it will be an immediate conversation with their parents. And if that is too difficult for the parent, then the class cannot be made to mop up their shortcomings. We can all learn, we are here to learn in fact - that is rather the point of life - to make mistakes and to learn. 

Why is there more now so called autism? In the past what happened to these people? Were they just labelled as eccentric? Loners? Bullied? Shunned? Trashed? Now that we are more inclusive, we must make way for everyone. Of course added to this are the learning difficulties e.g. dyslexia and dyscalculia. These things I think I know how to address and address it I shall in the future. 

Such is life.

Now the AI is offering me writing courses and clothes it thinks I will buy. I have not bought clothes for a very long time mostly because I have a whole wardrobe of clothes which are waiting for me to fit into them again. And I going to do that not through a secret pooping habit, but by good old fashioned exercise and sensible eating - and cutting out the booze. Already I am exactly where I thought I would be a week ago. The rest of April should be more of the same, especially since I'm going to do Ramadan - have breakfast, drink water through the day, have a simple meal in the evening. I don't understand these massive Ramadan feasts you get at hotels in Malaysia. Surely that is the antithesis of Ramadan... having massive amounts of food. I know that to really do Ramadan you are not supposed to drink any water either. I have no idea how they do it. I am not going to do that. Water and tea and coffee... but nothing else during the day time.

So that's it for today. Tomorrow will be classroom time and today, I will continue with my Autism module, Irish and also start looking at lesson plans for the rest of half term. And do some elements work. The days are long indeed, but you know, these holidays have been very very short. I don't really know where they went to to be honest. I mean I loved having the boys around, it felt like I did do stuff, but really... where did it all go? No matter I did record it all everyday, so I do know where it went. 

I'm so glad I did Lent. It has been such a great start to my new life. Very grateful I have that in my life. I wonder if so much of the malaise which people have is due to not having a spirituality - not a religion, but a spirituality, where they do not regard the world as sacred, and by extension themselves as sacred? Sometimes I look at the ways people have reacted to the pandemic and think things may have been a lot better if people had a better connection to living instead of consumption. Ah well, imponderables indeed. Time for the run.