#115.21 - Beautiful Sundays

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I have had the best weekend before school ever. Yes, I was nervous, and yes I felt I was unprepared but when I started getting ready I did feel much much better. 

Usually when I start doing this I end up beating myself up for not doing things earlier, not doing more, etc BUT this time round I was, I enjoyed myself. I get to enjoy myself and just take things easy. To have this time for me. I get to do that. That's NICE.

So I enjoyed myself.

The running today was amazing, again. It is strange how I make these tiny improvements everyday. Even in the stretching and sit ups... everyday there are small bouts of progress. Tomorrow Ramadan begins to I'm going to use it to fast for the month. 

I helped Emma with her car and we ended up in Groomsport. It was such a gorgeous day... then after that I went to school, did the drawing and then ended up back home to fall asleep for a short while before I organised everything.

I feel wonderful really. It has been such a long time since I have felt so positive. It was weird today after I had the hot bath and fell asleep, I felt weirdly exhausted, like I had a hangover, which is weird since I haven't been drinking for months now. I'm not about to start either. Just zero interest. I told Emma today that not only have I stopped drinking I don't crave meat any longer which is very strange for me.

Tomorrow Ghin and I will have to go shopping. I have loads of lentils... I'd love a lentil soup but much will depend on Ghin. He is such a sweetheart. I miss him so much when he isn't here. 

Oisín has made it back to East Anglia. I think he's good. He is doing so well really. I can't really ask for more. I wrote a whole list of things, recovered my tracks, organised stuff... lots of organising to do tomorrow. Today as I tidied the classroom, I felt how ... ah that's why I was tired ... because I was organising the classroom. It is strange isn't it? Anyway, the sensation of my clothes being loose with give in them is second to none. I am going to hold back getting my other clothes back on again until the end of this month. There is only two more weeks left really... hard to believe I know... well, two and a bit. 

I had these last two months, I will always, ALWAYS be grateful for that. Perhaps my complete lack of interest in drinking has a lot to do with me no longer being stressed out now that I have my own space? Perhaps that's it. It must be.

Well, 4 am tomorrow. Writing and running at 6 am. 

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