8.2.26 - 47 - Taste

Sunshine finally. 

Is the problem really that these people have no taste? They literally have no taste. Everything about their aesthetic is just so awful. Everything you see - nothing is enviable about the life they lead - unless you are devoid of taste.

People confuse taste with expense. If you spend lots of money on it, then it must be nice. No. No. Nothing is further from the truth. The simplest things are the most beautiful - like sunrises, the sound of the rain falling on a roof, the grace and danger found in fire. The ocean's mesmeric lapping. Perhaps that is the secret of Ancient Greece. Or the ancient world. The dawn of our ability to perceive beauty then captured for a brief moment in an Egyptian frieze, a Persian wall, a Greek statue - that moment in time. After that - we only have glimpses.

I listened to this ridiculous story about a bull's head mask - made of rubber, of course. How uneducated and crude these people are. Naked people doing 'rituals' - or thinking they are doing rituals. It is so ridiculous. Also clearly access to lots of money only buys you a one way ticket to stupidity. Imagine having this conversation where you are saying, oh yes, we are going to do a 'black mass' and we are going to engage in joyless illicit sex. It's mad. These people have arrested development. They never stopped being teenagers. Only now they are teenagers with the deep pockets which enable them to do idiotic things. There is just no joy in the lives of these people. Andrew must have known all this too and he kept his mouth shut. If Epstein is dead it was killing the chicken to frighten the monkeys.

Let's just leave it at that. People are fucking idiots.

If all this money did bring them happiness, then at least it would be something. But it does not bring them happiness. It only brings them misery and the more money they have, the emptier they feel inside. But that's their problem. Not my circus, right?

It was amusing yesterday when the police stopped me. They asked me for my driving license. Which I duly produced while wearing reading glasses and then they checked my tax and insurance and asked me if I had taxed and insured the car myself. I said, yeesss.... and he said, this is not a trick question. I wanted to ask him so why does it sound like a trick question? 

Oisín and I went to Hillsbrough yesterday. It was very busy. It is a nice little place. Has many shops which look not quite real. They must have a very strict policy around chains and bargain shops. No B&M and Lidl here - you want that you can go to Lisburn which seems like the polar opposite of Hillsbrough despite being less than 10 miles from it.

I shall now go to check out the great oak and then clean the forest school equipment. It's about time. Sorting the garage out.

I have decided that I will now wear my hair in a big bun like old timey grannies. 

It has been one week since I have used shampoo on my hair. It has been a rosemary and lemon rinse after the hair mask. The hair smells so lovely. 

I did have white wine over Friday and Saturday. And I did have a lemon meringue at Mill View yesterday with Oisín. That and a black coffee.

It has stopped raining and the sun is out. I think that's the only sunshine now for the next week. Hopefully more comes online, it is hard to tell really with this part of the world.

I was feeling so miserable this morning but I think it may be linked with the weather. I'm feeling instantly better now that the sun is peeping out. 

I am not going to obsess about the Epstein files anymore. I have learnt all I need to about them. To whit: there is no place these people would not go to. White boomer men - or their equivalents - are totally gross. As are their enablers and fawners. They needed a whole army to cater to their whims and desires. To clean up after them, bury their secrets, make them feel important. It's pathetic.

I don't need to know anymore. In many ways that story about the bull mask is the final veil dropping. It falls and it falls. I am so glad that I had nothing to do with any of this. Nothing to do with the greasy, disgusting world of kompromat and corruption. 

I watch the birds pick at the food I have put out for them and it is pure bliss. In many ways I am relieved. It is over and over and over. 

This world is over. This world of failed statesmen and secret keepers and disgusting assholes - it is all over. 

Thank god.