12.4.26 - 109 - Sigh

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Finally, writing

So the news was not good from the clinic - another week in bandages. So I am now moving from the denial stage to the acceptance and what the fuck am I gonna do about any of this stage?

I am now looking down the barrel of a week and feeling the length and heft of it. I am utterly trapped - and I am also feeling incredibly miserable.

For all the right and wrong reasons.

Non sequitur - I looked up the Enneagram today thinking of my number which was 4 - and I think that this is a load of bollocks. If I had to go back to doing this again I would say I don't identify strongly with any one of these numbers, but it could also mean that I have grown since I did it. I am not one of these strongly and completely.

But, I need to think of a strategy or I will go completely bonkers here. I can do I walking daily but poor Ma. I think we are going to have to move cooking once a day to our daily schedule after all.

Simple dishes she can do which we can eat for the day. Mama's Dapur is going to have to be opened everyday for all our sakes.

Maybe today we can make Babi Assam finally... we'll see.

So, here it goes

Mass        Blog

Breakfast with Jac

Exercise  Walk

                Shop for lunch

Cook lunch

Rest        Rest

               Admin/ Write/ Draw

Discuss dinner

               Buy dinner

Cook dinner

Dinner 

Watch TV

             Admin

So that is our day. The day which is now going to be the day which we have. Since I can't take Ma out I have to keep her busy. Tomorrow Jac comes and she will take us out and she's doing BBQ on Friday.

So she has offered me the space for doing storytelling and some art/ craft type activity. So I was thinking I could do a 4 week storytelling and water colour for six - seven year olds. Especially since there's not a lot of art in this part of the world. Not real art anyway.

We could do introductions to water colours - and the mood of colours.

I could do telling a story and the actual art - we could have five to eight/ ten children and I could handle that. 

I'd teach them how to handle materials, get water ready, use the paper for wet on wet painting. 

Staying in his love... I placed a flower before him and I really felt how much he wasn't here. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for Ma. We have planned the menu for today which is Babi Assam and timun salad. I said to Ma we should do Mama's Dapur since we aren't getting out. That would be the best thing. And it is the best thing. 

And meanwhile I could do a wet on wet course for 6 to 7 y o s - with storytelling and use of materials. A four week course where the children learn to use the materials and respect it. Plus it has a therapeutic effect. It will also help detain retained reflexes - and I could do that with storytelling and extra lesson work. So we could start with circle time, and extra lesson activities to help with retained reflexes, to aid school readiness, and then watercolour sessions. That will take one and a half hours though.

I could do five to ten children BUT I don't know if I need to have another person there for child protection purposes.

See how la.

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