A tough week

The sacrifice of Issac

It's been a tough week with the reactions to the killings in Paris. It now feels like it is the sane minded people against the loonies in general. Those who believe that violence is the solution - and i include everyone who advocates some kind of violence be it political, military, cultural or social - the governments who wage war without end and the people who have responded to this in kind. Like the response to the economic meltdowns of the last two decades, when there was an opportunity to say, this ain't working guv, we must do something different, something honest and kind and generous, it simply has been more of the same. And like with the economic meltdown, they have now started making things up to justify their neurotic behaviour. Such as the man - the 'terrorism' 'expert' interviewed on Fox - who said Birmingham was a no-go zone to non-Muslims.

I have actually been really upset with all of this because this people have been distracted from the real issue and during this time the EU has relaxed laws around GMOs in Europe. A sense of desperation has been created around our existence and like all desperate people, the public now will believe in anything. It is not unlike the hysteria which Arthur Miller depicts in his play The Crucible. Desperate people will believe anything. And often their hope is not one of openness or surrender, but that of siege and closing in.

Who loses? Do the loonies and the supporters of loonies ever stop to ask, who loses? (I call them loonies because surely, they must remember on some level that this was not what they or anyone else was born into this world to do. They must and why then do they not do renounce their own doctrines of seperation and fear and hate to fulfill their heart's destiny? To not do this in the face of such massive system failure is crazy behaviour.) Who loses in the long run? EVERYONE does. We lose a great deal many things, but the biggest thing we lose is love. And what is the point if we do not have love travelling in our veins? Instead we have suspicion, anger, jealousy. What is the point? There is no point in asking who gains, because it is obvious who does. But we must admit as the shit hits the fan, it is the universe telling us that whatever we are doing is not working, and if we continue this way we lose everything.

So this week, i was mostly very upset.

My thoughts reach out to my friends, far and wide. Indonesia, the Middle East, France, Singapore, Australia, South America, Ireland, Europe... and i see the faces and hear the voices of the children i work with everyday and my own children. Their souls so shiny and bright and so full of the possible and impossible. My heart is sustained, bouyed up, kept alive by their love which is so beautiful... for them, for them and for my friends and family and for those of us who hold on to love. Because we have no choice, Because we must. Because i would rather die in love than live in bitterness, because the bitter life is not worth living. A half life - lived in fear.

So, anyway, i was reading Emile Bock's Genesis. That man must have spent all his life reading and writing - oh and travelling as well. But the book is an anthroposophical interpretation of the Old Testament. There are parts which are VERY interesting. Such as the metaphorical nature of many of the events in Genesis. The theme of redemption, sacrifice and transformation. It is replayed over and over again in Genesis through the Creation, the Fall, the mythologies of Adam and Eve and the patriarchs up to Noah and then Abram, Issac, Lot and Jacob. Stories which are truly horrific are given context and explained and in that way, the Old Testament has that fairytale quality of dealing with archetypes. The events are both literal and non-literal. The story of suffering, transformation and redemption occurs all the time in our lives - so it is literal - the way it is seen through the lens of the stories in the Old Testament that is metaphorical.

So for instance, i did think that the entire story of Essau and Jacob always seemed rather crazy. But Bock says, this really is about the evolution of human consciousness - again, it is this movement from a sun existence (paradise) where everything is given to us - to a moon existence (the fall), where through guile and hard work, we must win our own Promised Land.

In Abram and Issac, the interpretation of Issac's death is one of the death of initiation. That Issac, who was around the age of 22, not a child as we are often led to believe, was initiated into a mystery school. He wasn't being led in some Hansel and Gretel fashion, tricked by his father into being slaughtered by his own hand. Issac was old enough. Often in ancient mystery schools, initiates would serve for years before they were one day, without any preparation, be told that they were to be initiated. They would experience a trial without prior notice. In mystery schools, the initiate must be willing to face death - the worst death you could possibly face is the death of ego - initiates are trialed and tested to be willing to give their all - their attachments of the interpretations of the self. Issac's 'death' was such a death and Issac was following in this tradition. This makes the most sense to me. That we would risk all in order to obtain a true understand of the self and of life. It is the experience which Bhudda had when he encountered Mara and his daughters - only when the shadow is acknowledged and faced without fear can we then awaken to our true possibilities.

And this makes the most sense because why would Abram kill his only son? The son which he had been waiting for for such a long time? It also places the Biblical narrative squarely into the traditions of world literature which recapitulates this story over and over again in many different cultures over time and space. It is like a fairytale, in that there is horror, but the horror is overcome through the courage and compassion of the protagonist. The Bible is therefore best read as a anyone would read a fairytale - and i am not diminishing it. Fairytales and myths speak important truths in hidden ways - they rest in our souls and help us in ways which we cannot begin to imagine.

Now in case you think that i am all for mystery schools and cults which practice in secret, Bock would be from a tradition that says, this is no longer the case. LIFE is the mystery school we are all in now and we are all initiates. We are all being asked to be Issac from the moment we are born. Can we rise to the challenge? We are all Bhuddas, we are all Christs. We carry this impulse in us just by being human.

So, anyway, i was reading this book, feeling a bit miserable about the state of the world, and this is the thing about reading stuff like this, i began to feel a lot better suddenly. I began to once again feel that it is alright. that i cannot lie down and give up because it would be wrong. Life is about struggle, especially if we decide to be awakened. Being awakened does not mean that life becomes easier. It is not about keeping calm and carrying on. It is about keeping calm and doing something about it.

And then i began to feel a lot better - and feeling able to do things about myself. Simple things. Like once more cleaning up and not watching TV and not just spacing out any longer. Going for a run. Reconnecting again. I felt a lot better.

It no longer overwhelmed me.

So.... the odd thing as well, was when i thought this, the cold which had been nagging me then began to disappear. This is weird, no? I was able to get up, put on some warm clothes and do this piece.

As always, i have a choice - a choice to move, to use my entire self to bring happiness and to love, or to sit in a slump in a corner and weep. Or even worse, pretend that nothing happened and to carry on numb, zombie-like. There is no shame in failing, the tragedy would be never even having tried.

Right, now i am filled with a quiet energy and can now think about the many things that need done. And they don't all have to be done at once, but they will be done eventually. I miss my mom and dad, but i am glad they are back in Singapore where it is warm! Onwards and upwards, or indeed, anywhere which my heart may wish to take me.