Shiva's and Metta's Mother's Sutra

Hey look at two incredible things I did! My babies Sometimes it is hard to forget the incredible things which I have done. The sons, for a start are amazing. I could have done with daughters, but hey, the universe gave me sons and they are wonderful. I have always lived my life with the thought of death at the back of my head. Say if I died tomorrow, if today was a good day to die, would I die with no regrets? It seems a tallish order, but you know, it is a good way of making decisions. It feels very easy now, these days. When I was younger, I had LOADS of energy. I don't think I felt I had to PROVE anything, it was more like having the agency to do things with an unlimited amount of energy. If i wanted to do it, I would just reach out and do it. If i messed up, it didn't matter because you know what, i had a great time doing it anyway. I never really felt that learning from my mistakes was a good place to start when you contemplated failure. To me there is no such t...

Aurelia! She is now almost 11! Shabu shabu Ikura! The best part of Planet Earth's cast Missing the food in Singapore - it doesn't happen very often Morning in Ireland. I am eating a soup I made, well accidentally made. Everyone else in the house is asleep. I slept earlier and can't sleep again. Jac called and so I answered the call. I started cooking before I knew it. It is hard to believe that something like sushi might not be available in ten years time because of the pollution of the seas. At least people are beginning to do something about plastic.

To Dublin and back, Grounds Day, circus school and lots of house cleaning. Yep, a weekend and a half it was. I was sooooo tired that I fell asleep in the car after I dropped Ghin off at circus school. Then when we got back, I did the shopping for school, followed by cooking dinner. Honestly, I have NO IDEA how I coped when the boys were babies. Cos, it was almost certainly ten times more difficult. I really need to get my health act together. I am eating waaaaaay too much meat and not exercising enough. I lead an active enough life, but I just miss running so much. I don't know what to do. And the garden is a total mess. It is really quite depressing. HOWEVER, on the plus side, I am still feeling a deep happiness, not this mad silly highness, and I am at peace with many things. It is great being in your late 40s. You don't sweat the small stuff AT ALL. Staying in the present is EVERYTHING. Sometimes I do this too much actually. I swear I have the retention capacity of som...

I was looking through some old blog posts and in 2014 my parents were here and we spent New Year's together in Connemara. We went to this wonderful hotel in Cashel and there we saw in 2015. My parents are amazing. They have given me the foundation to be the person I am. I am so so grateful to them for everything they have done for me. And I am so grateful that I recognise this now. Today, as I was driving over the hills back home to cook dinner and just spend the evening with the boys, just before Ghin got to football, I told the boys how happy I was. There is something quite freeing about being able to be happy in yourself - not really relying on anyone else for your happiness. I mean of course the boys make me very happy, but you know - to be happy, to be present in the moment, in that instant. This is what baffles me about most people. How come they can't be happy for the moment? Why do they suck all the happiness out of the moment? Why is it that if they can't be happ...

I am enjoying the silence now. Everyone is asleep and I have just come awake. The fridge is humming and the lights buzz softly. Apart from that, there is nothing. The silence is here. Sitting beside me. After all the hubbub of a busy day in school, the silence is like a long cool drink after a walk through a hot and dusty street. Do I miss Singapore? Not really. I don't. I also miss it less and less every year when I go back because there is nothing which I remember there. You can only miss something if it is still there I think. Maybe not. But no, not really. Not Singapore itself. My family and friends. I miss them. My sons though, they are so funny. Recently we figured out that they were indeed mostly Singaporean, hard as it is to believe. Peter is half American and half Irish, which makes them a quarter of each. Therefore they are mostly Singaporean. 50%, to be exact. This is something of great pride to Ghin, and even Oisin. They wear their ethnicity so proudly and I think, if...

It has been a very quiet day here today. After the storm of yesterday which didn't really affect us too much. It was windy, yes, but we certainly were not as badly hit as the South. The boys and I just stayed home and did things on the computer. Having cleaned the house this weekend, I didn't have very much to do. At some stage I cooked dinner and we had dinner. I went to bed around 9, as did Ghin. I can't believe it is already almost 2 pm. Something else happened yesterday. The exposing of Harvey Weinstein and the culture of abuse for sexual favours has gone viral, as they say. People all over the internet have come out to say that they were sexually harassed into having sex for favours in return. I have never ever suffered this. No one, in my entire life, has ever told me, have sex with me, or your career will suffer. Never. What has happened has been low level pestering like when you go to a club, but it has never happened in work. I have always been very good friends ...

I did many adulty type things yesterday. I bought lightbulbs, new pillows, I got a new beside lamp, which of course, doesn't work because there seems to be a part missing off it...must speak to Kevin about it. What else? I recycled the glass which hadn't only been recycled twice since I stopped driving, which means, that's a lotta glass, I bought some new mugs, salt, olive oil, and toilet paper. I had a lot of time to sit on the sofa and surf between The Hobbit: The Five Armies and another film - take your pick - cos I change channels when there are ads. I have to admit, for the first time when I was alone, I felt really really lonely. I know I didn't have to feel lonely, cos I could have phoned friends, called down somewhere... whatever, but I did. I did feel really really lonely. I soooo missed the boys. I have no idea how Peter does this for most of summer. It is just awful. But the boys want to be in Singapore for as long as possible, so we all stay in Singapore f...