What a weekend!
To Dublin and back, Grounds Day, circus school and lots of house cleaning. Yep, a weekend and a half it was. I was sooooo tired that I fell asleep in the car after I dropped Ghin off at circus school. Then when we got back, I did the shopping for school, followed by cooking dinner. Honestly, I have NO IDEA how I coped when the boys were babies. Cos, it was almost certainly ten times more difficult.
I really need to get my health act together. I am eating waaaaaay too much meat and not exercising enough. I lead an active enough life, but I just miss running so much. I don't know what to do. And the garden is a total mess. It is really quite depressing.
HOWEVER, on the plus side, I am still feeling a deep happiness, not this mad silly highness, and I am at peace with many things. It is great being in your late 40s. You don't sweat the small stuff AT ALL. Staying in the present is EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I do this too much actually. I swear I have the retention capacity of something with very little retention. I forget everything - the good and the bad things which have happened. It is having a mild form of amnesia. This is one reason why I need to write things down to process them. If I am not doing this, then I am not engaging my thinking. Thus, the blog.
I wonder if this is because of excessive studying when I was young.
However, reading what I have just written has reinspired me to do something to get more control of my life. Netflix and the iPad are evil. I think I am just going to let them run out and just charge them to small amounts.
I was recently reading The Archangels and The Seasons, a lecture series by Steiner and how the seasons of the year and the cosmos affects the spiritual life of the Earth. It still all sounds extremely weird to me. Although I think I have a more open mind. The thing about Steiner is that as time goes on he is being proved more and more right. I have never really understood what he was trying to say REALLY, but it just SOUNDED right. It resonated with my gut and my gut was right.
I was watching a lecture by Gabor Mate which said that materialism alienated us and this alienation resulted in the society that we see today. One of those alienations was the alienation from the self, and this was manifested in us not trusting our gut. Our intuition. My journey back to myself has been a really important. Part of teaching. Teachers must be intuitive. They have no choice. They must be able to read the child and read the future. Not in some mysterious woo way, but in a very concrete and down to earth way. This is a lot of wisdom in working with our intuition however, unfortunately teachers these days are reduced to being information shovelers as well as administrators. There is a place for administrators, not information shovelers though. Anyhow, trusting one's gut is very very important, I have come to understand. Holding your place and trusting your gut. And then being kind and gentle in what ever way you chose to interpret it.
There are about eleven reads on my blog on average a day. I imagine they are the same people who come back to it. My parents maybe all the time, which could explain for the post hits. Also my largest audience is from Russia, which makes me worried about the Russian hacking stories. Are they true? Does Russia go around collecting information from all over the world in this randomised manner? I have precisely no hits from China. Maybe this is because they leave no trace.
When I think back ten years ago. How much has happened since I began this blog. Well eleven years now. I had Ghin - I had just come home from Singapore and had just had Ghin. In between, I have become a Steiner teacher, seen a massive upheaval in my relationships, I have traveled to some many wonderful places and made many wonderful friends. These have been an extremely eventful ten years. Today an old friend dropped by - Wayne. I met him long before I had Oisin. I think I met him when he had just had his second daughter. She was like two. I was still living in Derry. Sometimes people are just easy to talk to - and he was easy to talk to. We became friends. And then we lost touch. He is now living in Belfast and he called into see Peter - whom he became friends with and kept in contact with. And it was nice to go walking with him and chatting with him again.
We walked in Stormont. Stormont at this time of the year is spectacular. All the lime trees are shedding and the place is filled with leaves. Because of its wide avenues, the leaves whirl and swirl everywhere. It is really quite incredible. We walked around the woods which I had not been for many many years. Well, i exaggerate, but it had been a loooong time since I had been there. The place is spectacular. We are so lucky to have so many mature forests and woods to walk around in, even in a city like Belfast.
And, as usual, we talked about everything. It was as if no time had passed between us - we were just able to pick up where we left off and just went on. That is a true measure of a friend. Some people you just feel very comfortable with, and Wayne is one of those people. A real genuine, straight up guy, who has little time for crap. An authentic person. I find I get on with authentic people most. And authentic people recognise each other very quickly, early on. I am grateful to be surrounded with authentic people everywhere. It is one of the many many blessings which have come to me in my life. Good people. Genuinely good people. I am so so lucky.
Right, it is time to go to bed. I love sleeping early and then waking up and then writing my blog and going back to sleep. I think I will be able to wake up more easily today. Having such a full weekend always helps with a fitful sleep. Having gone through the weird exhaustion I had earlier on, I suddenly feel amazing. Time for a honey, carageen and slippery elm nightcap with more Steiner reading. Thank you universe. Thank you.
I really need to get my health act together. I am eating waaaaaay too much meat and not exercising enough. I lead an active enough life, but I just miss running so much. I don't know what to do. And the garden is a total mess. It is really quite depressing.
HOWEVER, on the plus side, I am still feeling a deep happiness, not this mad silly highness, and I am at peace with many things. It is great being in your late 40s. You don't sweat the small stuff AT ALL. Staying in the present is EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I do this too much actually. I swear I have the retention capacity of something with very little retention. I forget everything - the good and the bad things which have happened. It is having a mild form of amnesia. This is one reason why I need to write things down to process them. If I am not doing this, then I am not engaging my thinking. Thus, the blog.
I wonder if this is because of excessive studying when I was young.
However, reading what I have just written has reinspired me to do something to get more control of my life. Netflix and the iPad are evil. I think I am just going to let them run out and just charge them to small amounts.
I was recently reading The Archangels and The Seasons, a lecture series by Steiner and how the seasons of the year and the cosmos affects the spiritual life of the Earth. It still all sounds extremely weird to me. Although I think I have a more open mind. The thing about Steiner is that as time goes on he is being proved more and more right. I have never really understood what he was trying to say REALLY, but it just SOUNDED right. It resonated with my gut and my gut was right.
I was watching a lecture by Gabor Mate which said that materialism alienated us and this alienation resulted in the society that we see today. One of those alienations was the alienation from the self, and this was manifested in us not trusting our gut. Our intuition. My journey back to myself has been a really important. Part of teaching. Teachers must be intuitive. They have no choice. They must be able to read the child and read the future. Not in some mysterious woo way, but in a very concrete and down to earth way. This is a lot of wisdom in working with our intuition however, unfortunately teachers these days are reduced to being information shovelers as well as administrators. There is a place for administrators, not information shovelers though. Anyhow, trusting one's gut is very very important, I have come to understand. Holding your place and trusting your gut. And then being kind and gentle in what ever way you chose to interpret it.
There are about eleven reads on my blog on average a day. I imagine they are the same people who come back to it. My parents maybe all the time, which could explain for the post hits. Also my largest audience is from Russia, which makes me worried about the Russian hacking stories. Are they true? Does Russia go around collecting information from all over the world in this randomised manner? I have precisely no hits from China. Maybe this is because they leave no trace.
When I think back ten years ago. How much has happened since I began this blog. Well eleven years now. I had Ghin - I had just come home from Singapore and had just had Ghin. In between, I have become a Steiner teacher, seen a massive upheaval in my relationships, I have traveled to some many wonderful places and made many wonderful friends. These have been an extremely eventful ten years. Today an old friend dropped by - Wayne. I met him long before I had Oisin. I think I met him when he had just had his second daughter. She was like two. I was still living in Derry. Sometimes people are just easy to talk to - and he was easy to talk to. We became friends. And then we lost touch. He is now living in Belfast and he called into see Peter - whom he became friends with and kept in contact with. And it was nice to go walking with him and chatting with him again.
We walked in Stormont. Stormont at this time of the year is spectacular. All the lime trees are shedding and the place is filled with leaves. Because of its wide avenues, the leaves whirl and swirl everywhere. It is really quite incredible. We walked around the woods which I had not been for many many years. Well, i exaggerate, but it had been a loooong time since I had been there. The place is spectacular. We are so lucky to have so many mature forests and woods to walk around in, even in a city like Belfast.
And, as usual, we talked about everything. It was as if no time had passed between us - we were just able to pick up where we left off and just went on. That is a true measure of a friend. Some people you just feel very comfortable with, and Wayne is one of those people. A real genuine, straight up guy, who has little time for crap. An authentic person. I find I get on with authentic people most. And authentic people recognise each other very quickly, early on. I am grateful to be surrounded with authentic people everywhere. It is one of the many many blessings which have come to me in my life. Good people. Genuinely good people. I am so so lucky.
Right, it is time to go to bed. I love sleeping early and then waking up and then writing my blog and going back to sleep. I think I will be able to wake up more easily today. Having such a full weekend always helps with a fitful sleep. Having gone through the weird exhaustion I had earlier on, I suddenly feel amazing. Time for a honey, carageen and slippery elm nightcap with more Steiner reading. Thank you universe. Thank you.
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