Morning, Sunday
I did many adulty type things yesterday. I bought lightbulbs, new pillows, I got a new beside lamp, which of course, doesn't work because there seems to be a part missing off it...must speak to Kevin about it. What else? I recycled the glass which hadn't only been recycled twice since I stopped driving, which means, that's a lotta glass, I bought some new mugs, salt, olive oil, and toilet paper. I had a lot of time to sit on the sofa and surf between The Hobbit: The Five Armies and another film - take your pick - cos I change channels when there are ads.
I have to admit, for the first time when I was alone, I felt really really lonely. I know I didn't have to feel lonely, cos I could have phoned friends, called down somewhere... whatever, but I did. I did feel really really lonely. I soooo missed the boys. I have no idea how Peter does this for most of summer. It is just awful. But the boys want to be in Singapore for as long as possible, so we all stay in Singapore for as long as possible.
I was in TK Mexx for the first time in six months. Which explains the shopping spree. However I have needed pillows for a very long time and all those other things I had bought. I spend very little on anything else apart from food. Food i spend LOADS. Well, what is more important than food?
I was reading about this callout culture. I did not understand what it was. Callout culture. Telling people how to behave. I think it has its roots in social media. I remember if you wanted to be a social activist back in the day, you did not sit at home to sign petitions and chat on on line forums. You 'leave comments' and you certainly didn't tweet or blog. What you did was you found or started a group which then did real things like organise events and spoke to other people RESPECTFULLY, because if you did not, you would be punched in the face. Then came the internet and we were delighted. We could then ORGANISE things using it. Tell people more about an event we were holding. But still, the main dogwork is done with other people, not by yourself in a bedroom, sounding off. Work on the Internet has to go hand in hand with work on the ground. And callout culture does not exist on the ground because you are dealing with a real human being. This is now a serious problem. The ease with which we can be assholes.
So, callout culture. Also a first world problem. And social activism has always been riddled with assholes anyone. I include myself in this. Join a cause. Discover how many dickheads there are around you.
I have been having a backproblem but i wonder if it is more a lifestyle problem, although... I have been walking more than usual thanks to my carless status. That is one thing I will need to have to keep up being with a car now. But I have also found it less stressful having a car. I think it depends on your lifestyle, your public transport system and where you are in life. If you live near a well serviced busroute, which we do, happy days, but see the way we have to cross over from one side of the Ards Peninsula to the other, not so good. I tried to take a taxi only twice a week because it meant that the money I spent on petrol would otherwise be spent on taxis. I don't know how much i really did spend.
So, my back problem. I also think i need to stretch more. Now that I have the car I can start attending yoga classes. For the stretching. I am also feeling a lot more energetic about getting things done. So many possibilities were just denied me I also became quite isolated. I didn't see my friends as much. I didn't see the country as much. Which reminds me I need to join the AA. That's £10 a month and I'm not sure if they fix tyres. And speaking of fixing tyres I need to get all that sorted out as well. Actually I am going to book myself in for a service in late October. Just lots to be getting on really.
It is one of those strange autumn days that I love so much.
Still and grey and the light is infused and suffused with elementals - it is the same but opposite feeling you get at the start of spring when the sap is rising. Only this time, it is having its one last hurrah before it says goodbye. Such a privilege to live here, on this Earth.
This morning I was thinking about us - the miracle of us. This place is a miracle and yet everyday, I take it for granted all the many blessings which I have. This is why I enjoy blogging. It enables me to sit back for a few moments to remember. And after that, because I am who I am, forget at once. But for a few moments in the day, I remembered. I don't know why I forget the miracle. It is especially poignant this year because this year Oisin is in his last year at school. I have watched him everyday for the past few years become the wonderful young man he is and now, he is will soon be gone, out of sight. I never planned to see him everyday, for that length of time, but I have been given the opportunity. And it is very very special. This time next year he will be away, doing his A levels and so I shall enjoy him as much as possible.
But also little miracles. Human beings are fantastic. We really are and yet we overlay ourselves with stupid things. How rich are you? How thin can you be? What job do you have? Where do you live? What colour of skin do you possess? What language can you speak? What gender are you? We forget about the wonder of being human. That we are able to do all these amazing things. The worst bit of it then is that we end up exploiting each other. That is the worst bit. We take all that gift and we put it to do evil work. The destruction of the environment. Hurting fellow human beings. Neglecting each other. What is wrong with us? How did we get so desensitised? My pain is greater than your pain and therefore you no longer exist to me, apart from being the soma for the pain. Somehow, when you diminish, I become greater, and that is constant message that we get from society from year dot.
I am guilty of it too.
Well, time to start cleaning the house and when it is clean I am going to reward myself with... oh i don't know what I shall reward myself with. But there will be a reward. Can't wait.
I have to admit, for the first time when I was alone, I felt really really lonely. I know I didn't have to feel lonely, cos I could have phoned friends, called down somewhere... whatever, but I did. I did feel really really lonely. I soooo missed the boys. I have no idea how Peter does this for most of summer. It is just awful. But the boys want to be in Singapore for as long as possible, so we all stay in Singapore for as long as possible.
I was in TK Mexx for the first time in six months. Which explains the shopping spree. However I have needed pillows for a very long time and all those other things I had bought. I spend very little on anything else apart from food. Food i spend LOADS. Well, what is more important than food?
I was reading about this callout culture. I did not understand what it was. Callout culture. Telling people how to behave. I think it has its roots in social media. I remember if you wanted to be a social activist back in the day, you did not sit at home to sign petitions and chat on on line forums. You 'leave comments' and you certainly didn't tweet or blog. What you did was you found or started a group which then did real things like organise events and spoke to other people RESPECTFULLY, because if you did not, you would be punched in the face. Then came the internet and we were delighted. We could then ORGANISE things using it. Tell people more about an event we were holding. But still, the main dogwork is done with other people, not by yourself in a bedroom, sounding off. Work on the Internet has to go hand in hand with work on the ground. And callout culture does not exist on the ground because you are dealing with a real human being. This is now a serious problem. The ease with which we can be assholes.
So, callout culture. Also a first world problem. And social activism has always been riddled with assholes anyone. I include myself in this. Join a cause. Discover how many dickheads there are around you.
I have been having a backproblem but i wonder if it is more a lifestyle problem, although... I have been walking more than usual thanks to my carless status. That is one thing I will need to have to keep up being with a car now. But I have also found it less stressful having a car. I think it depends on your lifestyle, your public transport system and where you are in life. If you live near a well serviced busroute, which we do, happy days, but see the way we have to cross over from one side of the Ards Peninsula to the other, not so good. I tried to take a taxi only twice a week because it meant that the money I spent on petrol would otherwise be spent on taxis. I don't know how much i really did spend.
So, my back problem. I also think i need to stretch more. Now that I have the car I can start attending yoga classes. For the stretching. I am also feeling a lot more energetic about getting things done. So many possibilities were just denied me I also became quite isolated. I didn't see my friends as much. I didn't see the country as much. Which reminds me I need to join the AA. That's £10 a month and I'm not sure if they fix tyres. And speaking of fixing tyres I need to get all that sorted out as well. Actually I am going to book myself in for a service in late October. Just lots to be getting on really.
It is one of those strange autumn days that I love so much.
Still and grey and the light is infused and suffused with elementals - it is the same but opposite feeling you get at the start of spring when the sap is rising. Only this time, it is having its one last hurrah before it says goodbye. Such a privilege to live here, on this Earth.
This morning I was thinking about us - the miracle of us. This place is a miracle and yet everyday, I take it for granted all the many blessings which I have. This is why I enjoy blogging. It enables me to sit back for a few moments to remember. And after that, because I am who I am, forget at once. But for a few moments in the day, I remembered. I don't know why I forget the miracle. It is especially poignant this year because this year Oisin is in his last year at school. I have watched him everyday for the past few years become the wonderful young man he is and now, he is will soon be gone, out of sight. I never planned to see him everyday, for that length of time, but I have been given the opportunity. And it is very very special. This time next year he will be away, doing his A levels and so I shall enjoy him as much as possible.
But also little miracles. Human beings are fantastic. We really are and yet we overlay ourselves with stupid things. How rich are you? How thin can you be? What job do you have? Where do you live? What colour of skin do you possess? What language can you speak? What gender are you? We forget about the wonder of being human. That we are able to do all these amazing things. The worst bit of it then is that we end up exploiting each other. That is the worst bit. We take all that gift and we put it to do evil work. The destruction of the environment. Hurting fellow human beings. Neglecting each other. What is wrong with us? How did we get so desensitised? My pain is greater than your pain and therefore you no longer exist to me, apart from being the soma for the pain. Somehow, when you diminish, I become greater, and that is constant message that we get from society from year dot.
I am guilty of it too.
Well, time to start cleaning the house and when it is clean I am going to reward myself with... oh i don't know what I shall reward myself with. But there will be a reward. Can't wait.
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