#270 - Coming together

Wee Long-tailed tit - it isn't that pink - neither the bird nor the painting

So the formula, I know now is, bed by 9, no iPad. Which is what I knew, but previously I was too stressed and too exhausted to carry it out. I swear now, my angels are waking me up. I got up with a start, like someone had called out. Come on, it's past 4. We're waiting. So here I am.

The days are simply filled. I do have to have a short kip in the afternoon though. But apart from that, it's all working out. The only piece in the puzzle is the garden. That's not getting done. I don't know why we have to work all day. There should be job shares really. More people get to work, everyone gets more time - it is irrational this full day working now that I've tried out the part-time working. It's mental. I know that eventually I'll be doing Forest School for two hours in the afternoon and it will be hard work, but it is nowhere near the same level of responsibility in terms of what is expected from teachers.

And it ill be in a Forest. That will make all the difference. In terms of demands in time it will be exactly the same as now. I may also not do everyday of the week. I may start off with Tuesday and Thursday, or Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Start small. Start easy.

Yesterday afternoon I was soooooo tired though for some reason. And I was so tired that Oisin asked me if my period was about to arrive. I fell asleep for a short while, and then I made dinner. Sausages and mash. After that, I did the laundry, did school prep and the headed to bed. That was around 8.30 pm. I wrote for about half and hour, then fell asleep. I do not know where the week as gone.

I have now been running almost everyday for 24 days. 25 if you include this one. The fitness levels are better than they have ever been in the past few years. I now don't think of the running process. I am going up the small hills without realising I've done this. The sunrise every morning is spectacular and it feels like it was made just for me. I look in the mirror and I feel great. I have also started swelling again. This swelling, well I don't know how long it will last - it could be over in a few weeks, it could be like this for two months. It doesn't matter. what matters is that I am running everyday. Until the hormones calm down there isn't a lot I can do apart from ride them out and that could take anything from a few more months to a few more years.

I was speaking to Lisa Perry yesterday and talking about life and people. We were exchanging the news and reminding each other about how lucky we were to live the lives we lived. That sometimes, yes it was lonely and tough and sometimes it felt like a cold house, but you know what, that is life. In my old age, I have learnt to be happy no matter what. As Ma says, sad, it is one day, happy it is another day. So you might as well be happy. She is absolutely right. In the closing years for this seven-year cycle, I am feeling some sort of equanimity.

Today...

After school:

Meet parent
Get Ghin, drop Ghin, feed Ghin
Post letters? May be too late
Clean Barnetts Road from top to toe
Shop
Lesson prep
Head home

It has been so busy this week. I hardly know where it went. But good busy. Not running on fumes busy, which is what it was previously and right now, at this moment, it is not too much. Hopefully, it will never EVER again be too much.