Changing woman is the Goddess who walks with me today. She is the Earth itself. She is Gaia. How comes it and through the ages the Earth and the entire skies were always seen as sacred and full of strength and wonder beyond our comprehension - and now it is reduced to this resource which can be used and abused. The rape of the planet has gone hand in hand with the degradation and devaluing of the sacred. It is time to reclaim that language and sensibility.
I have been walking - since we began this work with the land - ever closer with the land - lands. They sustain me. I am in wonder with the world every day, a little bit more. Through the work which I have done, I have encountered skeptics, no one bigger than myself. Even though I know now that this sense of being, this sense of connection, is the most real thing which I have ever had and which I have always had.
Now that I have been able to step away from the madness, the day to day to day of life, I am now able to return to the voice and the knowing and nurture it once more.
We must must must reclaim the language. I am no longer going to apologise for what I know works. We must reclaim the connection and say we stand here. We sit here. And we must stand up to the forces which wish to rip us apart.
It is not being reckless, but being courageous and cautious. It is about being content and in balance. But I will no longer put up with the hardline madness which is modern science and its cauterising, terrifying ways. As typified by Elom Musk and his admirers. Everything which he represents I abhor. Whether it is being a poor father to having this degraded view of humanity. That he supports Trump and Israel is everything I need to know about the madness which he brings.
But yesterday - the children worked on their own and understood how fractions worked. That is all we are doing this week, bedding in the fractions. Taking it down and in. Going one step at a time. Tomorrow we will do improper fractions and how to change them into mixed numbers and vice versa.
Today, after school, I'll do all the admin I need done. As much as I can do. At the end of this month I'll be getting that £4,000 which I invested.
£4,000... for doing nothing.
For a life filled with meaning - a life filled with delight and pleasure and happiness. For a life which explores.
I think that this part of my life I get to become a good teacher, work with Forest School and work with Spirit. I get to be a writer. An artist. I get to be someone who bring relief. I get to be courageous. I get to be the person I have always wanted to me.That is what I get to do. I get to bring this. To bring all this to bear. After my sons and this life, I get to do all this once more.
And relationships - it was funny when Ben mentioned how people who are single experience terrible loneliness - Heidi and I looked at each other and shook out heads. Eh no, we said as we wrinkled our brows and grinned. No. We are not alone. In fact, it was much much better than being in a relationship which is excoriating and painful. Which made you smaller and drained you of all energy. To be with a charlatan or have to do some kind of 4D jigsaw puzzle with pieces which will forever be missing. No. Being in a relationship for relationship's sake is totally overrated. It's completely pointless. Much better to be able to just live a life of freedom.
So today I do the things I said I would do in my diary. I have the Ormeau meeting lined up and the Fostering Network sorted for next year as well, hopefully.
The next thing we need to do is the Easter scheme. But first, today.
My facebook post today:
This ancient land ... today I consciously decided to reclaim the language and space from the tyranny of the rational mind. For too long we have allowed our innermost intuitions and thoughts to be belittled and sneered at by the who call themselves scientific, whatever that means. They have used the colonialist mindset to pour concrete and tarmac not just over the entire planet, but over our spirits and souls as well.
For too long they have gotten away with laughing and poking fun at things which cannot be measured and devaluing the simple things. Today, that stops for me. I am no longer going to be apologetic for reconnecting to the cosmos, to the land, for trusting my intuition. No longer will I second guess myself nor anyone else who is choosing to walk this path.
Look at the evidence of their work - this broken planet. Their way has failed. Colonialism and neoliberailsm will be the death of us.
We now live in a postcolonial world. We are taking back what was ours and we are calling out the hypocrites and the liars. The people who claim that they are champions of democracy and burn patients alive in tents. The martyrs of Gaza will forever be remembered for exposing the double standards and Western hypocrisy and the sheer sadistic evil which has been visited on us for 400 years.
No more illusions and lies. instead the truth of the land, our humanity and the gentlesness of life.
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