#85.20 - Trying to make sense of everything

The virus collection

As the days pass things make no sense at all. It is like I've fallen down a rabbit hole and I just don't know what to think. On the one hand people are saying this virus is terrible. On the other hand I think, not worse than anything else I've seen. Then there is Italy and Spain. That's weird. And China. But China has these things from time to time. That's why they are so prepared.

I mean I have said repeatedly it has to stop, please stop, but it hasn't stopped. I wondered who it would end. Well, the way it has ended does not bode well. It has ended in the most disastrous way possible - a way in which suggests that the scenario in The Road  is not unlikely. Right now if you ask me, are we headed towards what the Transition Towns people has been suggesting or are we headed towards Mad Max I would have to say, Mad Max. Mad Max because the structures which have been supporting us have been violently kicked away and the people who should be building the new structures are nowhere in sight. I mean WTF are they doing? WTF am I doing?

I am trying to teach children not very successfully and I'm not being allowed to start anything new here. I am trying to share some spiritual science practise, but that's about it.

The number of deaths related to Covid are now around 400 a day. It will peak over the next two weeks and then go into decline. Unless many old people die.

I do not want to think of the old people I love dying, however, that is a fact of life. People die. Old people especially die. Our problem is our arrogance and our attitude to death. And as a result of that, out attitude to life. We spend all our lives trying to make believe some stupid reality that when death arrives we are woefully unprepared.

What is life for? For me life is for challenging yourself every single day. Sometimes this works, sometimes it is fairly shitty. But that's life. Seven years ago I had the worst six months of my life. This year is another weirdly worst year too... well.

I have not been able to write because of the discombobulation which has gone on in my head. It has been a week and a half, exactly. Since this insanity began. Everytime I go out there it is a little more insane. However, I must unplug from the outside and concentrate on what is happening here.

So, today, for instance - I am going to go for my run, a little longer this time, then I'm teaching - sort of - then I'm going to work on Elements which I have neglected for the longest time. Today i'll work on the website.

After that i'll garden around 4 pm. Then it will be time to make dinner which will be... actually Peter cooks dinner today.

What is death? For me death is a part of life. We must die. We must. I mean we must die when we come to the end of our lives. It is terrible when people die before time, but when it is time to go, we go. It is terrible if people are killed and people are destroyed and people are exploited and live half lives - that is terrible, but really, what can you expect if you are afraid of death, then you will never live.

But what is the point of doing this? I wonder if I should share with people what happens after death?

Death the journey. When we die...

At the point of death a person is frightened. This is why dying alone is so terrible - that people cannot die in peace, with friends around them. It is the worst thing ever. Part of you - the physical part of you can be taken care of, and the spiritual part can then go on. It is so terrible that people cannot be given this comfort.

You can help someone on their way. I have done this by drumming them, by accompanying them to the otherside. I have walked people to the edge of death and accompanied them. It is not a bleak wasteland. No. Sometimes it is a forest, sometimes it is a beach. Sometimes it is a little town. And there is always a boundary we cross. A little ruined gate, or an arch of trees into a secret garden. There, in the secret garden are people whom they have known waiting to receive them. I never see their faces, but they are there. I sense and see outlines of their bodies, and they are waiting to welcome this person home. It is always a home. The journey of life is over and this is now time for rest. Your task has been done. To die when you are ready is one of the greatest privileges afforded to us a human beings. And the thing is that we should always be ready.

This does not mean being morbid and preparing for death all the time. No, it means to be truly alive. Wake up and know that this day may be your last and as such live it to the fullest. Of course not all days are days in which you can live to your fullest, but you need to have some off days too.

Starting a journal is a really cool thing to do - to record your days and your thoughts. Looking after yourself. Cherish your body. It is the most spiritual part of you - this is because it is with your body that you can enact kindness, show compassion, serve someone. You can't do this with your brain. It is with your body that you cook, clean, work, caress, find joy, suffer so that you can experience humanity.

Be kind to your body - appreciate it. Do not berate or punish it. Do not wish it to be different. Look after it. Exercise - but do not overexercise. Feed it properly. Love your lines and sags and wrinkles. They are battlescars like stretch marks are the marks of having carried and birthed. Embrace it.

Embrace life utterly. That is how we prepare for death. And when death comes, we know it as a friend. It is inevitable - as soon as we are born, we must die.

We have stepped so far from death that we see it as our terrible shadow. No, it is a reminder, a reminder that we are here to live. Our time here is borrowed.

Right I am going to do my goldfinch and then work on Elements things.