Who can tell the future?
It is the end of the year and the end of the holidays. Many milestones were reached. Many realisations encountered. Many obstacles surmounted. Many lessons learnt. I have had to take a hard look at myself and think about my own behaviour. My reactions to things. I am still trying to understand what it means to be the best person I can be.
I began to write in my own journal, the paper one. And this is always a good idea. Stupid things which run through my head are put down on paper and I get them out of the way. I process ideas which maybe weren't such a good idea but seemed like a good idea, I just throw things about. And then when it is done, it is done.
But what I understood was, who can tell the future, that is what I came to at the end. Who can tell the future?
No one, and therefore we can only live in the present and try our very best.
I think my big take away from this visit has been to not be upset when people upset you. Even if it means having to take a hit. Because usually people are hurting you because they are hurting themselves, or usually because they don't understand they are doing this. They don't mean to undermine you - or if they do, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm ok, and I am going to be able to take it, because, I'm good.
When the dust has all settled.
When the dust has all settled, there is still magic in the world. There is still possibilities which never end. I still rest in the arms of angels. I know we are divine. It has been so hard though to remember that when confronted with not just the realities of others, but my own frailties.
We saw a few places I had never seen before. The Dark Hedges, Castle Ward. We climbed Slemish again. Today we went to Culturlann and the Falls Road, after that we went for a game of Laser Tag. It has been so busy. Each day. For dinner we had Yaks. Yes, everyday...
Just like that.
I was talking to Ma there, and just saying how sorry I was that I had lost it with my dad. His hearing is not great and he refuses to wear a hearing aid. So we need to shout at him, and he thinks we are being rude. So he's rude back. And when we say it is because you won't wear a hearing aid he tells us we are making excuses. I wonder why he won't wear one? Is it because he must then concede to getting old? But in any case, I've told her, well, since i know where the limits are, I'm going to accept them. There is no point arguing or trying to point anything out to him any longer. I am not going to obsess about the stupid small differences which set us apart. What is important is that we are good to each other. Especially now, as the world appears to be falling apart.
I'm off now to plan the coming year. It will be more of the same - but in a good way. More of the very very same. Thank god. As things are unhinging themselves, the radical constant is so deeply appreciated. I am grateful for the work I do at school, my sons, my home lives, my family, amazing friends, I am grateful for my health, the food I can eat, the warmth which I can have in cold days. It is just astonishingly plentiful what I have and I want to let the universe know this.
Thank you.
I began to write in my own journal, the paper one. And this is always a good idea. Stupid things which run through my head are put down on paper and I get them out of the way. I process ideas which maybe weren't such a good idea but seemed like a good idea, I just throw things about. And then when it is done, it is done.
But what I understood was, who can tell the future, that is what I came to at the end. Who can tell the future?
No one, and therefore we can only live in the present and try our very best.
I think my big take away from this visit has been to not be upset when people upset you. Even if it means having to take a hit. Because usually people are hurting you because they are hurting themselves, or usually because they don't understand they are doing this. They don't mean to undermine you - or if they do, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm ok, and I am going to be able to take it, because, I'm good.
When the dust has all settled.
When the dust has all settled, there is still magic in the world. There is still possibilities which never end. I still rest in the arms of angels. I know we are divine. It has been so hard though to remember that when confronted with not just the realities of others, but my own frailties.
We saw a few places I had never seen before. The Dark Hedges, Castle Ward. We climbed Slemish again. Today we went to Culturlann and the Falls Road, after that we went for a game of Laser Tag. It has been so busy. Each day. For dinner we had Yaks. Yes, everyday...
Just like that.
I was talking to Ma there, and just saying how sorry I was that I had lost it with my dad. His hearing is not great and he refuses to wear a hearing aid. So we need to shout at him, and he thinks we are being rude. So he's rude back. And when we say it is because you won't wear a hearing aid he tells us we are making excuses. I wonder why he won't wear one? Is it because he must then concede to getting old? But in any case, I've told her, well, since i know where the limits are, I'm going to accept them. There is no point arguing or trying to point anything out to him any longer. I am not going to obsess about the stupid small differences which set us apart. What is important is that we are good to each other. Especially now, as the world appears to be falling apart.
I'm off now to plan the coming year. It will be more of the same - but in a good way. More of the very very same. Thank god. As things are unhinging themselves, the radical constant is so deeply appreciated. I am grateful for the work I do at school, my sons, my home lives, my family, amazing friends, I am grateful for my health, the food I can eat, the warmth which I can have in cold days. It is just astonishingly plentiful what I have and I want to let the universe know this.
Thank you.
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