Where does self pity come from?
We were at the Dark Hedges today. It is a fifth of a mile of beeches which were planted about two hundred years ago. That would be my family - my Singaporean family. My sister and her family, my parents and Ghin. And myself. Oisin was in school. We had just finished school.
The title for this blog came from me thinking back on things and realising that I never had the need ever to complain about my life. In fact, I am one of the lucky ones and I am grateful for that. I know I say it over and over again in this blog, but it is because I can forget it from time to time. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. Everything is so complete - when I am happy I am completely happy and when I am miserable I am completely miserable.
Take for instance looking at the moon tonight - I remember how miserable I was when it was last full - and now nothing has changed really and I'm fine with it now. I don't know why I can't ask for things nicely. Why do I have to always feel miserable first? It must a throwback to childhood or something.
So that is where the title of the blog came from... today Ghin asked me, if it was nice to have so many holidays as a teacher, and I had to explain to him that teaching - probably like nursing and being a doctor - was a hyper responsible job. In the past, I said to him, say if I didn't show up for work or if I felt like slacking off a bit during the day, that was fine. No one dies. But being a teacher, you are so responsible for the children that it is so onerous. So those holidays are necessary. Also, in the past I had to pay for childcare, and now I didn't. Finally, I could spend all my holidays with the kids and that was the best part of having teacher's holidays. I concluded by saying, the best part of it all is that I am a Steiner teacher. You know what this means? That I get to do things are care about, exhaust myself completely, feel like it means something and also spend time with my children. It couldn't work out better really.
Today we get to see a beautiful part of the world and eat great food. Seeing Northern Ireland as it is now through the eyes of guests also inspires gratitude. It is a place which has so many many incredible places - secret places, places you think, it is just somewhere I am so glad to be a part of. It is strange compared to how it was 20 years ago. It is such a testament to the spirit of the human being. People looking past the superficial differences to see to a common future. It sounds trite and stupid and basic, but stupid and obvious and basic are not things which are commonly available now.
Right, I think that we are going now for this staff do.
The title for this blog came from me thinking back on things and realising that I never had the need ever to complain about my life. In fact, I am one of the lucky ones and I am grateful for that. I know I say it over and over again in this blog, but it is because I can forget it from time to time. I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. Everything is so complete - when I am happy I am completely happy and when I am miserable I am completely miserable.
Take for instance looking at the moon tonight - I remember how miserable I was when it was last full - and now nothing has changed really and I'm fine with it now. I don't know why I can't ask for things nicely. Why do I have to always feel miserable first? It must a throwback to childhood or something.
So that is where the title of the blog came from... today Ghin asked me, if it was nice to have so many holidays as a teacher, and I had to explain to him that teaching - probably like nursing and being a doctor - was a hyper responsible job. In the past, I said to him, say if I didn't show up for work or if I felt like slacking off a bit during the day, that was fine. No one dies. But being a teacher, you are so responsible for the children that it is so onerous. So those holidays are necessary. Also, in the past I had to pay for childcare, and now I didn't. Finally, I could spend all my holidays with the kids and that was the best part of having teacher's holidays. I concluded by saying, the best part of it all is that I am a Steiner teacher. You know what this means? That I get to do things are care about, exhaust myself completely, feel like it means something and also spend time with my children. It couldn't work out better really.
Today we get to see a beautiful part of the world and eat great food. Seeing Northern Ireland as it is now through the eyes of guests also inspires gratitude. It is a place which has so many many incredible places - secret places, places you think, it is just somewhere I am so glad to be a part of. It is strange compared to how it was 20 years ago. It is such a testament to the spirit of the human being. People looking past the superficial differences to see to a common future. It sounds trite and stupid and basic, but stupid and obvious and basic are not things which are commonly available now.
Right, I think that we are going now for this staff do.
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