Niagara Falls

Can't quite believe how amazing that hair looks!

Well, my period arrived again after three weeks and what an arrival it was. It was almost as bad as the torrential downpour we had yesterday. Never in all my time in Norn Iron had i EVER seen rain like it. The intensity and the duration was something else. On Ardmore Heights the drains were overflowing and they overflowed like rivers. In the school this morning, I saw that about three inches of rain had fallen over the course of the afternoon. It was something else.

But today dawned bright and early and beautiful and we headed out to Belfast.

The famile are here and life is now very busy, but compounded by straddling two houses - and work. It is so all go that yesterday I was so exhausted when I got back that I didn't realise I had taken off my tights in the dining room and left them there with my socks. That is how tired women do. Today after St George's we did more shopping for stuff and then I came home and promptly fell asleep.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt I was somewhere in the countryside and I had met a friend I hadn't seen for a really long time. For some reason I was really annoyed about this and the more I spoke to them, the more annoyed I became. I then got so annoyed that I began shouting that them and finally I just stormed off. When I got up I was so upset and sometimes dreams have a long trail with me... and it stayed with me for a long while, even the place we were and the house we were in. I suppose it is good that I can still dream.

Anyhow, I am feeling a lot more human. It was weird getting my period again. For starters, I was so hungry the week leading up to it. And then I was really bloated. This made me very depressed because I thought jeez I am now a tub. Then it got ridiculous the bloating and when it finally arrived my god, it was phenomenal the amount of blood that came pouring out. Isn't it weird? It is almost as if my body is having a party with my period as it sees its self out. I really like that, the celebration of the end of my being a child-bearing woman done in big styles.

Looking at that photo I also can't believe how quickly my hair has grown since I last had it cut. I shall have to make another appointment soon. It looks like next week is adulting week. Lots of adulting to do. Man, I HATE adulting, I really do.

Just as a parting thing, I listened to Gabor Mate's conversation with Russell Brand. The nice thing about this interview was how honest both men were about their addictions and their own battles. I don't know what they are like in real life or to their partners, but it was fascinating to listen to them, especially Mate's own openness to what can be described as 'new age' treatments such as shamanism and accepting that spirituality has a role to play in the healing of the broken human consciousness which manifests itself in addiction. And we are all addicted in some way.

Speaking for myself, I recently had a glass of wine and it was really awful. I just felt really crap after it. What is the point now, I wonder to myself? There is none. The relief which it provides, the destressing element is pointless and it was very funny when I was recently offered some whiskey, I said, you know what, this is kinda giving me PTSD as I had flashbacks of our time in Jura.

So, that is what I am taking away from this blog - the celebration of menopause. I am celebrating the end of these childbearing years. My regular periods which came with all kinds of crazinesses. I would literally get completely insane when I was younger and end up getting very weepy and miserable. At other times I would worry as the period was late - the amount of money I spent on pregnancy test kits. Then of course, not having my period when I was pregnant with the boys... and having it return after. The embarrassment of staining when a particularly powerful gush came by... and I told my niece recently, when we were in the Convent, it was really nice having your period because the uniform was dark and if you did stain yourself, your friends just told you. It was so matter of fact. And we all talked about our periods so openly. It was never seen as anything which we would be ashamed off. We found it a real pain, literally and metaphorically, but really, we were so comfortable with it.

My niece is now on her first period and my mother talks about it so openly as well. I see where I got it from, this very casual attitude to the period. We talk about it in front of the boys too, and I hope that they also understand that this is just part of life.

So, endeth this blog. Off to get Oisin.