18.3.24 - After the Tears, the Laughter

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Yesterday was amazing. I cleaned the house and started mending while watching Game of Thrones. Not having the phone in bed has been a game changer. I have slept 8 hours and woken refreshed with brain fog slowly depleting. Departing. The last link in the chain.

Also yesterday, I felt that feeling you get at some stage, which is you no longer have to motivate yourself to exercise, exercise just takes place. You WANT to go running and swimming, just try and stop me. The kitchen was cleaned, the toilet sorted... and well the mending is a sign. I mended 7 clothes just while watching Game of Thrones.

Then I went swimming while Ghin worked out and after that came back and we both watched The Gentlemen - for me, again. It was fun. Then I sent him back to Jim's house and went to bed. I slept after three pages of Smilla's Feeling for Snow... 

It i a truly beautiful day already and I want to be out, but today is the day for sorting all the admin. I feel so strong. Oh yes! I hoovered and cleaned the car yesterday. I got it washed and then hoovered it inside and out. Like I said, I feel STRONG.

The last hurdle has been overcome. I feel as amazing as I have ever felt. Only looking back I understand I was in a dark, needy place. I am no longer that. I have emerged. This was not supposed to be my year, but just like being a Steiner teacher the second time round was supposed to be worse, that does not seem to be the case.

I'm going to the club, then coming back and doing all the admin, answering emails, getting dates in and then, then I'm going to do something nice for me. Oh yes, I have to help Emma get her woollen things. 

Yes, it is the gift of laughter. It does seems strange when we think about how we have continued these observations... celebrations after sorrow. 

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