Feeling strange

Over the last few days I have been completely run down and exhausted. Between the coughing and the full moon - the sore throat which means I have to whisper very loudly - it has been a nightmare.

What is freedom? I was recently reading a article about this. About 12 years ago, I was introduced to Steiner's idea of freedom. Unsurprisingly, Steiner used the human being as a metaphor for this very tricky idea.

Steiner said, the best example of freedom - best concrete example of it - is when the child develops the ability to walk without falling down.

Many strange and incredible calculations go into the process of movement, pulling yourself upright, waddling on two legs and finally mastering the ability to walk without falling over - for a reliable amount of time.

When you are able to do this, you are able to counteract the influence of gravity, the downward force, momentum, the forces which pull us sideways, and motion. The ability to stop and start.

When we walk with are in freedom - but this freedom is hard won. Watch a toddler learn to walk you may remember your own process... then there is the entire process of sitting upright, speech, using your hands - when we fully inhabit our bodes and we are experiencing some degree of freedom.

It is a real sort of freedom.

But it is always battling inertia, imbalance. List to heavily to one side and your freedom is gone.

In other words, freedom is able balance.

However for SOME REASON, we have misunderstood freedom for doing whatever the hell we like. No. that is not freedom. Doing whatever the hell you like is being enslaved to another force. Being able to maintain the mean, the median - and the struggle to do so - that is freedom. The same way a note is wrested from a perfect pitched string.

I am giving up on Homeland. It is American wankery. Yes it is well written, like The Diplomat, but it  is exhausting and of the Poor Little Rich Boy grafted with the White Man's Burden. I cannot bear the entire premise of America trying to contain 'terrorists' which are entirely of their own making. And the people who are involved leading such miserable and chaotic lives. I don't know what the point of the entire thing is really. Also the plot is unlikely and convoluted. Like Brody drinks like a fish but is also Muslim. And because he is Muslim he is also a terrorist. Also there are no non-terrorist Muslims. I think this world really has not much longer in this state.

When I think that men and women in their 20 to 50s and those steeped in compromise who are any older, have been leading this crap shot, it is really depressing. Yeah I can't do it anymore...