2nd April

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I did have something to day... earlier this evening. But it is gone now. I am waiting for Ghin to either return or tell me he is safe. Of course he has disappeared now and I am pretty sure he is not coming home tonight - I do not know where he is. So I am now up late wondering where he is. He told me he was ok two hours ago and that was 2 hours ago.

Good god.

Everything is changing in the world. There is something uglier out there, more fragile too I think. I cannot put my finger on it. The screens have completely ruined our lives. There is so much content our brains are completely fried by it. 

I did manage to get things sorted here but tomorrow will be a full day's prep for Tuesday. I am tired I have to admit. Really tired.

Today we were walking around Finnebrogue and Ghin said to me you have a lot of energy for a 50 year old. I laughed at this, but was secretly delighted. We went to Al Gelato and then to the Asian market. It was bust there but there were things which had run out - like duck eggs and petan. Things I had taken for granted my last 20 years living in Belfast. Signs like these remind me that we are slipping backwards. 

Europe is in a complete mess - a mess of its own making. For some reason those who were able to just kidded themselves about what was really going on in the world. These next few years look to be the worst hangover of the last ten if not twenty years. Cheap air travel, everything everywhere all at once - just a rush to insanity. What WERE people thinking?

Now at the age of 52 it feels that there is nothing new under the sun. There are no more wonderings which I have left - and if I do not know the answers to questions, it does not matter. Those questions stopped bothering me a long time ago. 

Now I just do what I can in the space which I have. 

I am sorting out the nasty streak. I am containing it. I am so relieved. I have gotten to the bottom of it. It is such a relief. I also notice that I have a judgmental streak which runs in the background that I am disabling. It feels good too. 

Heard that he is going to New York for some work thing... on his own. It will never cease. Good for the people who reap the seeds they sow.

Today's picture from way back when...





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