#187.21 - Encounters

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There are some people whom after you have met them make you feel ... what is the only word to use? ... they make you feel drained. Somehow they have managed to nourish themselves at your expense. And why is that? I hope I am not one of those people. I know the reason for that - it is because they are insecure. For some reason they feel less than. And then, you have to feel sorry for them. However, is it your job to then take it upon yourself to carry that? Questions. 

Also you can't quite bring yourself to say how ridiculous they are. So you just keep quiet and feel that the person is going down the wrong path and you can't say an awful lot about it. 

So, here is the plan.

Be mind no matter what. Do my Irish. Do my thing. Draw, write, teach, do forest school. Be simple. Always. Always. No matter what. This is the long term plan. The plan which says I am comfortable in my skin. The plan which says I chose this, I did not want that. And there were good reasons for that. I can't bear artifice, I can't bear lies, I can't bear exploitation, I can't bear the manipulation. I can't bear it all.

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Oisín is sleeping in bed and Ghin is getting ready to head to Heidi's. I don't know how they will turn out but for now we can keep them safe. We can give them a place to rest.

So it has been five hours since I began this. In between were breakfasts for the boys, sorting out laundry and getting school and schedules prepped. It has been tough going really. My head is all over the place. I am not collected at all. And it is not even 11 am. 

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