#298 - Ode to the Hum Drum

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Yesterday I felt quite blah. Just sense of what is the pointness of it all? The blahness of living. To be honest it is like this after a performance high which is what Halloween was. And then there is this now. I have had this sense of boredom. But then I realised this morning, this morning, the pedestrian, the hum drum, the boring is severely underestimated. The neatness, the two by foursquareness of the everyday. The gentle drip drip dripping of passing time, the solitude of the skies as they move without incident and emotion. The over exaggeration of everything has made boredom a premium. You cannot move for the crazy. Here I find peace. I find peace in boredom. I embrace it willingly, wholeheartedly, gratefully, the liberty of boredom. 

To be drinking tea, in peace and quiet, at 3 am in the morning is not to be sniffed at. To be able to write unmolested by a terror is not to be taken for granted. To say, there is nothing which I am overly worried about is a privilege. It is good. There is nothing to prove, nothing to plan for, nothing to shout from rooftops. It is perfect really. Maybe this is what perfection is? The solemn reflection of the falling leaves on water. And after that, an infinite silence.

The screaming, the bellowing, the insistence... all that is left behind here. Simplicity. Moving forward. Doing the simple things.

It has been a long long adventure and now I choose the boring option. The simple option. For as long as it is possible.

The dust has settled, the Earth still rotates. Life, life is simple. And that is what I have learned to do.

The simplicity of the everyday. It is pure bliss.

This enforced lockdown has been awful. Yesterday at the supermarket there were hundreds of people buying stuff. It was so busy because that is the only thing people can do now - go to the supermarkets. People now much cook at home, or do a takeout. To be honest I don't know what you can and cant do anymore. I just live life as I usually live it - except there are face masks. 

The fog is clearing. I can see things clearly now. It is as if.... I have entered another reality. One which is content with the everyday. There are no exceptions in this gentle weaving of time, only one moment that passes after another.

I am taking it easy. I will come home and make a cup of tea and eat some toast and get things done. Ghin, my Ghin, I will see and hold be near and do all I can for him. My dearest darlingest Ghin. My wonderful everyday life. This normalcy that I will cherish and hold dear. As the world enters a tailspin. No more, no more. No more chasing the crazy. I have come home. 

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