#173
Yesterday's Nice Thing: Starting the new business - and coming up with a name for it - Elementals, another idea... Nurture Spirits
Honestly, the ideas are pouring out. After this I'm going for a run. I'm just checking that the weird diarrhea is gone now.
I met another mentor yesterday and she has convinced me that maybe I shouldn't fixate on doing the after school IN the school. It probably isn't the best idea. And probably too complicated. So I am going to start to look at other venues.
I have been gathering people's addresses, emails and names - and also she put the reality of owning a business with accountants, and taxes and other things right. I was most shocked by the scam being run by the People's Pension. That was horrific.The person I have as a mentor is probably the most down to earth and 'normal' person, which was why asked her, and she told me that the People's Pension was a scam.
She said that the money did not go to a sovereign fun but was run by a few private investment schemes and the fee they took off the money was MORE than the interest itself (which I'd imagine is pretty damn low these days). So currently the fund is negative 30%. WHAT?!?!?!?!? I said. That is now way that is true. God.
So I'm going to have to look into that as well.
Gonna start a revolution.
Why not... right?
So, today I am going to go for my run, then do the classroom, then have lunch with Steph, then continue doing the classroom until dinner time. Then drop into Emma, then head back home. Oh yes, I must also call up the Signal Centre in the meantime. Honestly, it is so very exciting. Everything is changing, everything is shifting. The world is in flux and I am in flux with it. I dance with the world, I dance with the stars. I feel lighter and everything is more possible than it has ever been.
I feel.... free. I suppose it is a good thing I feel like this and I hope I imparted some of it to the kids in the class.
I have to admit I had a breakdown on the last day of term. But that was good. I refused to go along. Going along is not what I have always done with stupid things. And I refused. It was wrong, it was awful and it was not something I would be in line with. In step with. And I don't care really. Not really at all. But that's ok. I know I could have handled it better, but there I was. I am where I am. I am holding things and holding things and then... they had to let go.
I also had to let go too...
I have been reading the last part of Man as Symphony again. Steiner talks about a moral hatred and coldness which we have as part of our life as human beings and how it affects the world. It stays on until after we die and this increasing levels of toxicity are creating these immense amounts of aggro. He says that the best thing for it is Waldorf Education. Which is great. So I am trying to do my bit. But also there is the personal side of me which needs to be seen to.
I must, and I know this, I must let go and transform this hatred inside me for certain people. There are two individuals which I need to work through and the class of over privileged, greedy, complacent and lazy assholes whom I have no time for. I am ok with people who are terrorists even, but the 1% - I think they should know better. But why should they? What can I do to transform my my compassion for them instead of thinking and meeting them with simmering distaste? It is incumbent upon me to, as Steiner says, open up my soul and give love too. I somehow need to be able to separate my feelings towards them, and square it with my own actions too.
I still don't know how to do this, but I must be responsible for my own reactions. It will make me a better person. I know it will. God, it is really tough though.
Right, run now. Then school.
Honestly, the ideas are pouring out. After this I'm going for a run. I'm just checking that the weird diarrhea is gone now.
I met another mentor yesterday and she has convinced me that maybe I shouldn't fixate on doing the after school IN the school. It probably isn't the best idea. And probably too complicated. So I am going to start to look at other venues.
I have been gathering people's addresses, emails and names - and also she put the reality of owning a business with accountants, and taxes and other things right. I was most shocked by the scam being run by the People's Pension. That was horrific.The person I have as a mentor is probably the most down to earth and 'normal' person, which was why asked her, and she told me that the People's Pension was a scam.
She said that the money did not go to a sovereign fun but was run by a few private investment schemes and the fee they took off the money was MORE than the interest itself (which I'd imagine is pretty damn low these days). So currently the fund is negative 30%. WHAT?!?!?!?!? I said. That is now way that is true. God.
So I'm going to have to look into that as well.
Gonna start a revolution.
Why not... right?
So, today I am going to go for my run, then do the classroom, then have lunch with Steph, then continue doing the classroom until dinner time. Then drop into Emma, then head back home. Oh yes, I must also call up the Signal Centre in the meantime. Honestly, it is so very exciting. Everything is changing, everything is shifting. The world is in flux and I am in flux with it. I dance with the world, I dance with the stars. I feel lighter and everything is more possible than it has ever been.
I feel.... free. I suppose it is a good thing I feel like this and I hope I imparted some of it to the kids in the class.
I have to admit I had a breakdown on the last day of term. But that was good. I refused to go along. Going along is not what I have always done with stupid things. And I refused. It was wrong, it was awful and it was not something I would be in line with. In step with. And I don't care really. Not really at all. But that's ok. I know I could have handled it better, but there I was. I am where I am. I am holding things and holding things and then... they had to let go.
I also had to let go too...
I have been reading the last part of Man as Symphony again. Steiner talks about a moral hatred and coldness which we have as part of our life as human beings and how it affects the world. It stays on until after we die and this increasing levels of toxicity are creating these immense amounts of aggro. He says that the best thing for it is Waldorf Education. Which is great. So I am trying to do my bit. But also there is the personal side of me which needs to be seen to.
I must, and I know this, I must let go and transform this hatred inside me for certain people. There are two individuals which I need to work through and the class of over privileged, greedy, complacent and lazy assholes whom I have no time for. I am ok with people who are terrorists even, but the 1% - I think they should know better. But why should they? What can I do to transform my my compassion for them instead of thinking and meeting them with simmering distaste? It is incumbent upon me to, as Steiner says, open up my soul and give love too. I somehow need to be able to separate my feelings towards them, and square it with my own actions too.
I still don't know how to do this, but I must be responsible for my own reactions. It will make me a better person. I know it will. God, it is really tough though.
Right, run now. Then school.
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