We can be heroes....

Ma and Pa

Kong kong and the chuchu

I took these photos on the last day of Kong Kong being here. They capture the kids and my mom and dad perfectly. It's funny how we don't expect to be heroes, but we really are heroes, in someone's life. My mom and dad for instance. Heroes. Honestly. And Oisin and Ghin, heroes. Here to look after me and for me to look after them.

Yesterday, i was feeling a bit low again, and i went to bed. Partly the admin just brought out terrible things for me, partly i was feeling very tired, partly i needed to have gone to the club but did not, and partly it was just a general blahness of being. I thought, all my life i have only ever believed in people. I have only ever wanted the best for the whole. I did what others thought were best. I accommodated and compromised. And where has this gotten me to? It was sooooo unfair.

However, this morning i got up and i felt alright and then yesterday began a miasmic return across my heart, then i stopped. Stop it now i thought - then this image of a mountain... i climb mountains now and then, i never ever give up. I am a long distance runner. I do not give up. I do not bottle out when i'm on the treadmill, nor the machines, nor my blacksmithing, so why the hell should i bottle out and be miserable whenever the going gets tough? To face up to the bullies and cowards. The people who would beat us down just because they lack something and need to take a cheap thrill out of making the lives of others miserable. Who cannot be whole unless others have been wounded. That is ridiculous.

So i hugged Ghin who was sleeping beside me and i checked the watch. It was 6 am. There was a whole day to do things in. A whole day to be with my sons, my mum, to write, to do more admin and move into a future, to love - to appreciate what we have and be grateful. To love the heroes and heroines in my life. To eventually become one, one day, myself.